Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeyes fast food restaurant on Google Maps.
Recent entries:
•“Since we can’t use those beer rings anymore, I’ve been choking turtles with my bare hands” (5/18)
•“So you’re telling me a crab ran this goon?” (5/18)
•“The best way to honor our fallen soldiers is to stop creating so many of them” (5/18)
•“The best way to honor our fallen soldiers is to stop letting politicians create so many of them” (5/18)
•Entry in progress—BP24 (5/18)
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Above, Big Apple Corner at 54th Street and Broadway in Manhattan. Google Maps. Stolen and missing, 2021-2024.
Above, John J. Fitz Gerald, from the Aug. 15, 1931, Binghamton (NY) Press, pg. 14.
Listen to Robert Emmerich introduce "The Big Apple," a hit song from 1937. Music written by Bob and performed by Tommy Dorsey's Clambake Seven with Bob on piano. Lyrics written by Buddy Bernier and sung by Edythe Wright. Audio provided by Dorothy Emmerich.
Also listen to a 1937 "The Big Apple" song by Ozzie Nelson and his Orchestra. See a 1929 photo of John J. Fitz Gerald and a 1931 photo of John J. Fitz Gerald.
This site is edited by Barry Popik. These are the Cookies and Privacy Policies.
“Sun Chips are just whole grain Doritos”
“Sun Chips are just adult Doritos”
“Sun Chips are the poor man’s Doritos”
“What do you get if you cross a snake with a Lego set?”/“A boa constructor.”
“Happy Mother’s Day to the iPad that is raising your children”
“What do you call a snake that loves building houses?”/“A boa constructor.”
“The men who wrote the second amendment did not just finish a hunting trip…”
“What do you call a snake wearing a hard hat?”/“A boa constructor.”
“Fact checkers did not exist until we began shining our light on their darkness”
“Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and meme…”
“When they come for your guns, give them your bullets first”
“When you finally realize the science you trusted was actually eugenics” (sad clown face)
“If they come for your guns, give them the bullets first”
“If they come for your guns, give ‘em your bullets first”
“Give a hungry man a science textbook and he will eat Faraday”
“When they come for your guns, give ‘em the ammo first”
“Give a cannibal the discoverer of electromagnetic induction and he’ll eat Faraday”
“Give a cannibal access to a physics conference and he’ll eat Faraday”
“Give a cannibal a physicist and he’ll eat Faraday”
“Give a cannibal a dead scientist and he’ll eat faraday…”
“If you’ve heard one bagpipe song, you’ve heard them both”
“Pizza topping implies the existence of pizza bottoming”
“Pizza toppings imply the existence of pizza bottomings”
“When you’ve heard one bagpipe tune, you’ve heard them both”
“That face you make after they take your guns” (skulls)
“Once you’ve heard one bagpipe tune, you’ve heard them both”
“This vodka tastes like I’m about to tell you how I really feel”
“This wine tastes like I’m about to tell you how I really feel”
“This beer tastes like I’m about to tell you how I really feel”
“This tequila tastes like I’m about to tell you how I really feel”
“Wheat Thins imply the existence of Wheat Thiccs”
“Sun Chips are just Doritos that do yoga”
“Sun Chips are like healthy Doritos”
“Sun Chips are just mom Doritos”
“Wheat Thins implies the existence of Wheat Thiccs”
“GameStop implies the existence of GameDrop and GameRoll”
“GameStop implies the existence of GameCollaborate and GameListen”
“GameStop implies the existence of GameGo”
“Gamestop implies the existence of Gamesbottom”
“GameStop implies the existence of GameStart”
La Gran Manzana (sculpture opposite Radio City Music Hall)
La Gran Manzana (sculpture opposite Radio City Music Hall, 2022)
“It’s never too late to start exercising. That’s why I’m waiting until later”
Sports Cosplay (fans wearing sports jerseys)
“We’re taking a bite out of the Big Apple tonight” (Blue’s Big City Adventure film, 2022)
“We’re taking a bite out of the Big Apple tonight” (Blue’s Big City Adventure film, 2022)
“Football fans who wear jerseys: sports cosplay”
“Sports fans wearing jerseys is jock cosplay”
“I save my back exercise till the end. Lats but not least”
Jock Cosplay (fans wearing sports jerseys)
“My teacher told me guns kill people. I told her my pencil failed my math exam”
“I’m being fisted by the invisible hand”
“I’m wondering why brain cells die, skin cells die, your hair follicles die, but fat cells…”
“The invisible hand of the free market is fisting me”
“The invisible hand of the market is fisting us at night”
“Brain cells die, skins cells die, even hair cells die, but fat cells…”
Big Apple sculpture (Bella Abzug Park and Dante Park, 2021-2022)
“Amtrak implies the existence of Aretrak and Istrak”
“What if nobody was president and we all promised real hard to just be cool”
Big Apple sculpture (Bella Abzug Park and Dante Park, 2021-2022)
“Do regular dogs see police dogs and think ‘oh shit it’s a cop’?”
“Roman numerals? Not on my watch”
“It’s been brought to my attention that I have offended some of you. I apologize…”
“Twitter brought it to my attention that I offended some of you. I apologize. I meant to offend all”
“Roman numerals to be phased out—not on my watch”
“A cup of coffee won’t change the world, but it’s a great start”
“Knock, knock.”/“Who’s there?”/“Doctor.”/“Doctor who?”
“Some people say I’m crazy because I talk to my food. My sauces tell me otherwise”
“My attempt to make the perfect halal sandwich failed, when I made a pig’s ear of it”
“My teacher told me guns kill people. I told her my pencil failed my A levels”
“I may forget a lot of things, but drinking coffee will never be one of them”
“A tomato is technically a fruit, but it usually identifies as a vegetable. It’s a transplant”
“If an illegal immigrant and a child molester get into a fight, is it Alien vs. Predator?”
“Quiche, because ‘egg pie’ sounds disgusting”
“Learning is so boring unless it’s gossip. Teachers should just start every lecture like…”
“Technically speaking, there is a lot of food in this house. However, none of it is sweet…”
“It’s called quiche because ‘egg pie’ sounds like something you’d look up on Urban Dictionary”
“Do regular dogs see police dogs and think ‘oh no it’s the cops’?”
“Do regular dogs see police dogs and think ‘oh shit it’s the cops’?”
“Do regular dogs see police dogs and think ‘oh no it’s a cop’?”
“I finally watched the documentary on clocks. It was about time”
“They finally made a documentary about clocks. It’s about time!”
“Roadside sobriety tests are getting ridiculous. Last night I had to fold a fitted sheet…”
“Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself”
“Don’t let idiots ruin your day. Ruin it yourself”
“Whatever life throws at you, duck and let it hit someone else”
“Don’t let others ruin your day. It’s your day. Ruin it yourself”
“Never let anyone ruin your day. It’s your day. Ruin it yourself”
“Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Ruin it yourself. Be a man”
“Don’t let anyone else ruin your day. It’s your day. Ruin it yourself”
“Interviewer: What do you make at your current job? Me: Mostly mistakes.”
“If an illegal immigrant gets into a ?ght with a sex offender, is that Alien vs. Predator?”
“Whoever determined that a 1-inch candy bar should be called ‘fun sized’...”
“I gave up drinking on the 1st of January. It’s better for your health, and it’s only one day”
“Let’s have illegal immigrants hunt down sex offenders. We’ll call it ‘Aliens vs. Predators’”
“If you want to thank our military, be the kind of American worth fighting for”
“I ran into a lamppost yesterday. Luckily, I only sustained light injuries”
“If an illegal immigrant got into a fight with a pedophile, would that make it Alien vs. Predator?”
“If you want to thank our veterans, be the type of American worth fighting for”
“If you want to thank a soldier, be the kind of American worth fighting for”