A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeyes fast food restaurant on Google Maps.

Recent entries:
“You can’t tax your way to prosperity. You can’t bomb your way to security. And you can’t ban your way to liberty” (4/21)
“You can’t bomb your way to security” (4/21)
“You can’t bomb your way to democracy” (4/21)
“You can’t ban your way to freedom” (4/21)
“If you can’t expose crime in the government, you don’t really have a government. You have a dictatorship…” (4/21)
More new entries...

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“You cannot push anyone up the ladder unless he is willing to climb”

Scroogle or Screwgle (screw/Scrooge + Google)

“Won not done”

Triple-double (basketball statistic)

“If an argument lasts more than five minutes, both sides are wrong”

“Recovery is a process, not an event”

“Everything that can be invented has been invented”

City With Everything

Wefense (we + defense/offense)

“Keep the dream alive! Hit the snooze button”

“A fool and his money are lucky enough to get together in the first place”

“As cool as the other side of the pillow”

“With a few exceptions, the best players are also the hardest workers”

“He’s smoking at a gas station because he’s about to blow up!”

“What’s the difference between a plumber and a politician?” (joke)

“It’s the Hall of Fame, not the Hall of Very Good”

“What comes easy won’t last; what lasts won’t come easy”

“Homebrewing is my hobby; beer is my reward”


“Wealth: Income that is at least $100 more a year than the income of one’s wife’s sister’s husband”

“Right to rise”

“Never approach a dock faster than you are willing to hit it” (boating adage)

“The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scots as a joke, but the Scots haven’t seen the joke yet”

“Respect everybody but fear nobody” (sports adage)

“If a play is working, keep running it” (sports adage)

“It’s easier to get to the top than it is to stay there”

“Nobody buys houses in the winter” (real estate adage)


“The horse doesn’t know what its odds are” (horse racing adage)

“Sometimes the best trades are the ones you don’t make” (sports adage)

“The operation was successful, but the patient died”

“You can’t win a championship shooting jumpers” (basketball adage)

Joyflation (joy + deflation/inflation)

“You don’t recruit JuCos to sit on the bench” (college football adage)

“Win tonight, look good next time” (boxing adage)

“When you hoist a championship trophy, a mystical blood kinship is formed”

STFR (Sell The Fucking Rip; Sell The Fucking Rally)

“There are only two great plays—‘South Pacific’ and put the ball in the basket”

“A champion team will always beat a team of champions”

“All organizations that are not actually right-wing will over time become left-wing”

“If you can’t drive to it, don’t lend to it”

Economic Moat

Fedstapo (federal government + Gestapo)

“I hate losing more than I love winning”

“Don’t bore us, get to the chorus” (music adage)

“Beer is best drunk in the shadow of the brewery”

“The only thing I fear more than the government shutting down is the government staying open”

“If you see me running, call the police”

“If I ever had to run for my life, I would probably die”

“I’m not fat—I’m cultivating mass”

“It just takes one team to draft you” (player draft adage)

“Why do we bake cookies and cook bacon?”

“Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?”

“Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake?” (joke)

“Racing improves the breed”

Washington Demands Cash (Washington, D.C. nickname)

“I just flew in and boy, are my arms tired!”

“A panda walks into a restaurant…” (joke)

Fast Fine (fast food/fast casual + fine dining)

Rock Star Economy

Can’t Produce Anything (CPA backronymic nickname)

Can’t Pass Again (CPA backronymic nickname)

Laws of Accounting (joke)

“The IQ of a committee is equal to the IQ of the dumbest member…”

“Be for what is going to happen” (political rule)

“An accountant is someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had”

The World’s Borough (Queens)

“If it looks like a beer, and tastes like a beer, it must be a beer”

“You can fool all the people all the time if the advertising is right and the budget is big enough”

AINO (American In Name Only)

Bankism (Central Bankism)

Cocaine Importing Agency (Central Intelligence Agency or CIA nickname)

Capitalism’s International Army (Central Intelligence Agency or CIA nickname)

“It’s a great day for a baseball game—let’s play two!”

“You can play a shoestring if you’re sincere”

“Sometimes you eat the bear and sometimes the bear eats you”

“I would lose weight, but I hate losing”

“Feedback is the breakfast is champions”

“‘Yay! It’s the weekend!’ Said nobody who works in a restaurant”

Fuck This Shit O’Clock

Nor’beaster (nor’easter + beast)

“The early bird makes the coffee”

Strollerville (Park Slope, Brooklyn)

“One test is worth a thousand expert opinions”

“When it becomes serious, you have to lie”

New Mediocre

Patio Pounder (wine)

Phony Fake Show

“You must have great pots and pans” (joke)

“Crime in multi-story car parks is wrong on so many levels”

“What do you call a pig that knows karate?”/“A pork chop.”

“Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please”

Communist Core (Communist + Common Core)

“I’ll take the lobster home to dinner” (joke)

“A grasshopper walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

Superbowlian (Super Bowlian)