“Just got a job as senior director at Old MacDonald’s Farm. I’m the CIEIO”
The "EIEIO" in the song "Old MacDonald's Farm" shouldn't be confused with the position of "CEO," but there are jokes. "@TheFagCasanova: Old…
“Just got kicked out of the hospital for telling the Covid patients to stay positive”
"Stay positive" usually means to stay optimistic, but for a Covid test to "stay positive" means that the person still has the disease. The original authorship of a popular…
“Just got myself a Christmas job down our pub filling the salt and pepper pots. Mind you it’s only seasonal work”
A food joke involves the terms "seasoning" (salt and pepper, in the joke) and "seasonal work." "Why didn't the server want a job filling salt and pepper shakers?...…
“Just landed a job at the boatyard. I’m sails manager”
"Sales manager" shouldn't be confused with "sails manager," but there are jokes. "YES! Just been hired as a sails manager at the yacht club 🚣" was posted on…
“Just me & my anxiety against the world”
"Just me & my anxiety against the world" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Guess it’s just me and my anxiety against the world" was posted on X/Twitter by…
“Just need to go and cover myself in an envelope with bubble wrap inside it. I’ll be back in a jiffy”
Jiffy Packaging, based in Winsford, Cheshire, England, is known for their Jiffy Padded Bags. The phrase "back in a jiffy" means to be back soon and not to be "back in a Jiffy (Padded…
“Just once, I’d like to clock out from work by sliding down a dinosaur”
In the opening sequence to the American animated sitcom The Flintstones, Fred Flintstone slides down a dinosaur and clocks out of work. ~Cindy~ posted on Twitter on September 11, 2013: "Just…
“Just tried to buy toilet paper, but the grocery store’s supply was wiped out”
The 2019–20 coronavirus outbreak caused panic buying (and shortages) of toilet paper. Toilet paper puns were used during the crisis, but they had also been used earlier. "No toilet paper at…
“Karma is a bitch”
"Karma is a bitch" probably relates to the sayings "life is a bitch" and "payback is a bitch." The "karma" in the saying is a combination of "life"…
“Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday”
"Keep calm and pretend it's not Monday" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Monday is often the start of the work week. "Keep calm and carry on" is a sign…
“Keep calm and pretend that tomorrow is not Monday” (Sunday saying)
"Keep calm and pretend it's not Monday" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Monday is often the start of the work week. "Keep calm and carry on" is a sign…
“Keep the dream alive! Hit the snooze button”
"Keep the dream alive! Hit the snooze button" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many posters. The saying has been cited in print since at least 2005. 45-Caliber…
“Keep your business in town if you want to keep your town in business”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Twitter Donna Eliassen@DonnaEliassenKeep your business in town to keep your town in business. Keep your business in the country to keep your country in business!…
“Keep your ferns close and your anemones closer”
"Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer" is a famous saying from the film The Godfather Part II (1974). "Keep your fronds close, and your anemones closer" and…
“Keep your fronds close and your anemones closer”
"Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer" is a famous saying from the film The Godfather Part II (1974). "Keep your fronds close, and your anemones closer" and…
“Keep your goals away from the trolls”
"Keep your goals away from the trolls" is a saying that has been printed on many images. American self-help author Peter McWilliams (1949-2000) wrote in Love 101: To Love Oneself Is the…
“Keep your heels, head & standards high”
"Keep your heels, head & standards high" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Preach it skeeter RT @cindyyloohoo: Keep your heels, your head and your standards…
“Kill them with success and bury them with a smile”
"Kill them with success and bury them with a smile" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. The saying means that the best way against doubters or enemies is to…
“Kill your enemies with kindness. If that doesn’t work, try a knife”
"Kill your enemies with kindness" is a saying that means to try kindness to win your enemies over to your side. It doesn't mean that kindness is a method to actually kill your…
“Kill your enemies with kindness. If that doesn’t work, try a machete”
"Kill your enemies with kindness" is a saying that means to try kindness to win your enemies over to your side. It doesn't mean that kindness is a method to actually kill your…