“My formula for success is rise early, work late and strike oil”
"My formula for success is rise early, work late and strike oil" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Origin is uncertain. "How to get rich farming -- rise early, work…
“My friend is a professional sleep walker. He is living the dream”
A person who has a dream job is "living the dream." But suppose that person is a professional sleepwalker or a professional sleeper? "Sleepwalker livin the dream, sleepwalker sing…
“My friend is a professional sleeper. He is living the dream”
A person who has a dream job is "living the dream." But suppose that person is a professional sleepwalker or a professional sleeper? "Sleepwalker livin the dream, sleepwalker sing…
“My friend is making easy money by selling pictures of salmon dressed in human clothes…” (joke)
The idiom "like shooting fish in a barrel" (meaning something that is extremely easy) shouldn't be confused with "shooting fish in apparel," but there are jokes. "My…
“My friend used my to-do list to roll a blunt. He’s high on my list of priorities”
Managers often make to-do lists. A joke was posted on Twitter on April 9, 2016: "My friend just used my to-do list to roll a joint... He's high on my list of priorities." "My…
“My friend’s getting rich by selling photos of koi in clothes…” (joke)
The idiom "like shooting fish in a barrel" (meaning something that is extremely easy) shouldn't be confused with "shooting fish in apparel," but there are jokes. "My…
“My friends and I started a business where we weigh tiny items. It’s a small scale operation”
A business pun was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on May 3, 2017: "My friends and I started a business where we weigh tiny items. It’s a small scale operation." The joke was posted several…
“My friends say I’m a pessimist. But I think it’s far worse than that”
"My friends say I’m a pessimist. But I think it’s far worse than that...." is a joke that was posted on Twitter by Col on April 27, 2019. "My friend's say I'm a…
“My fruit and vegetable business has gone into liquidation. We now sell smoothies”
A business that goes into "liquidation" usually doesn't literally become liquid, but there are jokes. "My fruit and vegetable business has gone into liquidation. We now sell…
“My goal this weekend is to move just enough so people don’t think I’m dead”
"My goal this weekend is to move just enough so people don't think I'm dead" is a jocular weekend saying that has been printed on many images. "My goal this weekend is to…
“My graffiti removal company went bust today, but the writing had been on the wall for some time”
Many employees see "the writing on the wall" at their places of employment, an idiom meaning that the employment situation might be ending soon. A joke takes the idiom literally. "my…
“My grandfather was the best damn podium salesman. He always stood behind his product”
Several jokes state that a podium is a product that a salesman can stand behind. However, you stand on a podium, and you stand behind a lectern. "It must really suck to be a podium salesman.…
“My husband says I talk in my sleep, but nobody at work has ever mentioned it”
"My family/husband/wife says I talk in my sleep, but nobody at work has ever mentioned it" -- that is, the speaker sleeps at work -- is a jocular work saying that has been printed on many…
“My intellectual property is in foreclosure”
"My intellectual property is in foreclosure" is a jocular way of saying that one is not thinking straight. "My intellectual property is in foreclosure./@avi1111" was posted on…
“My job as a croupier is ideal”
"Ideal" shouldn't be confused with "I deal," but there are puns. "I love being a croupier, it's my ideal job" was posted on Twitter by Arantxa Colen on…
“My job at the concrete plant seems to get harder and harder”
A joke about having a hard job is: "My job at the concrete plant seems to get harder and harder." The concrete job pun was posted on the website Pun of the Day on December 30, 2011. Pun…
“My job does this cool thing where if you do your work well, you get to do someone else’s work, too”
"My job does this cool thing where if you do your work well, you get to do someone else's work, too" (or "My job has this cool thing where if you do your job well, you get to do…
“My job has this cool thing where if you do your job well, you get to do other people’s jobs, too”
"My job does this cool thing where if you do your work well, you get to do someone else's work, too" (or "My job has this cool thing where if you do your job well, you get to do…
“My job has this fun habit of adding responsibilities to your job role without adding any money…”
"My job has this fun habit of adding responsibilities to your job role without adding any money to your salary..." was posted on Facebook by The Life Network on January 10, 2020. The post…
“My job has this really fun habit of adding more responsibilities to my job role…”
"My job has this fun habit of adding responsibilities to your job role without adding any money to your salary..." was posted on Facebook by The Life Network on January 10, 2020. The post…