“My wife sighed, ‘Why does everything have to be a game with you?’”
Some people think everything in life is a game. A joke was posted on the Birmingham (UK) Mail on November 28, 2014: "'Why does everything have to be a game with you?' snapped my…
“My wife tried to beat me at Scrabble, but I wooden letter”
The word game of Scrabble has tiles of single letters. The pun "wooden letter" ("wouldn't let her") is sometimes made. "My mom thought she could beat me at Scrabble.…
“NASCAR, if it’s not a sport for idiots, should stop reminding the drivers to start their engines”
"Gentlemen, stgart your engines!" is a traditional starting command at the Indianapolis 500-Mile Race and other races. A popular tweet parodied this on December 1, 2011: "If NASCAR…
“Navy has a tough schedule!” (college football joke)
Navy plays its football games at Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium in Annapolis, Maryland. The classic joke is of an opposing player or coach looking up at the stadium and reading the names of…
“Never fight until you have to. But when it’s time to fight, you fight like you’re third monkey…”
"Fight like you're the third monkey on the ramp to Noah's Ark...and brother, it's startin' to rain" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. In the…
“Never hook with a hooker” (boxing adage)
"Don't/Never hook with a hooker" is a boxing adage. The origin of the expression is unknown, but it was applied at the "Fight of the Century" between Muhammad Ali and Joe…
“Never judge a pitch until both sides have batted on it” (cricket adage)
"Don't/Never judge a pitch until both sides have batted on it" is a cricket adage of unknown authorship. It's possible that it's the players (and not the pitch) that are…
“Never make the first or last out at third base” (baseball adage)
"Never make the first or last out at third base" is a baseball adage. A player sometimes has the option of stopping safely at second base or trying to reach third base. A player on second…
“Never meet a champion for the first time in the winner’s circle”
“We will never meet a champion for the first time on the podium" is a slogan of Scott Russell of CBC Sports (Canada). Russell explained in April 2012: "We'll never meet a champion…
“Never play hide and seek with mountain ranges because they peak”
In the game of hide and seek, the seeker is not supposed to peek and see where others are hiding. A riddle was posted on Twitter by Helen Bullock on November 14, 2012: Q: Why can't you play…
“Never play leapfrog with a unicorn”
"Leapfrog" (or "leap frog") is a children's game where one player jumps over another's stooped back. The game has been played on playgrounds for hundreds of years.…
“Never play pool with a guy named Fats”
Nelson Algren (1909-1981) wrote about this advice in A Walk on the Wild Side (1956): "Never eat at a place called Mom's. Never play cards with a man named Doc. And never lay down with a…
“Never play tennis with a cymbal. It makes a terrible racket”
"I've just seen a kid playing tennis with a cymbal. Terrible racket" is a pun that was posted on X/Twitter by Marty Lawrence on October 18, 2013. "Racket" can mean…
“Never play Uno with a Mexican. They take all the green cards”
A joke about the card game Uno has been printed on many images: Q: Why can't you play Uno with a Mexican?A: They steal all the green cards. The politically incorrect joke was posted on Twitter…
“Never realized until today that Karl Marx’s sister, Onya, invented the starting pistol”
German philosopher, economist, historian, sociologist and political theorist Karl Marx (1818-1883) did not have a sister called "Onya Marx" ("on your marks," as said at the…
“Never underestimate my desire at any given moment to go home”
"Never underestimate my desire at any given moment to go home" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Many people are introverts and do not like parties or meetings. This…
“Never underestimate my desire to go home”
"Never underestimate my desire at any given moment to go home" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Many people are introverts and do not like parties or meetings. This…
“Never walk the leadoff hitter” (baseball adage)
"Never walk the leadoff hitter/man" is an old baseball adage. You don't give the batter a free pass to first base -- rather, throw a strike and give the fielders an opportunity to…
“New York Knicks or nowhere”
Quincy Moore founded the lifestyle brand Knowlita in 2015, and Knowlita sold "New York or Nowhere" shirts. In 2020, Moore formed a company with Liz Eswein called New York or Nowhere…
“New York point guards will give up their grandmother before their dribble” (basketball adage)
New York City point guards having a reputation for being excellent dribblers in street basketball games, but some observers complain that the point guards seemingly don't know how to pass the…