“My friend bullied and pressured me to go spelunking, so I caved”
"Caving" is also known as "spelunking" in the United States. "Cave" also means to cease to resist (to submit). "RT @YUCKYBOT: My friends convinced me to go…
“My friend was in hospital recently. She’s doing okay and has been passing the time by playing board games…” (NHS joke)
The "NHS" (National Health Service in England) can sound like "any chess," and there are jokes. A popular hospital pun has been cited in print since at least March 2021. This…
“My gamer girlfriend just left me…said I always tried to controller”
"Controller" sounds like "control her." A gamer joke was posted on Reddit -- Oneliners on August 14, 2020: "My gamer girlfriend just left me...said I always tried to…
“My girlfriend can’t wrestle, but you should see her box”
"My girlfriend can't wrestle, but you should see her box" is a jocular saying about wrestling and boxing -- with a sexual innuendo -- that has been printed on many images. The boxing…
“My girlfriend just dumped me for talking about video games. What a ridiculous thing to fallout 4”
"My girlfriend just dumped me for talking too much about video games. What a ridiculous thing to fallout 4" was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on November 13, 2015. Fallout 4 is an action…
“My hockey mom can beat up your soccer mom”
"My hockey mom can beat up your soccer mom" is a jocular line that has been printed on many gift items, such as bumper stickers and T-shirts. The bumper sticker has been cited in print…
“My idea of a super bowl is a large bowl of guacamole”
The Super Bowl is a football game, but many people think a super bowl is a bowl of food. "My idea of a "super bowl" is a bowl of GRUB.. preferably turkey. And lots of it!" was…
“My idea of a Super Bowl is a toilet that cleans itself”
Football bowl games shouldn't be confused with a toilet bowl, but there are jokes. "My idea of a Super Bowl is a toilet that cleans itself" is a saying that has been printed on many…
“My mom tried to beat me at Scrabble, but I wooden letter”
The word game of Scrabble has tiles of single letters. The pun "wooden letter" ("wouldn't let her") is sometimes made. "My mom thought she could beat me at Scrabble.…
“My new dog, Minton, just ate all my shuttlecocks. Bad Minton!”
A joke on the name of "badminton" has been cited in print since at least 2000: "My new dog, Minton, just ate all my shuttlecocks. Bad Minton!" The joke has been printed on…
“My other car is a Zamboni” (hockey saying)
"My other car is a Porsche" is a classic bumper sticker. "My other car is a Zamboni" (the Zamboni ice resurfacing machine cleans the ice) has been a popular license plate frame…
“My sex life is like a video game. Single Player”
How do video gamers describe their sex lives? "Sex is like video game, wait, hear me out. Having sex is multi player and masturbating is single player..." was posted on Twitter on April…
“My wife asked if I’d seen the dog bowl. I said I didn’t even know he could play cricket”
"Have you seen the dog bowl?" is a question that usually doesn't refer to bowling or cricket, but there are jokes. "'Anyone seen the dog bowl?' she asked.…
“My wife broke up with me because I’m a compulsive gambler…” (joke)
A joke about gambling was posted on Twitter by Nope, Can't Think on November 18, 2014: "My wife broke up with me recently because I’m a compulsive gambler. All I can think about is how…
“My wife found I was cheating when she saw the letters I was hiding…” (Scrabble joke)
A Scrabble joke has become a dadjoke classic. Authorship is uncertain. "My wife found the letters I had been hiding & realized I'd been cheating. She swears she'll never play…
“My wife got ‘romantic’ today. It’s the best Scrabble score she’s ever had”
"My Wife got romantic the other night. It was the best Scrabble score she's ever had" was posted on Twitter by Mα† Thε Dαmηεd on April 13, 2018. "My wife got…
“My wife made me join a bridge club—I jump off next Tuesday”
Self-deprecating comedian Rodney Dangerfield (1921-2004) supposedly got this put-down from his wife: "My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday." The joke has been cited…
“My wife sighed, ‘Why does everything have to be a game with you?’”
Some people think everything in life is a game. A joke was posted on the Birmingham (UK) Mail on November 28, 2014: "'Why does everything have to be a game with you?' snapped my…
“My wife tried to beat me at Scrabble, but I wooden letter”
The word game of Scrabble has tiles of single letters. The pun "wooden letter" ("wouldn't let her") is sometimes made. "My mom thought she could beat me at Scrabble.…
“NASCAR, if it’s not a sport for idiots, should stop reminding the drivers to start their engines”
"Gentlemen, stgart your engines!" is a traditional starting command at the Indianapolis 500-Mile Race and other races. A popular tweet parodied this on December 1, 2011: "If NASCAR…