“Why do lesbians shop at Sports Authority?”/“Because they don’t like Dick’s.”
Dick's Sporting Goods was founded by Richard "Dick" Stack in 1948. There's a popular riddle on the name: Q: Why do lesbians shop at Sports Authority?A: Because they don't…
“Why do pancakes always win at baseball?”/“They have the best batter.”
The term "batter" is the subject of several baseball and pancake riddles. "Q. How is a baseball game like a pancake? A. They both need a good batter!" was printed in the Battle…
“Why do they call it a World Series when it’s always played in the Bronx?”
"They call it the World Series...but it is usually played in the Bronx!" can be found in Google Groups, May 25, 2001. Here's a reference to this now-popular T-shirt wisdom: (GOOGLE…
“Why do we sing ‘Take me out to the ball game’ when we are already there?”
"Take Me Out to the Ball Game" is a classic baseball song, written by Jack Norwoth and Albert Von Tilzer in 1908. "Why do we sing 'Take me out to the ball game' when we are…
“Why does the man want to buy nine rackets?”/“Because tennis too many.”
A tennis riddle is: Q: Why does the man want to buy nine rackets?A: Because tennis too many. "Tennis" is a pun on "ten is." The joke was posted on Twitter by Olls Grainger on…
“Why doesn’t Jesus play hockey?” (joke)
A frequently told hockey joke has been cited in print since at least 2000: Q: Why doesn't Jesus play hockey?A: Because he's afraid of being nailed to the boards. An anti-joke of this was…
“Why doesn’t Mike Tyson use a PlayStation?”/“Because he’s an X-Boxer.”
Xbox is a video gaming brand from Microsoft. Is someone who uses Xbox called an "Xboxer"? Of course, there are "ex-boxer" jokes. "Why doesn't Mike Tyson play…
“Why don’t blind people go skydiving?”/“Because it scares the hell out of their dogs.”
A riddle about the sport of skydiving is: Q: Why don't blind people go skydiving?A: Because it scares the hell out of their dogs. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 1989. Google…
“Why don’t boxers have sex the night before a fight?”/“They don’t fancy each other.”
A boxing riddle is: Q: Why don't boxers have sex the night before a fight?\A: They don't fancy each other. The question sounds like one asking how a boxer prepares for a fight. Abstaining…
“Why don’t chickens play baseball?” (joke)
A popular children's pun about baseball is: Q: Why don't chickens play baseball? A: Because they hit fowl balls. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1983. 5 February 1983,…
“Why don’t football players wear glasses?”/“Because it’s a contact sport.”
A joke about "contact" sports is: Q: Why don't football players wear glasses?A: Because it's a contact sport. "It seems wrong to wear glasses in a contact sport" was…
“Why don’t orphans play baseball?”/“They don’t know where home is.”
A baseball riddle (a "home" plate pun) is: Q: Why don't orphans play baseball?A: They don't know where home is. "Stupid question: Why don't orphans play…
“Why don’t the Chinese gamble?”/“Because they don’t like Tibet.”
"Tibet" sounds like "to bet," and there are jokes. "ARE YOU AGAINST ALL FORMS OF GAMBLING OR DO YOU LIKE TIBET?" was posted on the newsgroup talk.politics.tibet on…
“Why don’t vampires gamble?”/“They can’t deal with those stakes.”
"Why cant vampires gamble? They run away everytime someone puts forward a stake" was posted on Twitter by Macauley Oliver on August 10, 2009. "Why don’t vampires gamble? They…
“Why don’t vampires play poker?”/“They are afraid of the stakes.”
"Why cant vampires gamble? They run away everytime someone puts forward a stake" was posted on Twitter by Macauley Oliver on August 10, 2009. "Why don’t vampires gamble? They…
“Why is NASCAR a white dominated sport?”/“They’re all racists.”
National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing (NASCAR) fans are often white. "Why do americans love Nascar so much? Because they're all racists" was posted on Twitter on May 2,…
“Why is Peter Pan such a bad boxer?”/“He never lands.”
A popular children's joke is: Q: Why is Peter Pan always flying?A: Because he never lands. "Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he can Neverland!" was posted on a Disney-themed…
“Why is Spain so good at soccer?”/“Because no one expects the Spanish in position.”
"The Spanish Inquisition" is a series of sketches in the British comedy series Monty Python's Flying Circus, Series 2 Episode 2, first broadcast September 22, 1970. "Nobody…
“Why isn’t suntanning an Olympic sport?”/“You can only get bronze.”
A popular joke about the Olympics is: Q: Why isn't suntanning an Olympic sport?A: Because the best you can ever get is bronze. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2008. Enough…
“Why should you never fight a dinosaur?”/“You’ll get jurasskicked.”
"Why should you never fight a dinosaur? You'll get jurasskicked" -- a pun on "Jurassic" -- has been printed on many images. “@hippieswordfish: making fun of dinosaurs to…