“Apparently ‘just fuck me up’ is not an appropriate coffee order at Starbucks”
"Apparently 'just fuck me up' is not a proper coffee order at Starbucks" (or "Apparently 'just fuck me up' is not an appropriate coffee order at Starbucks")…
“Are you allowed to go to Starbucks if you don’t have an Instagram account?”
Many people go to Starbucks (a coffeehouse) and post their order on Instagram -- as if anyone was interested. "are you even allowed to have an Instagram account if you don't post…
“Are you free tonight or will it cost me?” (pick-up line)
"Are you free tonight or will it cost me?" is a jocular example of a terrible pick-up line. "Are you free tonight?" is a pun on "Are you available tonight?" and…
“Are you from Harvard and can’t count, or from MIT and can’t read?” (supermarket checkout joke)
Many supermarkets have a checkout for "10 items or less" or "12 items or less." A person with more items who goes to that checkout either can't read or can't count --…
“Are you supposed to tip the waiters here?” (joke)
An old joke involves tipping the waiter (the server) or the waiter (a person who waits). The joke has been cited in print since at least 1911: Customer -- Is it usual to tip the waiters here?Waiter…
“As the world gets dumber, I can’t help but think Pizza Hut should give a personal pan pizza to every adult who reads…”
Pizza Hut's "Book It!" promotion has encouraged students to read to earn free personal pan pizzas. This was posted on X/Twitter by SCOTTY (@MississippiMudflap, an account that no…
“Asked for a medium roast at Starbucks and the barista made fun of me instead”
A person who enters a coffee shop and orders a "medium roast" probably doesn't want a light ribbing, but there are many jokes. "Asked for a medium roast at Starbucks and the…
“At home, it’s weird for two people to eat two different things for dinner but at a restaurant, it’s weird to order the same thing”
At home, two people usually have the same entrees because it's easier to cook two of the same thing. However, at a restaurant, two people usually order different entrees, possibly to share the…
“At some point, Subway convinced us all it’s healthy to eat a whole loaf of bread in one sitting”
Many people who order a sub at Subway feel like they're eating a whole loaf of bread in one sitting. "'Ha! And you thought you couldn't eat an entire loaf of bread.' - me…
“At Subway, they make the sandwich how you tell them. At Domway, they tell you how you’re gonna get it”
“Dominance and submission” or “dom/sub” doesn't mean that for every "subway" there must exist also a "domway," but there are jokes. Some jokes involve the…
“At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A cliché version is: "At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a…
“At the supermarket, I saw a man and a woman wrapped in a barcode” (joke)
A popular supermarket barcode joke is: "So I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode. I said, 'Are you two an item?'" Tesco is a supermarket chain…
“Attila walks into a quaint Southern diner. Waitress says, ‘What can I get you, Hun?’”
Many Southern waitresses, according to the stereotype, address a diner with "hon" (honey). This as nothing to do with Attila the Hun, but there are jokes. "I get called…
“Austin Powers walks into a bar….” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." There are several jokes about a "large aperitif" (large pair of teeth), usually…
“Auto-correct walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." An auto-correct version is: "Auto-correct walks into a bar. And the batman says,…
“Bacon and eggs walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." One popular bar joke is: "Bacon and eggs walk into a bar. The bartender says,…
“Bacteria: rear entrance to a cafeteria”
Entry in progress -- BP TwitterSamurai Noetic.@SupremeGREAMBacteria. The rear entrance to a cafeteria.11:59 PM · Dec 31, 2016·Twitter Web App Reddit -- TaglinesPosted by u/tagline_bot March 13,…
“Bananas get their stickers by being so well behaved”
Price look-up code stickers are placed on produce. They are not the same stickers that children get for good behavior, but there are jokes. "Bananas Get Their Stickers From Being Well…
“Banh Mi Pho Life”
"Banh Mi Pho Life" -- sounding like "Ban Me For Life" -- is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Banh mi" and "Pho" are two popular…
“Baptists don’t recognize each other at the liquor store” (joke)
A popular joke about religion is: "Jews don't recognize Jesus, Protestants don't recognize the Pope, and Baptists don't recognize one another in the liquor store." The joke…