“Without you, my life is as empty as the supermarket shelf”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused panic buying, and many supermarket shelves were empty. A pickup line joke was posted on Twitter by Poeticgirl86 on March 19, 2020:…
“Would you like to hear the specials?” (restaurant joke)
A waiter or waitress often tells diners about the day’s special menu. This doesn't mean that diners want to hear The Specials (an English 2 tone and ska revival band), but there are jokes.…
“Would you like to hear today’s special?” (restaurant joke)
A waiter or waitress often tells diners about the day's special menu. "Today's special" does not mean that the day itself is special, but there are jokes. This was posted on…
“Yelling ‘the floor is java’ in a Starbucks does not get you served any quicker”
"The floor is lava" is a game. "The floor is java" is a coffee pun. "The floor is java" is also a Java programming language joke. "I want to play the floor is…
“Yes, break-ups suck, but have you ever left your to-go box on the table at a restaurant?”
Forgetting about taking a "to-go" box home from a restaurant can be sad, but it's common. "#RetweetThis if you've ever eaten at a restaurant, asked for a to go box, and…
“Yo mama is like groceries during a pandemic—available for curbside pickup”
The 2019–20 coronavirus outbreak resulted in many restaurants and food stores opening only for curbside pickup. This situation has been used on a "yo mama" insult joke. “yo mama was…
“Yo mama is so fat, she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu and says, `OK!’”
Can a fat person eat everything on a restaurant's menu? A popular "yo mama" insult "fat joke" is: "Yo mama is so fat, she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu and…
“Yo momma so poor she shops at Half Foods”
Whole Foods Market can be expensive, so some people joke that they shop at Half Foods. "I grew up so poor we had to do all our grocery shopping at Half Foods. #jokesiwroteforsteveharvey"…
“Yo momma’s so fat she should shop at Half Foods!”
Whole Foods Market can be expensive, so some people joke that they shop at Half Foods. "I grew up so poor we had to do all our grocery shopping at Half Foods. #jokesiwroteforsteveharvey"…
“You can buy a half chicken at Whole Foods”
Can you buy a half chicken at Whole Foods? The joke was popularized by American stand-up comedian and actor Brody Stevens (1970-2019). "Whole Foods? Once bought a half-chicken there. Get it?…
“You can buy half a chicken at Whole Foods”
Can you buy a half chicken at Whole Foods? The joke was popularized by American stand-up comedian and actor Brody Stevens (1970-2019). "Whole Foods? Once bought a half-chicken there. Get it?…
“You can judge a lot about a restaurant by how they maintain their restrooms”
Entry in progress -- B.P. TwitterDJ Damian P@DJDamianPYou can tell a lot about a venue based on how well they maintain their restrooms.1:22 PM - 17 Apr 2012 yelp (Phoenix, AZ) El Ranchero…
“You can tell a lot about a person by what the order at a restaurant when someone else is paying”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Reddit -- Shower ThoughtsYou can tell a lot about a person by what the order at a restaurant when someone else is paying.submitted September 30, 2017 by no_morelurking
“You can’t expect to look like a million bucks if you eat from the dollar menu”
"You can't expect to look like a million bucks if you eat from the dollar menu" is a food saying that has been printed on many images. The "dollar menu" (also called the…
“You can’t truly refer to yourself as an adult until you catch yourself getting really angry when the grocery store changes their layout”
"You can't truly refer to yourself as an adult until you catch yourself getting really angry when the grocery store changes their layout" is a saying that has been printed on many…
“You can’t kick me out of the International House Of Pancakes! I have diplomatic immunity!”
The International House of Pancakes (IHOP) doesn't give anyone diplomatic immunity, but there are jokes. "The best thing about working at the International House of Pancakes? Diplomatic…
“You can’t spell ‘menu’ without me n u so wassup baby, take me out to dinner”
“Do you know what’s on the menu? Me-n-u” is a "menu" joke and pickup line that has been cited in print since at least 1878. "ya know u cant spell menu without me-n-u" was…
“You can’t spell ‘menu’ without (me n u) so wats up baby, you hungry?”
“Do you know what’s on the menu? Me-n-u” is a "menu" joke and pickup line that has been cited in print since at least 1878. "ya know u cant spell menu without me-n-u" was…
“You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here” (bar saying at closing time)
"You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here" is what a bar manager might say to his last remaining customers at closing time. "In the old days, the cry in the…
“You hate your job? There’s a support group that meets at the bar”
American actor and comedian Drew Carey is credited with the line: "Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and…