“Wife: Can you pick up milk?” (joke)
A request to "pick up" an item from the store means to get it from the store. It does not mean to literally pick up the item, but there are jokes. This was posted on Twitter by…
“With chains like Burger King, Dairy Queen, and White Castle, we need a peasant themed fast food”
A comment about fast food chains was posted on Reddit -- Showerthoughts on May 18, 2021: "With chains like Burger King, Dairy Queen, and White Castle, we need a peasant themed fast food."…
“Without you, my life is as empty as the supermarket shelf”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused panic buying, and many supermarket shelves were empty. A pickup line joke was posted on Twitter by Poeticgirl86 on March 19, 2020:…
“Would you like to hear today’s special?” (restaurant joke)
A waiter or waitress often tells diners about the day's special menu. "Today's special" does not mean that the day itself is special, but there are jokes. This was posted on…
“Yes, break-ups suck, but have you ever left your to-go box on the table at a restaurant?”
Forgetting about taking a "to-go" box home from a restaurant can be sad, but it's common. "#RetweetThis if you've ever eaten at a restaurant, asked for a to go box, and…
“Yo mama is like groceries during a pandemic—available for curbside pickup”
The 2019–20 coronavirus outbreak resulted in many restaurants and food stores opening only for curbside pickup. This situation has been used on a "yo mama" insult joke. “yo mama was…
“Yo mama is so fat, she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu and says, `OK!’”
Can a fat person eat everything on a restaurant's menu? A popular "yo mama" insult "fat joke" is: "Yo mama is so fat, she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu and…
“You can buy a half chicken at Whole Foods”
Can you buy a half chicken at Whole Foods? The joke was popularized by American stand-up comedian and actor Brody Stevens (1970-2019). "Whole Foods? Once bought a half-chicken there. Get it?…
“You can buy half a chicken at Whole Foods”
Can you buy a half chicken at Whole Foods? The joke was popularized by American stand-up comedian and actor Brody Stevens (1970-2019). "Whole Foods? Once bought a half-chicken there. Get it?…
“You can judge a lot about a restaurant by how they maintain their restrooms”
Entry in progress -- B.P. TwitterDJ Damian P@DJDamianPYou can tell a lot about a venue based on how well they maintain their restrooms.1:22 PM - 17 Apr 2012 yelp (Phoenix, AZ) El Ranchero…
“You can tell a lot about a person by what the order at a restaurant when someone else is paying”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Reddit -- Shower ThoughtsYou can tell a lot about a person by what the order at a restaurant when someone else is paying.submitted September 30, 2017 by no_morelurking
“You can’t expect to look like a million bucks if you eat from the dollar menu”
"You can't expect to look like a million bucks if you eat from the dollar menu" is a food saying that has been printed on many images. The "dollar menu" (also called the…
“You can’t truly refer to yourself as an adult until you catch yourself getting really angry when the grocery store changes their layout”
"You can't truly refer to yourself as an adult until you catch yourself getting really angry when the grocery store changes their layout" is a saying that has been printed on many…
“You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here” (bar saying at closing time)
"You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here" is what a bar manager might say to his last remaining customers at closing time. "In the old days, the cry in the…
“You hate your job? There’s a support group that meets at the bar”
American actor and comedian Drew Carey is credited with the line: "Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and…
“You have to hand it to Subway for convincing us it’s acceptable to eat an entire loaf of bread for lunch”
Many people who order a sub at Subway feel like they're eating a whole loaf of bread in one sitting. "'Ha! And you thought you couldn't eat an entire loaf of bread.' - me…
“You know a restaurant is fancy when instead of bringing the bill, they bring the William”
A joke has it that a fancy restaurant doesn't give you a "bill," it gives you a "william." "At the end of meals in formal restaurants remember to ask for the William.…
“You know the food is expensive when the restaurant menu has no dollar signs”
Many expensive restaurants don't put dollar signs on their menus. This is said to make expensive menu items psychologically easier to order. "If the menu doesn't have dollar signs in…
“You know what rhymes with Friday? Liquor store”
"You know what rhymes with Friday? Alcohol" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. There is no rhyme, of course, but it's the weekend and the speaker no longer…
“You might be Texan if you base your restaurant decisions on its chips and salsa”
Many Texans love the free chips and salsa served at Tex-Mex restaurants. But is this a basis to choose a restaurant? "Don't judge a book by its cover, but always judge a TexMex restaurant…