“Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married” (joke)
A popular Valentine's Day joke is: "Two antennas/antennae/aerials met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent." The…
“Two things to make your day better: 1. Do not watch the news. 2. Stay off the bathroom scales”
Some helpful advice was posted on Facebook by Lisa Harris Tucker on June 26, 2020: "Two things to makeyour day better1. Do not watch the news.2. Stay off the bathroom scales."…
“Typing in your email address on the TV is a different type of irritation”
Many people find it difficult to type using a TV remote, such as entering an email address. "Typing in your email address on the TV is a different type of irritation" was posted on…
“Vegetarian ham radio enthusiasts use a cheese radio”
Ham radio has nothing to do with "ham" (the food), but there are jokes. "Vegetarian ham radio enthusiasts use a cheese radio" was posted on Twitter by Mr Roger Quimbly on July…
“Watch more sunsets than Netflix”
"Watch more sunsets than Netflix" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Many people are addicted to Netflix (video on demand) and don't spend enough time outside.…
“Watching too much television gives you square eyes” (Square-eyed)
The joke when television was new (in the 1950s) was that watching too much television gave viewers "square eyes." Actor and comedian Bob Hope (1903-2003) joked in August 1957, "The…
“We stare at our medium screens all day and then reward ourselves by looking at our big screen while scrolling our tiny screen”
Many people stare at screens all day, both at work and at home. This was posted on X/Twitter by Laurazepam on May 11, 2021, and it received over 38,000 likes: "being an adult is staring at…
“What did the TV do at the beach?”/“Channel surf.”
"Channel surfing" means changing television channels. It is not like water surfing, but a riddle is: Q: What did the TV do at the beach?A: Channel surf. The joke has been cited in print…
“What did the TV say to the remote?”/“You turn me on.”
A television riddle is: Q: What did the TV say to the remote?A: You turn me on. The joke was posted to Twitter on August 29, 2009. "What did the remote say to the tv. 'I bet I turn you…
“What did they call the loudest knight of all?”/“Sir Roundsound.”
There are many fanciful names of King Arthur's Knights of the Round Table. "Surround sound" is not one of the knights, but there are puns. "The stereophonic knight: Sir Round…
“What do Lincoln and an ‘80s sitcom have in common?”/“Both were shot before a live audience.”
Television situation comedies are often announced as "shot before a live audience." "@blaudiablogan: Whitney is shot before a live audience. Yeah? So was Lincoln" was posted on…
“What do you call a radio that exercises?”/“Radioactive.”
The word "radioactive" doesn't mean a radio that exercises and goes to the gym, but there are puns. "What do you call a radio that runs a lot?Radioactive" was posted on…
“What has 15 actors, four settings, two writers, and one plot?”/“632 Hallmark movies.”
The Hallmark Channel features family television programming; there are many original movies, with Christmas movies being a popular theme. Many of the movies are similar. A riddle was posted on…
“What kind of TV do you find inside a haunted house?”/“A wide scream TV.”
A Halloween riddle about wide-screen television is: Q: What kind of TV do you find inside a haunted house?A: A wide scream TV. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1998. Google Books3650…
“What New Yorkers Watch” & “As New York As It Gets” (WNYW, Fox 5)
Channel 5 (FOX network) television (WNYW) has the slogan "What New Yorkers Watch." The news program's slogan is "As New York As It Gets." http://www.fox5ny.com/…
“What’s a cat’s favorite button on the TV remote control?”/“Pause.”
A cat riddle has been printed on several images: Q: What's a cat's favorite button on the TV remote control?A: Pause (paws). The "pause"/"paws' pun has been cited in…
“What’s a cow’s favorite TV show?”/“Graze Anatomy.”
Gray's Anatomy is an English written textbook of human anatomy that was originally written by Henry Gray. Grey's Anatomy is an American medical drama television series that premiered on…
“When a TV show has a really good-looking pizza in a scene they should have to tell you, in the credits, where it came from”
When a television show includes a pizza, some people wonder -- what pizza shop did they get that from? This was posted on X/Twitter (the original tweet is no longer available) by Danielle Weisberg…
“When I was your age, I had to walk through 10 feet of shag carpet to change the TV channel”
"When I was your age, I had to walk through 10 feet of shag carpet to change the TV channel" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. “I used to walk five miles to and…
“When someone says, ‘You won’t believe what I saw on the news!’ Correct”
"When someone says, 'You won't believe what I saw on the news!' Correct" is a meme that has been printed on many images. That is, someone thinks that the news has something…