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November 9, 2017
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“A grave twenty-three inches long” (a newspaper column)

American humorist and journalist Don Marquis (1878-1937) was one of New York City's first and most famous of newspaper columnists. He wrote the column "Sun Dial" for The Evening Sun…

July 5, 2021
Food/Drink

“A great way to protect yourself from the sun is drinking wine in the shade”

"A great way to protect yourself from the sun is drinking wine in the shade" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. "A great way to protect yourself from the…

November 18, 2015
Time/Weather

“A green Thanksgiving means a white Christmas”

"A green Thanksgiving means a white Christmas" is a winter adage. If it doesn't snow on Thanksgiving, it will snow on Christmas. If it does snow on Thanksgiving, it will not snow on…

April 5, 2018
Transportation

“A group for cyclists who ignore red lights: ‘Cyclists Unable to Notice Traffic Signals’”

"I'm setting up a help group for bike riders who ignore red lights. Please Feel free to join Cyclists Unable to Notice Traffic Signals #CUNTS" is an anti-cyclist joke that was posted…

April 13, 2023
Sports/Games

“A group of dolphins is called a pod. And a group of falcons is called a cast…” (“podcast”)

"A group of dolphins is called a pod. A group of falcons is called a cast. When the Miami dolphins is playing Atlanta falcons, you are watching a...?" was posted on Twitter by ríck on…

October 22, 2016
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“A group of homophones wok inn two a bar…” (bar joke)

"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A homophone version is: "A group of homophones wok inn two a bar..." "Wok…

May 16, 2018
Education/Schools

“A group of kids is called a migraine”

Do kids give parents and teachers migraine headaches? "A group of kids is called a migraine" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "A flock of kids is called a…

March 24, 2023
Food/Drink

“A grown up silly straw is called a serious straw”

A "crazy straw" or "silly straw" has a number of twists and turns at the top. There is no such thing as a "serious straw," but there are jokes. "I think silly…

August 23, 2020
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“A gun in the hand beats a cop on the phone”

"A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone" is a pro-gun saying that has been printed on many images. The form is similar to the proverb "a bird in the hand is worth two in…

August 23, 2020
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone”

"A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone" is a pro-gun saying that has been printed on many images. The form is similar to the proverb "a bird in the hand is worth two in…

August 23, 2020
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“A gun in the hand is better than two cops on the phone”

"A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone" is a pro-gun saying that has been printed on many images. The form is similar to the proverb "a bird in the hand is worth two in…

August 23, 2020
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“A gun in the hand is worth more than the entire police force on the phone”

"A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone" is a pro-gun saying that has been printed on many images. The form is similar to the proverb "a bird in the hand is worth two in…

August 23, 2020
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“A gun in the hand is worth the entire police force on the phone”

"A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone" is a pro-gun saying that has been printed on many images. The form is similar to the proverb "a bird in the hand is worth two in…

June 19, 2022
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“A gun is like a beer cooler: It should be fully loaded before use and completely empty after”

"A gun is like a beer cooler: It should be fully loaded before use and completely empty after" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "A #gun is like a #beer cooler ... it…

March 18, 2020
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“A guy named Bart walks into a bar…” (bar joke)

"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A Bart/bartender version is: "A guy named Bart walks into a bar, he immediately gets…

September 25, 2020
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“A guy only 3 feet, 3 inches tall showed up at my house. It was the meter man”

A "meter man" checks the gas/water meter. He is not just a meter tall, but there are jokes. "Bloke just knocked on my door, I opened it and he was about 3ft 3"tall. I said…

November 11, 2017
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“A guy walks into a bar and orders fruit punch…” (bar joke)

"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A fruit punch version is: "A guy walks into a bar and orders fruit punch. The…

August 25, 2015
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“A guy walks into a bar with an octopus…” (bar joke)

"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." "A guy walks into a bar with an octopus..." is a popular off-color bar joke that…

October 18, 2013
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“A guy walks into a bar with his pet alligator…” (bar joke)

There is a combination bar joke and lawyer joke. The "Do you serve lawyers here?" joke has been cited in print since at least 1994 and is of unknown authorship. Google Groups:…

February 9, 2015
Pets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“A guy walks into a bar with his pet dog…” (bar joke)

"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." "A guy walks into a bar with his pet dog" is a popular joke. The dog does flips…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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