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June 3, 2021
Food/Drink

“Dark chocolate is at least 60% coco beans therefore it’s a vegetable”

Dark chocolate contains cocoa solids and cocoa butter, so many people insist that it's basically a bean -- and that it should be considered a fruit or a vegetable. The argument is made mostly…

April 17, 2024
Food/Drink

“Date someone who drinks with you instead of complaining that you drink”

"date someone who drinks with you instead of complaining that you drink" was posted on X/Twitter by NihongoSOS on January 12, 2017. "Date someone who drinks with you instead of…

July 10, 2025
Food/Drink

“Dawn commercials be washing everything BUT dishes. I do not have no damn greasy duck”

"How does Dawn dish soap clean oil off a duck but not a spaghetti bowl?" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Many Dawn advertisements show that the product cleans oil that…

July 10, 2025
Food/Drink

“Dawn soap commercials show everything but washing dishes. I ain’t got no ducks”

"How does Dawn dish soap clean oil off a duck but not a spaghetti bowl?" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Many Dawn advertisements show that the product cleans oil that…

December 5, 2025
Food/Drink

“Day 12 without alcohol: I lost hearing in my left eye”

"Day [X{ without {Y}: Lost hearing in my left/right eye" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Eyes don't help hearing, of course. The joke is that without coffee…

December 5, 2025
Food/Drink

“Day 12 without chocolate: Lost hearing in my left eye”

"Day [X{ without {Y}: Lost hearing in my left/right eye" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Eyes don't help hearing, of course. The joke is that without coffee…

December 5, 2025
Food/Drink

“Day 12 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye”

"Day [X{ without {Y}: Lost hearing in my left/right eye" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Eyes don't help hearing, of course. The joke is that without coffee…

December 5, 2025
Food/Drink

“Day 13 without soda: I have now lost hearing in my right eye”

"Day [X{ without {Y}: Lost hearing in my left/right eye" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Eyes don't help hearing, of course. The joke is that without coffee…

December 5, 2025
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“Day 187 without sex: losing hearing in my left eye”

"Day [X{ without {Y}: Lost hearing in my left/right eye" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Eyes don't help hearing, of course. The joke is that without coffee…

April 22, 2020
Food/Drink

“Day 27: The garbage man stuck a pamphlet for AA on my recycling bin”

The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic saw many states deem liquor stores to be essential businesses. Some people drank a lot. "Day 27: The garbage man stuck a pamphlet for AA on my recycling bin.…

April 15, 2020
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“Day 35 of quarantine; Can you blink a little more quietly please?”

The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many people to stay at home in quarantine. Many family members got on each other's nerves. "Day 35 of the quarantine...Can you blink a little…

May 29, 2020
Education/Schools

“Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat”

The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in school closures and homeschooling. "Homeschooling day 3: The Principal called in a bomb threat" was posted on Twitter by PoppaDoo on March…

May 29, 2020
Education/Schools

“Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little shits called in a bomb threat”

The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in school closures and homeschooling. "Homeschooling day 3: The Principal called in a bomb threat" was posted on Twitter by PoppaDoo on March…

March 25, 2020
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“Day 6 of quarantine. Preparing to take out the garbage. So excited can’t decide what to wear”

The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many people to be quarantined in their homes. People would, however, leave the home briefly to take out the garbage. "'I got so excited about…

June 9, 2020
Buildings/Housing/ParksPets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“Day 7 at home and the dog is looking at me like, ‘See? This is why I chew the furniture’”

The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in home quarantines. People became more understanding of dogs. "End of Day 2 on lockdown and the dog is looking at me like 'SEE? This is why I…

December 5, 2025
Food/Drink

“Day 8 without tacos: I lost hearing in my right eye”

"Day [X{ without {Y}: Lost hearing in my left/right eye" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Eyes don't help hearing, of course. The joke is that without coffee…

February 23, 2015
Education/Schools

“Day school tuition is the best form of birth control” (joke)

Many Jewish parents try to sent their children to a yeshiva (Jewish day school), but tuition is expensive. A popular joke in the Orthodox community is that day school tuition is the best form of…

March 13, 2023
Time/Weather

“Daylight didn’t ask to be saved. Daylight didn’t want to be saved”

There is daylight saving time (DST), but no one asked daylight its feelings in the matter. "What if the daylight didn't want to be saved?" was posted on Twitter by Jackie M. Briski…

March 9, 2025
Time/Weather

“Daylight Savings is a fake holiday invented by Big Daylight to sell more daylight”

Many holidays are highly commercialized -- from Valentine's Day to Halloween to Christmas. What about Daylight Saving Time? "'Daylight Savings' is just a holiday made up by the…

March 9, 2025
Time/Weather

“Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight”

Many holidays are highly commercialized -- from Valentine's Day to Halloween to Christmas. What about Daylight Saving Time? "'Daylight Savings' is just a holiday made up by the…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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