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September 20, 2017
Education/Schools

“What do you call a pirate who skips class?”/“Captain Hooky.”

A pirate riddle is: Q: What do you call a pirate who skips class?A: Captain Hooky. "Captain Hooky" is a blend of "Captain Hook" and "hooky." The joke has been cited in…

September 5, 2022
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“What do you call a pizza place run only by nonbinary people?”/“Little Ze/Zirs.”

Little Caesars is an American multi-national pizza chain. The gender neutral pronouns "Ze/Zir" are sometimes used to make a joke. "ze / zirs as in little caesars pizza ? is that…

March 27, 2022
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“What do you call a place where brass musicians hang out and drink?”/“HornPub.”

Pornhub is a Canadian-owned internet pornography website. There is no HornPub, but there are jokes. "I'm launching a brass instrument sex fetish site soon. I call it HornPub" was…

December 3, 2021
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“What do you call a place where marijuana is legal, but alcohol isn’t?”/“High and dry.”

"What do you call a place where marijuana is legal but alcohol isn't? High and dry" was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on March 1, 2020. "What do you call a place where marijuana is…

May 26, 2022
Food/Drink

“What do you call a plant-eating Viking?”/“A Norvegan.”

"Norvegan" (Norwegian + vegan) is a jocular term. "Q: What do you call a Norwegian that doesn't kill baby seals nor whales? A: A Norvegan! AHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" was posted on…

July 12, 2017
Food/Drink

“What do you call a polite cheesemaker?”/“Curdeous.”

The word "courteous" doesn't contain any curds, but a pun was posted on Reddit -- Dad Jokes on July 8, 2016: Q: What do you call a polite cheesemaker?A: Curdeous. Reddit -- Dad Jokes…

April 10, 2019
Work/Businesses

“What do you call a polite man who builds bridges?”/“A civil engineer.”

A "civil engineer" isn't necessarily polite, but there are jokes. "What do you call a really nice person who builds bridges? A civil engineer" was posted on twitter by…

February 25, 2023
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“What do you call a politician with half a brain?”/“Gifted.”

A politician riddle is: Q: What do you call a politician with half a brain?A: Gifted. The riddle was cited in the Boston (MA) Herald American on March 28, 1981. "What do you call a politician…

February 25, 2023
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“What do you call a politician with half a brain?”/“JFK.”

A politician riddle is: Q: What do you call a politician with half a brain?A: Gifted. The riddle was cited in the Boston (MA) Herald American on March 28, 1981. "What do you call a politician…

February 24, 2021
Hotels

“What do you call a potato in a hotel room?”/“A suite potato.”

"Sweet potato" shouldn't be confused with "suite potato," but there are jokes. "Q. What kind of potato rents more than one room in a hotel? A. A suite potato" was…

January 13, 2021
Food/Drink

“What do you call a potato that is reluctant to jump into boiling water?”/“A hesitater.”

Potatoes are called "taters." There are many "hesitator" -- or "hesitater" -- puns. "What do you call a potato that takes it's time?? A hesitater...…

February 24, 2021
Food/DrinkMedia/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“What do you call a potato that makes videos?”/“A YouTUBER.”

Potatoes and yams are "tubers." They are not "YouTubers," but there are jokes. "What do you call a potato that makes videos? A YouTUBER" was posted on Twitter by…

February 24, 2021
Food/DrinkMedia/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“What do you call a potato that uploads videos?”/“A YouTuber.”

Potatoes and yams are "tubers." They are not "YouTubers," but there are jokes. "What do you call a potato that makes videos? A YouTUBER" was posted on Twitter by…

June 16, 2016
Food/Drink

“What do you call a potato with glasses?”/“A spectator.”

The potato has a few “-tater” jokes, such as: Q: What do you call a potato with glasses?"A: A spectator. "What do you call a couch potato? A spec-tater!!" was cited in the…

August 26, 2017
Transportation

“What do you call a pretend railway?”/“A play station.”

A riddle about PlayStation is: Q: What do you call a pretend railway?A: A play station. The joke was posted on the newsgroup alt.humor.puns on March 2, 2004. Wikipedia: PlayStationPlayStation…

September 2, 2017
Sports/Games

“What do you call a pretend railway?”/“A play station.”

A riddle about PlayStation is: Q: What do you call a pretend railway?A: A play station. The joke was posted on the newsgroup alt.humor.puns on March 2, 2004. Wikipedia: PlayStationPlayStation…

February 22, 2017
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“What do you call a priest who becomes a lawyer?”/“A father in law.”

A clean lawyer joke is: Q: What do you call a priest who becomes a lawyer?A: A father in law. The joke ws posted on Reddit -- Jokes on March 25, 2013. Reddit -- Jokeswhat do you call a priest who…

January 13, 2022
Food/Drink

“What do you call a quesadilla that gives you upset stomach?”/“A quesadiarrhea (case of diarrhea).”

Quesadiarrhea (quesadilla + diarrhea; "case of diarrhea") is not a food served at Taco Bell restaurants, but there are jokes. "Better than a quesadiarrhea" was posted on Twitter…

March 3, 2018
Radio/Television

“What do you call a radio that exercises?”/“Radioactive.”

The word "radioactive" doesn't mean a radio that exercises and goes to the gym, but there are puns. "What do you call a radio that runs a lot?Radioactive" was posted on…

March 4, 2018
Exercise/Running/Health Clubs

“What do you call a radio that exercises?”/“Radioactive.”

The word "radioactive" doesn't mean a radio that exercises and goes to the gym, but there are puns. "What do you call a radio that runs a lot?Radioactive" was posted on…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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