“What disease did ‘cured ham’ actually have?” (joke)
"What disease did 'cured ham' actually have?" is a one-liner listed in many joke collections. A ham is "cured" with salt and nitrates to prevent the growth of…
“What do a lawyer and a sperm cell have in common?” (lawyer joke)
A popular joke has been told about lawyers since at least 1993: Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a sperm?A; A sperm has a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.…
“What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don’t?”/“Depreciation.”
An accountant riddle is: Q: What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't?A: Depreciation. The joke was posted on the newsgroup uw.acct.acc131 on November 24, 1997. Google Groups:…
“What do astronauts use to stay warm?”/“A space heater.”
A "space heater" doesn't involve astronauts and outer space, but there are jokes. "Hey, what do astronauts use when they get cold? A space heater! (Sorry sorry. Sorry.)"…
“What do baby mathematicians drink?”/“Formula.”
A math riddle was posted on Twitter by Chad Topaz on October 6, 2020: Q: What do baby mathematicians drink?A: Formula. “What do you feed a baby parabola?"/"Quadratic formula" is an…
“What do birds give out on Halloween?”/“Tweets.”
"Tweets" is how Elmer Fudd (the cartoon archenemy of Bugs Bunny, whom he calls a "wabbit") might pronounce the word "treats." There are several "trick or…
“What do birds give to trick-or-treaters?”/“Tweets.”
"Tweets" is how Elmer Fudd (the cartoon archenemy of Bugs Bunny, whom he calls a "wabbit") might pronounce the word "treats." There are several "trick or…
“What do birds say on Halloween?”/“Trick or tweet.”
"Tweets" is how Elmer Fudd (the cartoon archenemy of Bugs Bunny, whom he calls a "wabbit") might pronounce the word "treats." There are several "trick or…
“What do birds say on Halloween?”/“Twick or tweet.”
"Tweets" is how Elmer Fudd (the cartoon archenemy of Bugs Bunny, whom he calls a "wabbit") might pronounce the word "treats." There are several "trick or…
“What do calendars eat?”/“Dates.”
A calendar riddle is: Q: What do calendars eat?A: Dates. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 2010. TwitterVidhi Agrawal@n0m_nomWhat do you calendars eat? DATES12:11 AM · Feb 15,…
“What do call something that is average at making egg whites?”/“A medi-yolker.”
"Medi-yolker" sounds like an egg version of the word "mediocre." "These eggs are medi-yolker at but omelet it slide for now because I am hungry" was posted on Twitter…
“What do camels eat to help them fall asleep?”/“Camel meals.”
"Chamomile" tea sounds like "camel meal." "Enjoying some Camel-meal tea (lol)" was posted on Twitter by "centralian shop" on May 9, 2009. "hahaha did…
“What do Canadians say when they see a large amount of coffee?”/“That’s a lot, eh.”
A Canadian saying "a lot, eh" can sound like "a latte." "Ordering mass quantities of coffee must be hard for Canadians: 'Could I get a lot, eh?'" was posted…
“What do cannibals eat for breakfast?”/“Buttered host.”
A cannibal breakfast riddle is: Q: What do cannibals have for breakfast?A: Buttered host. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1992. Google Groups: rec.humorCannibal jokes! Was: Re: Can…
“What do cannibals eat to freshen their breath?”/“Men toes.”
A riddle about Mentos (scotch mints) is: Q: What do cannibals eat to freshen their breath?A: Men toes. The joke has been cited in print since 2014 and is of unknown authorship. Wikipedia:…
“What do cannibals put in their soup?”/“Ramen.”
"Ramen" noodles sounds like "raw men." A cannibal joke was posted on Twitter on June 30, 2011: Q: What do Asian cannibals eat??A: Ramen. Soup is often included in the joke.…
“What do cars do at the disco?”/“Brake dance.”
"Breakdancing" shouldn't be confused with "brake dancing," but there is a riddle: Q: What do cars do at the disco?A: Brake dance. The pun has been cited in print since at…
“What do cars put on their toast?”/“Traffic jam.”
A car riddle was printed in the Los Angeles (CA) Times on May 9, 2006: Q: What does a car put on its toast? A: Traffic jam. "What do cars put on their toast? Traffic jam #BestJokeEver"…
“What do cat actors say on stage?”/“Tabby or not tabby!”
A cat riddle is: Q: What do cat actors say on stageA: "Tabby or not tabby!" This joke -- a parody of the "To be, or not to be" line from William Shakespeare's Hamlet -- has…
“What do cats read in the morning?”/“Mewspapers.”
A cat riddle is: Q: What do cats read in the morning?A: Mewspapers. The newspaper joke has been cited in print since at least 1984. Google BooksThe Kids' Cat BookBy Laima Dingwall and Annabel…