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June 9, 2020
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“Are you an N95 mask? Cause I want you on my face” (pickup line)

The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in some requirements to wear face masks. "Are you my face mask? because i want you on my face" was posted on Twitter by illmiora, the…

October 4, 2018
Food/Drink

“Are you chewing gum?”/“Do I look like chewing gum to you?”

A chewing gum joke is: Teacher: Are you chewing gum?Student: Do I look like chewing gum to you? "Are you chewing gum? Do I look like chewing gum" was posted on Twitter by OLD ACCOUNT on…

April 10, 2019
Food/Drink

“Are you coffee because I’ve bean thinking about you a latte”

"I've bean thinking about you a latte" is a jocular coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "I've bean thinking about you a latte" was posted on Twitter by…

November 18, 2013
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“Are you free tonight or will it cost me?” (pick-up line)

"Are you free tonight or will it cost me?" is a jocular example of a terrible pick-up line. "Are you free tonight?" is a pun on "Are you available tonight?" and…

May 15, 2021
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“Are you from Harvard and can’t count, or from MIT and can’t read?” (supermarket checkout joke)

Many supermarkets have a checkout for "10 items or less" or "12 items or less." A person with more items who goes to that checkout either can't read or can't count --…

January 2, 2026
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“Are you http? Because I’m :// without you”

"http://" and "https://" start many internet addresses. "HTTP" is Hypertext Transfer Protocol and "HTTPS" is "Hypertext Transfer Protocol Secure."…

January 2, 2026
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“Are you http? Because without you I’m just ://”

"http://" and "https://" start many internet addresses. "HTTP" is Hypertext Transfer Protocol and "HTTPS" is "Hypertext Transfer Protocol Secure."…

January 2, 2026
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“Are you https? Because I’m :// without you”

"http://" and "https://" start many internet addresses. "HTTP" is Hypertext Transfer Protocol and "HTTPS" is "Hypertext Transfer Protocol Secure."…

January 2, 2026
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“Are you https? Because without you I’m just ://”

"http://" and "https://" start many internet addresses. "HTTP" is Hypertext Transfer Protocol and "HTTPS" is "Hypertext Transfer Protocol Secure."…

December 30, 2025
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“Are you https? Cause I’m :/ without you”

"http://" and "https://" start many internet addresses. "HTTP" is Hypertext Transfer Protocol and "HTTPS" is "Hypertext Transfer Protocol Secure."…

December 15, 2019
Holidays/Events/Parades

“Are you putting the Christmas tree up yourself?”/“No, I’m going to put it up in the living room!”

A somewhat NSFW Christmas tree joke was posted on Twitter by Andy L Smith on December 18, 2009: "I bought a Christmas tree today The girl in the shop asked if I was going to put it up myself I…

August 14, 2019
Music/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus

“Are you ready to rock…paper, scissors?”

Rock music has nothing to do with the game of "rock-paper-scissors," but there are jokes. "Are You Ready To Rock…Paper, Scissors?" was posted on the blog sink or schwim. on…

September 29, 2013
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“Are you supposed to tip the waiters here?” (joke)

An old joke involves tipping the waiter (the server) or the waiter (a person who waits). The joke has been cited in print since at least 1911: Customer -- Is it usual to tip the waiters here?Waiter…

June 5, 2017
Radio/Television

“Are you watching too much TV, but not doing enough reading? Turn your subtitles on. Problem solved”

"Are you watching too much T.V but not doing enough reading? Turn your subtitles on" is a jocular one-line saying about television. The saying was posted on Twitter by "Not Zach…

October 21, 2021
Work/Businesses

“Area 51 is where they keep all of the Walmart cashiers”

Walmart (an American multinational retail corporation) has been compared to Area 51 (a highly classified United States Air Force facility, often associated with UFOs). "I think area 51 is…

October 5, 2017
Education/Schools

“Aren’t all books text books?”

Students read from textbooks, but why call them "text" books? Don't all books -- except picture books and blank books -- have text? "All this news about Texas text books got me…

November 7, 2020
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“Aren’t you supposed to call a doctor if your election lasts this long?”

Men using a product such as Viagra are often warned about priapism -- that those with an erection lasting longer than four hours should see a doctor. This "erection" advice has been used…

January 17, 2018
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“Arguing on the internet is like competing in the Special Olympics…”

The Special Olympics is a sports organization for children and adults with intellectual disabilities. A politically incorrect meme uses "Special Olympics" to define a meaningless victory.…

January 17, 2018
Sports/Games

“Arguing on the internet is like running in the Special Olympics…”

The Special Olympics is a sports organization for children and adults with intellectual disabilities. A politically incorrect meme uses "Special Olympics" to define a meaningless victory.…

May 16, 2024
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“Arguing that you don’t care about the right to privacy because you have nothing to hide is no different than…”

"Arguing that you don't care about the right to privacy because you have nothing to hide is no different than saying you don't care about free speech because you have nothing to…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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