“An insect landed on my soft French cheese, briefly”
The word "briefly" is not composed of the words "brie" (a soft French cheese) and "fly (an insect), but there are jokes. "I wonder what would happen if you put an…
“An intellectual is a man who takes more words than necessary to tell more than he knows”
President Dwight David "Ike" Eisenhower (1890-1969) was campaigning for re-election in 1954 against Adlai Stevenson II (1900-1965), his Democratic challenger and a perceived intellectual…
“An investment banker has good news and bad news” (joke)
A popular financial joke reveals something about the industry. An investment banker addresses his colleagues and says, "I've got good news and bad news. The bad news is that we've…
“An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest”
Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) is often credited with the following quotation about education: "If a man empties his purse into his head no one can take it away from him. An investment in…
“An investment portfolio is like a bar of soap; the more you touch it, the smaller it gets”
"An investment portfolio is like a bar of soap: The more you touch/handle it, the smaller it gets" is an investment adage. The saying has been cited in print since at least 1995. 7…
“An Irishman can argue either side of a question, often at the same time”
"An Irishman can argue either side of a question, often at the same time" is a jocular one-line saying that has been credited to Los Angeles (CA) Times sportswriter Jim Murray…
“An Irishman walks out of a bar” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." "An Irishman walks out of a bar" is a joke about a joke, or a…
“An IT guru walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." There are several "progress bar" joke versions. "An IT guru walks into a bar…
“An Italian restaurant served pasta cooked out of the eighth circle of hell. It was al Dante”
"Al dente" cooking should not be written as "al Dante" (as in Dante's Inferno), but there are jokes. "How to cook al-dante pasta?" was posted on the newsgroup…
“An NBA player won’t judge you for playing ball…”
"An athlete won't judge you for working out. A millionaire won't judge you for starting a business. A musician won't judge you for trying to sing a song. It's always the…
“An odd day. Found a hat full of money, then got chased by a guy with a guitar”
Many musicians play in the streets and the subway, and leave a hat out for donations. "Found a hat full of money on the sidewalk. But for some reason some angry man started chasing me with a…
“An old lady at the Indian restaurant said, ‘Aren’t you polite!’ It was my complimentary nan”
"Complementary naan" (free bread given out at an Indian restaurant) shouldn't be confused with "complimentary nan," but there are jokes. This was posted on Twitter by Ira…
“An old timer once told me, ‘Make sure your work boots and your bed are comfortable because that’s all you’ll ever be in’”
"Make sure your work boots and your bed are comfortable because that’s all you’ll ever be in" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Get yourself a good pair of work…
“An omelet is just an egg quesadilla”
An omelette has been compared to an egg quesadilla. "Omelets are just egg quesadillas" was posted on Twitter by Dolph Buttermaker on December 2, 2012. "Omelettes are just egg…
“An omelette is just an egg quesadilla”
An omelette has been compared to an egg quesadilla. "Omelets are just egg quesadillas" was posted on Twitter by Dolph Buttermaker on December 2, 2012. "Omelettes are just egg…
“An onion will make you cry, but they never have invented a vegetable that will make you laugh”
What's harder -- to make an audience laugh or to make them cry? The classic answer is that comedy is harder because even an onion can make someone cry, but there is no vegetable that can make…
“An onion will make you cry, but they never have invented a vegetable that will make you laugh”
What's harder -- to make an audience laugh or to make them cry? The classic answer is that comedy is harder because even an onion can make someone cry, but there is no vegetable that can make…
“An opinion without 3.14 is just an onion”
"An opinion without 3.14 is (just) an onion" is a math joke that has been printed on many images. The word "opinion" has "pi" in it. "'An OPINION without…
“An optimist is a person who has no trouble seeing the bright side of your problems”
"An optimist is a person who has no trouble seeing the bright side of your problems" was printed in the Green Bay (WI) Press-Gazette on June 25, 1983, by American humor columnist Doug…
“An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day”
Chicago (IL) Sun-Times columnist Irv Kupcinet (1912-2003) is often credited with this seasonal quotation, from Kup's Column: "An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving…