“Almond milk coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle”
"Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle" -- that is, it's useless -- is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown.…
“Almond milk is for baby almonds”
If cow's milk is for baby cows and human milk is for human babies, is almond milk for baby almonds? "almond milk? isnt that for baby almonds ;)" was posted on Twitter by Saint…
“Almonds are a scam. They are wood. You are eating wood”
Not everyone likes the taste of almonds. "almonds are a scam. they are wood. you are eating wood" was posted on X/Twitter by Sapper Baby on April 30, 2025, and this received over 219,000…
“Almonds are good for when I want to have a healthy snack and want to stop having twelve dollars”
Almonds are a healthy snack, but they are expensive. A joke was posted on Twitter by Simon Holland on May 23, 2016: "Almonds are good for when I want to have a healthy snack and want to stop…
“Almonds taste like antique wood and I’m convinced people just pretend to like them”
Not everyone likes the taste of almonds. "almonds are a scam. they are wood. you are eating wood" was posted on X/Twitter by Sapper Baby on April 30, 2025, and this received over 219,000…
“Almonds taste like wood”
Not everyone likes the taste of almonds. "almonds are a scam. they are wood. you are eating wood" was posted on X/Twitter by Sapper Baby on April 30, 2025, and this received over 219,000…
“Almost had an emotional collapse trying to spell hors d’oeuvres”
Many people find it difficult to spell "hors d'oeuvres." Words such as "tapas" and "appetizers" and "snacks" have been used instead. "I think white…
“Almost passed out trying to spell ‘hors d’oeuvre’”
Many people find it difficult to spell "hors d'oeuvres." Words such as "tapas" and "appetizers" and "snacks" have been used instead. "I think white…
“Aloe Vera is cockney for Hello, Vera”
"Aloe vera" (a plant species) can sound like "Hello, Vera" (or "Allo, Vera"), and there are jokes. "hehehe... english speaking people saying Aloë Vera... sounds…
“Aloe Vera is how the French greet Vera”
"Aloe vera" (a plant species) can sound like "Hello, Vera" (or "Allo, Vera"), and there are jokes. "hehehe... english speaking people saying Aloë Vera... sounds…
“Alpha, Delta and Omicron walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A version with COVID-19 (coronavirus) variants is: "Alpha, Delta, and Omicron walk…
“Alphabet soup? More like Times New Ramen, am I right?”
Times New Roman is a popular serif typeface that was originally used on The Times newspaper in London in 1931. Times New Ramen is a joke font of ramen noodles. The font was illustrated on flickr in…
“Alphabet spaghetti on toast is delicious. Spread the word”
Alphabet pasta (called "alphabet spaghetti" in the UK) has had a few puns. "Instead of alphabet spaghetti they should make alphabet butter. Spread the word" was posted on…
“Alternative medicine that works is called medicine”
"Alternative medicine that works is called medicine" is a medical saying of uncertain origin. "If any 'alternative therapy' ever cured cancer it would be called…
“Although COVID-19 spreads mostly via the mouth and nose, scientists now conclude…”
"Although COVID-19 spreads mostly via the mouth and nose, scientists now conclude the greatest risk comes from assholes" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The…
“Although Jesus was known as a Carpenter, he never actually sang on any of the albums”
Jesus was a carpenter, but he was not a member of the American vocal and instrumental duo The Carpenters. "RT @Satans_Thong: They say Jesus was a carpenter. I can't recall him singing on…
“Always answer the door with your coat on. If it’s someone you like, you can tell them you just got home….”
"Always answer the door with your coat on. If it's someone you like, you can tell them you just got home. If it's someone you don't like, you can tell them you were just…
“Always ask for a receipt because you never know when you’ll need an alibi”
Many people ask for a receipt for tax purposes. A receipt is also useful to show a spouse where one has been. "Always ask for a receipt, you never know when you may need an alibi" was…
“Always ask for a receipt. You may need an alibi”
Many people ask for a receipt for tax purposes. A receipt is also useful to show a spouse where one has been. "Always ask for a receipt, you never know when you may need an alibi" was…
“Always Be Clicking” (“ABC” of the Internet)
"Always Be Clicking" (the "ABC" of the Internet) is a similar expression to "Always Be Closing" (the "ABC" of selling). "Always Be Clicking" was…