“If women ruled the world, there would be no wars…”
"If women ruled the world, there would be no wars" is an old saying that may or may not be true. "If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries…
“If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?”
"If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?" is a jocular one-liner that has been printed on GIFs. Leonard Lyons (1906-1976) wrote in his syndicated "The Lyons…
“If work isn’t fun, you’re not playing on the right team”
"If work isn’t fun, you’re not playing on the right team" is a saying that has been printed on many images. American author Frank Sonnenberg wrote the saying in his book (co-authored…
“If work was so good, the rich would have kept more of it for themselves”
Haitian writer Jacques Roumain (1907-1944) wrote in Gouverneurs de la Rosée (1944), translated as Masters of the Dew (1947): "If work was such a good thing, the rich would have grabbed it all…
“If you abbreviate in sign language, is it called short hand?”
"Are abbreviations in sign language called 'shorthand'?" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by J. W. Sullivan on September 17, 2011. "If you abbreviate in sign language,…
“If you ain’t makin’ waves, you ain’t kickin’ hard enough”
"If you aren't making waves, you aren't kicking hard enough" ("If you ain't makin' waves, you ain't kickin' hard enough") is a motivational saying…
“If you allow liars and thieves to make decisions for you, don’t be surprised when they make bad decisions for you”
"If you allow liars and thieves to make decisions for you, then you shouldn't be surprised when they make bad decisions for you" (shown on an image) was posted on Facebook by Being…
“If you allow liars and thieves to make decisions for you, then you shouldn’t be surprised when they make bad decisions for you”
"If you allow liars and thieves to make decisions for you, then you shouldn't be surprised when they make bad decisions for you" (shown on an image) was posted on Facebook by Being…
“If you are a gardener, you can always put ‘Plant Manager’ on your resume”
"If you are a gardener, you can always put/write 'Plant Manager' on your resume" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "If you're a gardener, you…
“If you are a gardener, you can always write ‘Plant Manager’ on your resume”
"If you are a gardener, you can always put/write 'Plant Manager' on your resume" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "If you're a gardener, you…
“If you are a supervisor at a soup kitchen, does that make you a soupervisor?”
"Soupervisor" (soup + supervisor) is a portmanteau that has been used since at least the 1960s. The poem 'THE SOUPervisor" was printed in the Fort Lauderdale (FL) News on July…
“If you are afraid to speak out against tyranny, you are already a slave”
"If you are afraid to speak out against tyranny, you are already a slave" is a sayin that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown. "If you are afraid to speak out…
“If you are an ocean, be an ocean. Don’t be a pond just because people can’t swim”
"If you are an ocean, be an ocean. Don’t be a pond just because people can’t swim" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying means that if you're great, be…
“If you are cold, they are cold. Bring your husbands inside”
“If you’re cold, they’re cold. Bring them inside" is a saying about pets that has been printed on many images. Some photos joke on the saying with non-pets, by showing an alligator or a…
“If you are cold, they are cold. Bring your pets inside”
“If you’re cold, they’re cold. Bring them inside" is a saying about pets that has been printed on many images. Some photos joke on the saying with non-pets, by showing an alligator or a…
“If you are color blind, Twister is a mother fucking free for all”
Twister is a game that involves colored circles, where people place hands and feet. "If you are color blind, Twister is a mother fucking free for all" was posted on Twitter by Ben…
“If you are ever feeling like you’re getting a cold, remember queso counts as soup”
Chile con queso is often served as an appetizer at Tex-Mex restaurants, used as a dip for tortilla chips. There is such a thing as queso soup, but this queso is a dip and not a soup. Some people…
“If you are ever lost in the woods, look for the North Star. Its twinkling will comfort you as you die”
"If you are ever lost in the woods, look for the North Star. Its twinkling will comfort you as you die" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The first sentence…
“If you are going to tell a lie, tell a big one” (the big lie)
The expression "the big lie" was popularized by Adolf Hitler's book Mein Kampf (1925), published in an abridged English edition in the fall of 1933 and in a more complete English…
“If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country”
"If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country" is a joke featured in many sports and exercise joke lists, often incorrectly attributed to comedian Steven…