“A really bad impressionist walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." An impressionist version is: "A really bad impressionist walks into a bar. The…
“A really big shew” (The Ed Sullivan Show)
American television personality Ed Sullivan (1901-1974) hosted The Ed Sullivan Show (a variety entertainment television program) from 1949 to 1974. Sullivan introduced it as the "big…
“A really good friend of mine is in hospital after eating a bacon sandwich. It was mine”
"My mate’s in hospital after eating a bacon sandwich. It was mine!" is a joke that was posted on X/Twitter by Nigel on September 9, 2024. "A really good friend of mine is in…
“A recent survey has said that 29% of owners sleep with their pets on the bed. I tried it once, fucking goldfish died”
Should pets be allowed in bed? This joke was posted on Facebook by John Booth (and others) on October 10, 2021: "Thanks to the people that said its fine to allow your pets to sleep on your…
“A recession is when your neighbor loses his job; a depression is when you lose your job”
One definition of recession and depression was a favorite of presidents Harry S. Truman and Ronald Reagan. "A recession is when your neighbor loses his job; a depression is when you lose…
“A recipe is a story that ends with a good meal”
"A recipe is a story that ends with a good meal" is a food saying that has been printed on many images. The quotation is from American author Pat Conroy (1945-2016), who wrote in The Pat…
“A reckless driver is one who passes you, in spite of all you can do”
"A reckless driver is one who passes you, in spite of all you can do" is a jocular one-line saying that has been cited in print since January 1924. The saying was printed in a syndicated…
“A rectangular prism walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A prism version is: "A rectangular prism walks into a bar and the bartender asks,…
“A refrigerator is a place to store leftovers until they are old enough to throw out”
"A refrigerator is a place where you store leftovers until they are ready to be thrown out" is an old comic observation. A newspaper comic caption on September 8, 1954 was: "Our…
“A reindeer walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." One of the oldest and most popular of bar jokes is: A reindeer walked into a bar and…
“A relationship without trust is like having a phone with no service. You play games”
"A relationship without trust is like having a phone with no service, and what do you do with a phone with no service? You play games!" is a saying that has been printed on many images.…
“A restaurant for young cows is a calfé” (calf + café)
"Calfé" (calf + café) is an infrequently used portmanteau word. "Where do cows go for a nice lunch? The Golden Calfe!" was posted on Twitter on September 14, 2012. "A…
“A rib a day keeps the vegans away”
"An apple a day keeps the doctor away" is a famous saying. Several sayings expressing what keeps vegans away have been printed on several images. "A rib a day keeps the vegans…
“A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money”
"A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money" means that people are the same; having more or less money doesn't make one a better person. The saying has been frequently…
“A ring of salt will protect you”
Some people believe in magic circles. "A ring of salt will protect you" (or "A circle of salt will protect you") has been printed on many images. "A ring of salt will…
“A riot is the language of the unheard”
"A riot is the language of the unheard" was said by Martin Luther King Jr. (1929-1968) many times. "A riot is the language of the unheard" was printed in an Associated Press…
“A rising tide lifts all boats” (Wall Street proverb)
In a 1963 speech pledging the continued defense of Europe, President John F. Kennedy stated: "As they say on my own Cape Cod, 'A rising tide lifts all the boats.'" Since at…
“A robot walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A robot version is: "A robot walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says,…
“A rock guitarist plays 3 chords to 3,000 people; a jazz guitarist plays 3,000 chords to 3 people”
"A rock guitarist plays 3 chords to 3,000 people; a jazz guitarist plays 3,000 chords to 3 people" is a popular music joke. "A blues musician plays three chords in front of a…
“A rock in bad hands killed Abel. A rock in good hands killed Goliath. It’s not about the rock”
"A rock in bad hands killed Abel. A rock in good hands killed Goliath. It's definitely not about the rock, folks" is an anti-gun control saying that has been printed on many images.…