“A time traveler walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A time travel version is: "Bartender says 'We don't serve time travelers…
“A time-stretched sinusoid walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A physics version is: "A time-stretched sinusoid walks into a bar. The bartender asks,…
“A tomato is technically a fruit, but it usually identifies as a vegetable. It’s a transplant”
"Transplant" does not mean "trans plant," but there are jokes. "I'm tired of people telling a tomato is a fruit! It might be a fruit, but maybe it self identifies as a…
“A ton of money” (a large amount of money)
"A ton of money" means a lot of money. A "ton" metaphorically means any large amount; a physical ton of dollars is worth $908,000 and a physical ton of pennies is worth $3,632.…
“A topiary expert walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A popular version involving a horse is: "A horse walks into a bar and the barman says,…
“A tortilla chip is just a biodegradable spoon”
Many people use tortilla chips as spoons for salsa and hummus. These chip "spoons" are environmentally friendly. "chips are just biodegradable spoons for home made hummus" was…
“A towel walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A towel version is: "A towel walks into a bar. He orders a drink and says,…
“A town legalized pot, but banned alcohol. The residents were left high and dry”
"What do you call a place where marijuana is legal but alcohol isn't? High and dry" was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on March 1, 2020. "What do you call a place where marijuana is…
“A town so small, people only lock their car doors during the zucchini harvest”
Garrison Keillor is the host of a program on Minnesota Public Radio about a small, fictional town called Lake Wobegon. The town is so small that people lock their car doors only in July during the…
“A town with a lot of park benches is a sity”
"City" has nothing to do with "sit," but there are jokes. "What do you call a town with a lot of benches? A sitty" was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on August 5, 2023.…
“A tradition unlike any other” (The Masters golf tournament)
The Augusta (GA) National Golf Club is home to The Masters golf tournament. The slogan of "A Tradition Unlike Any Other" was trademarked in 2015, with a first use in 1989. CBS television…
“A tragedy is a ship full of bankers sinking. A catastrophe is when they can all swim”
A joke about bankers is: Q: What's the difference between a tragedy and a catastrophe?A: A tragedy is a ship full of bankers going down in a storm. A catastrophe is when they can all swim. The…
“A train is like a moving waiting room”
Various forms of transportation have been described as "a moving waiting room." "Traveling is kind of like sitting in a moving waiting room" was posted on Reddit --…
“A treadmill is basically a hamster wheel for humans”
Treadmills have been compared to hamster wheels. "treadmill = human version of hamster wheel" was posted on Twitter by DJ Chuang Tangerine 莊迪斐 on November 8, 2008. "Treadmills…
“A tree never hits an automobile except in self-defense”
"A tree never hits an automobile...except in self-defense" is a humorous one-line saying that has been printed on several posters. The saying was probably coined by Arnold H. Glasow…
“A truck carrying onions has overturned. Motorists are advised to find a hard shoulder to cry on”
"A truck carrying onions has overturned. Motorists are advised to find a hard shoulder to cry on" is a joke that originated in the United Kingdom. Scottish stand-up comedian and actor…
“A truck full of guitar pedals crashed on I-5. Expect delays”
A pun on guitar delay pedals was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on August 27, 2021: "A truck full of guitar pedals crashed on I-5. Expect delays." “Potato chip truck accident on the…
“A truck full of pepper mills has crashed on the highway. The traffic has ground to a halt”
A pepper mill joke about grinding has a UK version ("lorry") and a US version ("truck"). "A lorry has shed it's load of pepper mills on the M1. Traffic has ground to a…
“A truck full of Vicks VapoRub overturned. Police are saying there will be no congestion for 24hrs.”
A joke about traffic congestion has been cited in print since at least 2008 and has been popular in the United Kingdom and the United States: "A lorry (truck -- ed.) loaded with Vicks VapoRub…
“A truckload of Brillo pads was stolen last night. Police are currently scouring the area”
Brillo is the name of a scouring pad, used for cleaning dishes. "Scouring" means to clean, polish, or wash something by rubbing and scrubbing it vigorously, but it also means to search an…