“I’m giving up Hershey’s chocolates for Lindt”
Many Christians give up chocolate for Lent. "Lent" shouldn't be confused with "Lindt" (a Swiss chocolatier and confectionery company), but there are jokes. "hahaha RT…
“I’m giving up spelling and chocolate for Lindt”
Many Christians give up chocolate for Lent. "Lent" shouldn't be confused with "Lindt" (a Swiss chocolatier and confectionery company), but there are jokes. "hahaha RT…
“I’m glad ‘feta’ isn’t the plural of ‘fetus.’ If it were, I might have to stop eating Greek salads”
"Feta" is a cheese used in Greek salad. The plural of "fetus" is "fetuses" or "feti" -- not "feta." A joke was posted on the newsgroup…
“I’m glad cold season is over so allergy season can finally begin”
For some people, the change from winter to spring means going from cold season to allergy season. "I'm glad cold season is over so allergy season can finally begin/start" is a saying…
“I’m glad cold season is over so allergy season can finally start”
For some people, the change from winter to spring means going from cold season to allergy season. "I'm glad cold season is over so allergy season can finally begin/start" is a saying…
“I’m glad I learned about parallelograms in high school instead of how to do my taxes”
"I'm glad I learned about parallelograms in high school instead of how to do my taxes. It comes in so handy during parallelogram season" is a joke that has been printed on many…
“I’m glad it’s not snowing. I would hate to shovel snow in this heat”
A popular heat joke is of unknown authorship. "I hope it doesn't snow today...I mean, wouldn't you hate to shovel snow in this heat?" was posted on Twitter by Travis Moody on…
“I’m going bananas…is what I say to my bananas before leaving the house”
"Go bananas" is slang for "to lose control" or "to go crazy." There's a joke: "I am going bananas. That's what I say to my bananas before i leave the…
“I’m going off the grid” (said when not taking a phone to the bathroom)
Going "off the grid" means to be without technology, especially communications technology. Many people who didn't take their phones with them to the bathroom have joked about this.…
“I’m going to a notable restaurant tonight. I’m excited, but I don’t know where I’ll put my plate”
There's a difference between a "notable" restaurant and a "no table" restaurant. "I'm going to a notable restaurant tonight. I'm excited, but I don't…
“I’m going to attack you with the neck of a guitar.”/“Is that a fret?”
A guitar joke has been printed on several images: "This bloke said to me: ‘I’m going to attack you with the neck of a guitar.’ I said: ‘Is that a fret?’" "Fret" sounds…
“I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends”
"I'm going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was popular around 2012, when Mayan…
“I’m going to change my Facebook name to Benefits” (joke)
Facebook (an American online social media and social networking service) has "friends," and this is the subject of a popular joke. "Im going to change my Facebook name 2 benefitsThat…
“I’m going to have a quesadilla.”/“Really, a whole case of them?”
A "quesadilla" isn't a "case of dillas," but there are jokes. "Wasn't Homer the guy that turned down the offer of a quesadilla. As I recall he said 'better…
“I’m going to hire the same landscaper I used last year. He was easy to get a lawn with”
"Easy to get a lawn with" sounds like "easy to get along with." "Easy to get a lawn with" was used by a seed company in an advertisement in the New York (NY) Times on…
“I’m going to open a Vietnamese soup/Southern barbeque restaurant and call it Ph? Que”
What would a fusion restaurant serving Vietnamese "pho" and Southern barbecue ("Que" or "Cue" or "Q") be called? "I want to open a Vietnamese BBQ place…
“I’m going to start a ride service for seniors and call it OldsMobile”
Oldsmobile was a brand of American automobiles from 1897 to 2004. The company was named after Ransom E. Olds (1864-1950). The "Oldsmobile" name doesn't mean that it's an…
“I’m going to start collecting highlighters. Mark my words!”
"Mark my words" is an expression meaning that one should remember what the speak is saying. "Mark my words" usually does not involve literally marking words, but there are…
“I’m going to stay up on New Year’s Eve this year. Not to see the new year in…”
During the COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic, people were happy to see years such as 2020 and 2021 end. "I'm going to stay up on New Year's Eve this year. Not to see the new year in,…
“I’m going to the gym now. I’m not bragging, I just want you to know where to send the ambulance”
"I'm going to the gym now. I'm not bragging, I just want you to know where to send the ambulance" is a jocular saying that has been pinted on many images. "@Professor_Ryan:…