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February 8, 2025
Government/Law/Military/Religion /HealthSports/Games

“I think church should be more like football. If the pastor gives a good sermon, dump a cooler of Gatorade on his head!”

A winning coach or player in sports (especially football) often receives a "Gatorade shower." Some people believe that church should have similar enthusiasm. "It's that time of…

February 24, 2020
Food/Drink

“I think every morning that I’m going to make pancakes, but I keep waffling”

"I want to make pancakes, but I keep waffling" -- "waffling" is a joke on "waffles" -- is a jocular saying that has been printed on a sign. "This morning the…

July 27, 2019
Exercise/Running/Health Clubs

“I think everyone should use two deodorants, one under each armpit. That’s just my two scents”

"My two cents" is sometimes jocularly written as "my two scents" (one for each armpit). "I don't think fragrances have to be mutually exclusive - (but that's just…

February 16, 2024
Food/Drink

“I think getting older is when you’d rather day drink than go out all night”

"I think getting older is when you'd rather day drink than go out all night" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I think getting older is when you'd rather…

January 20, 2021
Work/Businesses

“I think I aced my drug test at work yesterday. Nobody got higher than me”

Getting high on a test might be good, but getting high on a drug test might be bad. "I think I aced my drug test at work yesterday. Nobody got higher than me" was posted on Reddit --…

October 27, 2024
Work/Businesses

“I think I need to quit my job to focus on my laundry”

Having a job interferes with many other life tasks, like putting away laundry. "might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry" was posted on X/Twitter by ely kreimendahl…

January 26, 2020
Work/Businesses

“I think I still have some unfinished procrastinating to do from yesterday”

"I think I still have some unfinished procrastinating to do from yesterday" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I think I still have some unfinished…

October 2, 2025
Food/Drink

“I think I’m reaching my ‘Best If Used By’ date”

"I think I’m approaching my 'Best If Used By' date" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. A "Best If Used By" date usually applies to foods, not…

April 4, 2018
Food/Drink

“I think I’ve been eating too much salmon recently. I keep running up down escalators”

If you eat too much salmon, you don't necessarily turn into a salmon and start spawning. This joke was posted on Twitter by Sickipedia Official on December 28, 2013: "I think I've…

October 2, 2025
Food/Drink

“I think I’m approaching my ‘Best If Used By’ date”

"I think I’m approaching my 'Best If Used By' date" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. A "Best If Used By" date usually applies to foods, not…

October 2, 2025
Food/Drink

“I think I’m getting close to my ‘Best If Used By’ date”

"I think I’m approaching my 'Best If Used By' date" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. A "Best If Used By" date usually applies to foods, not…

May 3, 2024
Banking/Finance/InsuranceWork/Businesses

“I think I’m pretty smart until I’m asked to tap to pay for something- here? where? here? do it again? did that work?”

"Tap to Pay" might be a simple system to some, but it confuses others. This was posted on X/Twitter by Mommy Needs A Life on March 5, 2024: "I think I’m pretty smart until I’m…

April 24, 2022
Work/Businesses

“I think it would be great if Walmart added an upper level observation deck with a full bar”

"I think it would be great if Walmart added an upper level observation deck with a full bar" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Walmart is an American multinational retail…

February 14, 2022
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“I think it’s about time we start calling this ‘virus’ by its proper name: #5GFLU”

During the COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic, many people questioned what the coronavirus was. They believed that the coronavirus was essentially the flu, plus the effects of 5G technology. The term…

January 29, 2018
Food/Drink

“I think it’s neat to order whisky, no ice”

A "neat" alcoholic drink is one that is poured straight in the glass -- without ice or anything else. "Know what's neat? no ice" was posted on Twitter on June 12, 2009.…

July 3, 2017
Sports/Games

“I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly”

The game of Monopoly has been published by Parker Brothers -- and only Parker Brothers -- since 1935. A popular joke is: "I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game…

July 15, 2017
Work/Businesses

“I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly”

The game of Monopoly has been published by Parker Brothers -- and only Parker Brothers -- since 1935. A popular joke is: "I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game…

March 17, 2020
Food/Drink

“I think it’s great that people are finally going to drink water, wipe their ass, and wash hands”

The 2019–20 coronavirus outbreak led to panic buying of water and toilet paper, and to constant messages about washing hands. "I think it’s great that people are finally going to drink…

October 17, 2020
Food/Drink

“I think my ‘check liver’ light is going to come on soon”

Cars have a "check engine" light. People do not have a "check liver" light to see if it can handle more alcohol, but there are jokes. "Check liver light" has been…

September 13, 2020
Government/Law/Military/Religion /HealthPets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“I think my cat might be a communist. He won’t shut up about Mao”

Mao Zedong should now be confused with "meow" (what a cat says), but there are jokes. "They fear the cat is a Communist, however, pointing out, 'He's a meow-ist'"…

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About the Website and Editor

BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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