“A member of our school brass band was a dyslexic girl who played the Toblerone!”
"Trombone" (a musical instrument in the brass family) shouldn't be confused with "Toblerone" (a Swiss chocolate brand), but there are jokes. "I am so proud of my…
“A movie ticket for baby should cost at least $50”
Many people can't stand crying babies at the movies. "A movie ticket for baby should cost at least $50" -- that is, an expensive price to discourage parents from taking babies to the…
“A music store was robbed. The robbers made off with the lute”
"Lute" (a musical instrument) shouldn't be confused with "loot" (contraband, plunder), but there are jokes. This joke was printed in the Detroit (MI) Free Press on May 25,…
“A musical comedy must have good legs for a long run”
What would a musical be without its dancers? A saying (of unknown authorship) has been cited in print since at least 1928: "A musical comedy with good legs ought to have a long run." 17…
“A pig’s favorite movie: The Monster That Ate New York”
A popular pig joke us: "A pig's favorite movie: The Monster That Ate New York." The joke has been cited in print since at least 2004. Lighten Up A Little!A pig’s favoriteNOVEMBER…
“A rock guitarist plays 3 chords to 3,000 people; a jazz guitarist plays 3,000 chords to 3 people”
"A rock guitarist plays 3 chords to 3,000 people; a jazz guitarist plays 3,000 chords to 3 people" is a popular music joke. "A blues musician plays three chords in front of a…
“A saxophone is like a lawsuit. Everyone is happy when the case is closed.”
A music joke was posted on the newsgroup wny.events on February 2, 1997: Q: Why is a viola like a lawsuit?A: Everyone is happy when the case is closed. The joke has been told about other…
“A sheep, a drum and a snake fall off a cliff. Ba-Dum-Tss”
The rimshot became famous as a drummer's support of a comedian after a (usually bad or unusually corny) joke. The drum sounds are written as "boom boom" and "ba dum tss."…
“A theater without beer is just a museum”
"A theater without beer is just a museum" is a quotation frequently credited to German playwright and director Bertolt Brecht (1898-1956). The quotation has become popular since 2002 --…
“A thief entered a theatre. He stole the spotlight”
The theatre expression "to steal the spotlight" means to become the focus of attention. For example, a physically attractive actor can steal the spotlight from everyone else. The idiom…
“A tuba player walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A tuba version is: "A tuba player walks into a bar. The dent is $300 to repair."…
“A woman is accused of beating her husband half to death with his guitar collection…” (joke)
A pun about Fender guitars is: "A woman is accused of beating her husband half to death with his guitar collection. 'First offender?' asks the judge. 'No,' says the woman.…
“A writer needs a pen, an artist needs a brush, but a filmmaker needs an army”
"A writer needs a pen, an artist needs a brush, but a filmmaker needs an army" is a saying that has been printed on many images. American actor and director Orson Welles (1915-1985) is…
“Accordion to research, most people will not notice musical instruments appearing within sentences”
"Accordion" sounds somewhat like "according." "Accordion to research, in everyday conversation a musical instrument replacing a word often goes unnoticed" was posted…
“Act before you think” (acting adage)
"Act before you think" (the reverse of the popular saying "think before you act") is an acting adage that has been printed on several images. The saying is credited to acting…
“Acting is behaving truthfully under imaginary circumstances”
"Acting is behaving truthfully under imaginary circumstances" (or "Acting is living truthfully under imaginary circumstances") is a saying that has been printed on many images.…
“Acting is living truthfully under imaginary circumstances”
"Acting is behaving truthfully under imaginary circumstances" (or "Acting is living truthfully under imaginary circumstances") is a saying that has been printed on many images.…
“Acting is reacting” (acting adage)
"Acting is reacting" is an old acting adage. The actor must react to what the other actors say and do, or to the conditions. The saying has been used both on the stage and in movies. The…
“Acting is the ability to dream on cue”
"Acting is the ability to dream on cue" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying is credited to English actor Ralph Richardson (1902-1983), although Richardson usually…
“Actor can read the telephone book” (actor’s saying)
An old saying is that an entertainer is so good or so popular that he or she can "read the telephone book/directory" and the audience will still be satisfied. The saying appeared in print…