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February 15, 2026
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“Don’t block all your haters. Leave one or two so they can report to headquarters”

"Don't block all your haters. Leave one or two so they can report to headquarters (when you're doing great)" is a social media saying that has been printed on many images. That…

May 30, 2018
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“Don’t disturb anyone working on a puzzle or you may hear some cross words”

"Crosswords" should not be confused with "cross words." A joke was posted on Twitter by Pun of the Day on August 31, 2011: "Wordless Wednesday. Don't disturb anyone…

June 7, 2017
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“Don’t fart in an Apple store. They don’t have Windows”

"Don't fart in an Apple store. They don't have Windows" is a computer joke that has been printed on many images. "I just dropped a horrific fart in the Apple Store.…

November 28, 2021
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“Don’t think of yourself as a meme thief. The official title is Social Media Redistribution agent”

Many people share memes on social media -- or is it stealing? "Don't think of yourself as a meme thief. The official title is Social Media Redistribution agent" (shown on an image)…

February 14, 2017
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“Don’t update your status when you’re drunk”

"Never go shopping when you're hungry" is a saying that became popular in the 1970s. "THree rules to live by" were first posted on Twitter on April 17, 2012: 1. Don't…

July 25, 2018
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“Don’t be shy. Send that 12th unanswered text.—Tequila”

"Don’t be shy. Send that 12th unanswered text. -- Tequila" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Don’t be shy, send that 7th unanswered text" was posted…

December 17, 2019
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“Don’t be worried about your smartphone or TV spying on you…” (joke)

Many devices (microwave, TV, laptop, smartphone) in the household can spy on people. "If you think your microwave spying on you is bad... Your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for…

August 22, 2020
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“DOS is for those who want to know why their computer doesn’t work”

An operating system joke was posted on the newsgroup de.comm.infosystems.www.servers by Nikolaus Rath on March 5, 2001: "Macs are for those who don't want to know why their computer…

October 23, 2025
Government/Law/Military/Religion /HealthMedia/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“Download smaller viruses to your computer to help it build an immunity”

Computer viruses are not like human viruses, but there are jokes. There is no herd immunity for computer viruses. "Download smaller viruses to your computer to help it build an immunity"…

March 30, 2024
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“Due to personal reasons, I’m going to keep posting memes instead of seeking professional help”

"Due to personal reasons, I’m going to keep posting memes instead of seeking professional help" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The joke is that people who post many…

February 7, 2026
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“Earbuds imply the existence of earenemies”

"Earbuds" have nothing to do with "buds" or "buddies," but there are jokes. "I hate earbuds. They never stay in my ears. Punks! More like earenemies." was…

February 7, 2026
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“Earbuds never stay in my ears. More like earenemies”

"Earbuds" have nothing to do with "buds" or "buddies," but there are jokes. "I hate earbuds. They never stay in my ears. Punks! More like earenemies." was…

February 17, 2024
Holidays/Events/ParadesMedia/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“Easter tweets should be called ‘peeps’”

"Late night 'tweets' should be 'hoots.' lol" was posted on X/Twitter by chip on May 26, 2010. "late night tweets should be called 'hoots' because owls…

April 28, 2016
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“Editorial writers enter the battlefield after the war and shoot the wounded”

American journalist Murray Kempton (1917-1997) is credited for writing that "a critic (or an editorial writer) is one who walks down the hill, after the battle is over, and shoots the…

August 3, 2012
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“Editorials like skirts—long enough to cover everything, short enough to be interesting”

The formula for good speaking and good writing has been compared to a woman's dress -- "it should be long enough to cover the subject, but short enough to be interesting." The saying…

June 13, 2013
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“Editors choose their stories, but sometimes stories choose their editors”

Author Salmon Rushdie said in 1990, "Books choose their authors; the act of creation is not entirely a rational and conscious one." The quotation has been frequently cited in books and in…

July 19, 2012
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“Egotism, n: Doing the New York Times crossword puzzle with a pen”

"Egotism, n: Doing the New York Times crossword puzzle with a pen" has often been incorrectly attributed to Ambrose Bierce (1842-1913), author of the satirical lexicon The Devil's…

December 21, 2012
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing”

Entry in progress -- B.P. Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) 7 January 1853, Evening Star (Washington, DC), "Scissors and Paste," pg. 3, col. 3:If you would not be forgotten as soon as you are…

June 21, 2006
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“El campeon de los hispanos” (El Diario La Prensa)

"El campeon de los hispanos" ("the champion of the Spanish people") is the slogan of El Diario La Prensa, the Spanish-language daily. "El Diario" means "the…

July 30, 2016
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“Erotica is what I like. Porn is what you like”

What is porn? What is erotica? What's the difference? "The definition of 'erotica' vs. 'porn' seems to be 'erotica is what gets me off, porn is what gets you…

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About the Website and Editor

BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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