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March 4, 2021
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“Welcome to Twitter. A person who does not understand humor will contact you shortly”

"Welcome to Twitter. A person who does not understand humor will contact you shortly" was posted on Twitter by John Lyon on January 18, 2020. The saying was immediately understood on…

December 10, 2017
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“Welcome to Twitter. Please stand by, someone will disagree with you shortly”

Twitter is an online news and social networking service; its users have many disagreements. "Welcome to twitter where everyone either has 'someone' to agree/disagree with, or…

May 21, 2022
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“Went to the bathroom without my phone… Just like my ancestors used to do”

Some people cannot be without their phones. "Went to the bathroom without my phone…Just like our ancestors used to do" was posted on Twitter by Amish Super Model on April 12, 2022.…

May 21, 2022
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“Went to the bathroom without my phone… Just like our ancestors used to do”

Some people cannot be without their phones. "Went to the bathroom without my phone…Just like our ancestors used to do" was posted on Twitter by Amish Super Model on April 12, 2022.…

February 2, 2016
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“What did my parents do before the Internet?” (joke)

What did people do before the Internet? A joke was cited on Twitter on March 14, 2012: "I wonder what our parents did for entertainment before mass TV/internet/video games? My 38 brothers and…

July 16, 2016
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“What did one device say to the other?”/“Are you syncing what I’m syncing?”

A tech joke is: Q: What did the iPad say to the iPhone? A: "Are you syncing what I'm syncing?" The pun on "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" was cited on Twitter on…

October 26, 2017
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“What did one keyboard say to the other keyboard?”/“Sorry, you’re not my type.”

A keyboard riddle is: Q: What did one keyboard say to the other keyboard?A: "Sorry, you're not my type." The joke has been cited in print since at least 2002. 23 February 2002, The…

December 28, 2020
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“What did the internet connection say as it went to the toilet?”/“IP.”

Internet Protocol (IP) sounds like "I pee," and, of course, there are jokes. "What Did The Modem Say To The Doctor When He Wasnt Feeling Well?: It hurts when IP" was posted on…

June 14, 2021
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“What did the iPhone eat for breakfast?”/“Siri-al.”

An iPhone riddle was posted on Twitter by DJ Dookz on June 2, 2012: Q: What do iPhones eat for breakfast?A: Siri-al. This iPhone riddle was posted on Twitter by du n’importe quoi on February 17,…

May 27, 2021
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“What did the mouse say to the keyboard?”/“You’re just my type.”

A computer mouse riddle is: Q: What did the mouse say to the keyboard?A: You're just my type. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2011. Reddit -- FunnyPosted by u/chompy_jr August…

December 28, 2020
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“What did the router say to the doctor?”/“It hurts when IP.”

Internet Protocol (IP) sounds like "I pee," and, of course, there are jokes. "What Did The Modem Say To The Doctor When He Wasnt Feeling Well?: It hurts when IP" was posted on…

November 15, 2017
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“What did the turkey say to the computer?”/“Google, google!”

Turkeys say "gobble, gobble," but a modern Thanksgiving riddle is: Q: What did the turkey say to the computer?A: Google, google! The joke was printed in the newspaper comic The Family…

February 2, 2018
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/InternetPets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“What do cats read in the morning?”/“Mewspapers.”

A cat riddle is: Q: What do cats read in the morning?A: Mewspapers. The newspaper joke has been cited in print since at least 1984. Google BooksThe Kids' Cat BookBy Laima Dingwall and Annabel…

June 14, 2021
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“What do iPhones eat for breakfast?”/“Siri-al.”

An iPhone riddle was posted on Twitter by DJ Dookz on June 2, 2012: Q: What do iPhones eat for breakfast?A: Siri-al. This iPhone riddle was posted on Twitter by du n’importe quoi on February 17,…

March 29, 2021
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/InternetPets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“What do programmers and cats have in common?” (joke)

A programmer riddle is: Q: What do programmers and cats have in common?A: When either one is unusually excited, an appropriate question is: 'Did you find a bug?'" The joke has been…

January 9, 2025
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“What do web developers’ children play?”/“The floor is Java!”

"The floor is lava" is a game. "The floor is java" is a coffee pun. "The floor is java" is also a Java programming language joke. "I want to play the floor is…

July 2, 2018
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“What do you buy the web designer who has everything?”/“Gif vouchers.”

There are "gift" vouchers, but what about "gif" vouchers? "Do web geeks get Gif Vouchers for christmas?" was posted on Twitter on August 20, 2012. A riddle was posted…

November 20, 2017
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“What do you call 2 monkeys that share an Amazon account?”/“Prime mates.”

Amazon Prime is a paid subscription service offered by Amazon.com, offering two-day or one-day delivery service in certain areas. A riddle was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on November 19, 2017: Q:…

December 14, 2019
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“What do you call a computer mouse that swears?”/“A cursor.”

A computer riddle has been cited in print since at least 2012: Q: What do you call a mouse that swears?A: A cursor. The word "computer" was added in this version on Twitter by Olivia…

January 10, 2024
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/InternetTransportation

“What do you call a dying airport computer?”/“A terminal terminal terminal.”

A computer riddle was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on November 12, 2023: Q: What do you call a dying airport computer? A: A terminal terminal terminal. “I’ve got a phobia of over-engineered…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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