“I paid my taxes, and all I got was this stupid oligarchy”
"I paid my taxes, and all I got was this stupid oligarchy" is a saying that has been printed on an ecard. "My parent went to Florida and all I got was this lousy T-shirt" is a…
“I phoned the Child Abuse Hotline. A kid answered, called me a…” (joke)
A "Child Abuse Hotline" is usually to report about abuse to children, but a joke has it that the hotline is to get abuse from children. "I phoned the Child Abuse Hotline. A kid…
“I pledge a legion to the flag” (Pledge of Allegiance mondegreen)
The Pledge of Allegiance of the United States has been recited by millions of school children, and many of them say the wrong words. These mishearings or misinterpretations are called…
“I pledge a lesion to the flag” (Pledge of Allegiance mondegreen)
The Pledge of Allegiance of the United States has been recited by millions of school children, and many of them say the wrong words. These mishearings or misinterpretations are called…
“I pledge a lesson to the frog” (Pledge of Allegiance mondegreen)
The Pledge of Allegiance of the United States has been recited by millions of school children, and many of them say the wrong words. These mishearings or misinterpretations are called…
“I pledge allegiance to the mask of the World Health Organization…”
A Covid-19 parody of the Pledge of Allegiance has been shown on many images: "I pledge allegiance to the mask of the World Health Organization, and to the United Nations, for which it stands,…
“I prefer my guns the way Democrats prefer their voters: undocumented and untraceable”
"Undocumented" guns have been compared to "undocumented" Americans. "RT @frontalboundary: My #guns are not #illegal they are #undocumented. #NRA #Pelosi #Obama #Biden"…
“I question the timing” (IQTT)
"I question the timing" means that someone suspects political motivation behind an action. For example, a politician in New York City used to have high publicity porn busts right before…
“I really hope mailmen don’t start getting the Coronavirus. They’re really good carriers”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in a few jokes about "carriers." "Mailmen with coronavirus don’t actually show any symptoms; they’re just carriers" was posted on…
“I reject the assertion that my family & I must be made defenseless for you & yours to feel safe”
"I reject the assertion that my family and I must be made defenseless for you and yours to feel safe" (or "I reject the assertion that my family must be made defenseless for you to…
“I reject the assertion that my family must be made defenseless for you to be safe”
"I reject the assertion that my family and I must be made defenseless for you and yours to feel safe" (or "I reject the assertion that my family must be made defenseless for you to…
“I reject the belief that I must be defenseless in order for you to feel safe”
"I REJECT THE BELIEF THAT I MUST BE DEFENSELESS IN ORDER FOR YOU TO FEEL SAFE (shown on an image) was posted on Facebook by Make Michigan Great Again on September 13, 2022. The post received…
“I remember a time when people who got tested with no apparent symptoms were called hypochondriacs”
The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in many people getting tested weekly or monthly, even if they displayed no symptoms of any disease. This was posted on Twitter by Naomi Seibt on May 12,…
“I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it’s election night”
"I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it's election night" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. “@LinajkReturns: I remember when…
“I run better than the government”
"I run better than the government" is a jocular one-line running saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on October 2, 2013. TwitterAustin Camey…
“I saw someone pickpocket a dwarf. I don’t know how anyone could stoop so low”
The expression "stoop so low" usually is not meant literally, but there are jokes. "I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pickpocketed How could anyone stoop so…
“I saw two men in matching outfits, so I asked them if they were gay. They arrested me!”
"I saw two men in matching outfits, so I asked them if they were gay. They arrested me!" -- the men were police officers -- was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on July 15, 2018, and on several…
“I scream. You scream. The police come. It’s awkward”
"I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream" is a popular chant. "I scream. You scream. The police come. It's awkward" is a jocular variation that has been printed…
“I seen my opportunities and I took ‘em” & “Honest graft” (George Washington Plunkitt)
George Washington Plunkitt, a corrupt politician of Tammany Hall days, is known today for the term "honest graft" and the saying "I seen my opportunities and I took 'em."…
“I still can’t believe people’s survival instincts told them to grab toilet paper”
"I still can't believe people's survival instincts told them to grab toilet paper" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic…