“I can’t believe I still have to protest this shit”
"I can't believe I/we still have to protest this crap/shit" is a popular sign at many protest marches. "I can't believe I still have to protest this crap" was printed…
“I can’t breathe” (anti-police brutality slogan)
Eric Garner died in Staten Island on July 17, 2014. A police officer had grabbed his neck (seemingly choking Garner), and a video of the incident recorded Garner saying, "I can't…
“I can’t even press charges on the guy who stole my explosives”
"Press charges" usually means to press "legal" charges. The expression usually has nothing to do with detonating explosives, but there are jokes. "Those who aim torpedoes…
“I can’t believe it’s riot season already. I still have my COVID decorations up”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic was followed by George Floyd protests. "I can’t believe it’s riot season already. I still have my COVID decorations up" was posted on Twitter by…
“I carry a gun because a cop is too heavy”
"I carry a gun because a cop is too heavy" is a pro-gun slogan that has been printed on many gift items, such as bumper stickers, T-shirts and posters. The saying has been cited in print…
“I carry a gun because a cop is too heavy”
"I carry a gun because a cop is too heavy" is a gun rights saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was printed in The Spokesman-Review (Spokane, WA) on August 9, 2007 and…
“I consider myself a moral person. That’s why I only eat turkeys that have exhausted appeals”
The president of the United States traditionally pardons one turkey just before Thanksgiving. American television host and comedian Conan O'Brien posted this joke on Twitter on November 26,…
“I consider sex a misdemeanor. The more I miss, de meaner I get”
"I consider sex a misdemeanor. The more I miss, de meaner I get" (or "Sex is a misdemeanor. De more I miss de meaner I get") is a jocular saying that has been printed on many…
“I continued the cycle of my own oppression today” (“I voted” sticker parody)
"I continued the cycle of my own oppression today" (made to look like the "I voted" sticker) is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying (shown on a sticker)…
“I did a degree in politics. In the exams, we got extra marks for not answering the questions”
A joke is that in a political science course, you get high marks for not answering the questions -- like politicians. "I once did a degree in politics..It was so easy, because in the exam we…
“I didn’t misgender you, you misgendered you, and I refused to play along”
"I didn't misgender you, you misgendered you, and I refused to play along" is a transgender saying that has been printed on many images. "I didn’t misgender you! You…
“I didn’t realize that my parents teaching me to tell the truth when I was a child…”
Entry in progress -- BP FacebookColleen WatersOctober 15, 2021 at 4:57 AM · Friday , been a good girl all week not been fb banned (yet) but most likely still on the watch list 👀😇(The…
“I didn’t think there was a class system in the U.S.” (joke)
Entry in progress -- B.P. Google BooksThe NationVolume 2361983Pg. 388:An Oxford professor meets a former Ph.D. student and courteously inquires what he's working on these days. “l'm…
“I disagree with you, but I’m pretty sure you’re not Hitler”
Jon Stewart announced his October 30, 2010 "The Rally to Restore Sanity" on Comedy Central's The Daily Show on September 16, 2010. Stewart suggested one sign: "I disagree with…
“I do not find in Christianity one redeeming feature” (Jefferson?)
In October 2011, a California atheist group put up a billboard with the following anti-Christian saying attributed to founding father Thomas Jefferson: "I do not find in Christianity one…
“I do whatever I can to fight poverty. Only the other day I punched a tramp”
The saying "fight poverty" doesn't mean to attack poor people, but there are jokes. "I saw an amazing looking girl the other day wearing a T-Shirt that said 'Fight…
“I don’t always ignore government health advice, but when I do, I end up healthier”
"I don't always ignore government health advice, but when I do, I end up healthier" is an anti-government saying. Government's health advice might be influenced by milllions of…
“I don’t believe anything the government tells me. Nothing. Zero”
"I have certain rules I live by. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. Nothing. Zero" is a saying credited to American stand-up comedian George Carlin…
“I don’t call them illegal firearms. They’re undocumented protection devices and I keep them…”
"Undocumented" guns have been compared to "undocumented" Americans. "I don't have any 'assault weapons' - they are either defense weapons or undocumented…
“I don’t care which party is in control. I don’t want to be controlled”
"I don't care which party is in control. I (just) don't want to be controlled" is a political saying that has been printed on many images. "I DON'T CARE WHICH PARTY IS…