“Tonight, I’ll be having my favorite drink. It’s called a lot”
"Tonight I'm going to have my favorite drink. It's called 'a lot'" (or "Tonight, I'll be having my favorite drink. It's called a lot") is a…
“Too bad alcohol isn’t heavily discounted the day after St. Patrick’s Day”
Candy is often discounted the day after Halloween and the day after Valentine's Day. Many have wished that alcohol could be discounted on the day after St. Patrick's Day. "Hmm is…
“Too many people do weightlifting with the wrong equipment - a knife and fork”
"WISH I'D SAID THAT: Too many Americans go in for weight-lifting with the wrong equipment -- a knife and fork" was in the "Earl's Pearl's" segment of…
“Too much Monday, not enough coffee”
"Too much Monday, not enough coffee" -- meaning a tough day at work -- is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Too much Monday, not enough coffee. Must remedy" was…
“Too much morning, not enough coffee”
"Too much morning, not enough coffee" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "too much morning, not enough coffee" was posted on Facebook by Anastasia Jocke on…
“Took my own lunch to work and didn’t buy a coffee today so I should be able to afford to buy a house any day now”
Some people believe that they can save a lot of money if they bring lunch to work and don't buy coffee. This was posted on X/Twitter by andy on April 6, 2022, and received over 287,000 likes:…
“Toothpaste before orange juice equals death”
Brushing one's teeth with toothpaste and then drinking orange juice results in an unpleasant taste, but it's usually not fatal. "Beer before liquor, never sicker" is an old…
“Tootsie Rolls are just chocolate Starbursts”
A Tootsie Roll is a chocolate-like, taffy-like candy, first made in 1907. A Starburst is a box-shaped, fruit-flavored soft taffy candy, first manufactured in the 1960s. "Apparently Tootsie…
“Top Ramen implies the existence of Bottom Ramen”
Nissin Foods produces Top Ramen noodles; there is no "Middle Ramen" or "Bottom Ramen," but there are jokes. “I’m so broke, I can only afford Bottom Ramen” is a related…
“Toss your hair in a bun, drink some coffee, put on some gangsta rap and handle it”
"Put your hair (up) in a bun, drink some coffee and handle it" (or "Toss your hair in a bun, drink some coffee, put on some gangsta rap and handle it") is a motivational saying…
“Toss your hair in a bun, drink some coffee, put on some music and handle it”
"Put your hair (up) in a bun, drink some coffee and handle it" (or "Toss your hair in a bun, drink some coffee, put on some gangsta rap and handle it") is a motivational saying…
“Tostadas are just flat tacos”
Several Mexican foods have been described as "flat tacos." Tostadas are most frequently described as flat tacos, but the description has also been applied to chalupas, Mexican pizza,…
“Tough shit if you do not eat enough fiber”
"Don't get enough fiber? Tough shit" was posted on the newsgroup alt.religion.kibology on October 8, 1996. The joke was popularized by stand-up comedian Jimmy Carr on the British…
“Tough tomatoes!”
"Tough tomato" described a tough boxer ("one tough hombre" is now used) by as early as 1922. Jack Conway of Variety had described club fighters (with more heart than physical…
“TP hoarding explained: Some people will be eating their own cooking for the first time in years”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused panic buying of toilet paper. Many people were puzzled by this. "Toilet paper hoarding explained...some people will be eating their own cooking for…
“Trail mix is just a deconstructed granola bar”
Trail mix has been compared with a granola bar. "Revelation of the day: trail mix is just a deconstructed granola bar" was posted on Twitter by Lisa DeSantis on April 18, 2014.…
“Trail mix is just M&M’s with obstacles”
"Trail mix is just M&M's with obstacles" is a jocular saying from someone who loves M&M's -- but not the other trail mix ingredients -- that has been printed on many…
“Trans fat implies the existence of cis fat”
"Transfat" and "cisfat" both exist, although the "cisfat" term is less well known. A joke treats the terms like "transgender" and "cisgender."…
“Transfat implies the existence of cisfat”
"Transfat" and "cisfat" both exist, although the "cisfat" term is less well known. A joke treats the terms like "transgender" and "cisgender."…
“Trees are just broccoli for giants”
Broccoli looks like little trees. "Trees are broccoli for giants" was posted on X/Twitter by Brandon Floyd on January 16, 2011. "What if trees are just broccoli for giants" was…