“I like to cook my pasta al Dante. I boil the hell out of them”
"Al dente" cooking should not be written as "al Dante" (as in Dante's Inferno), but there are jokes. "How to cook al-dante pasta?" was posted on the newsgroup…
“I like to have at least 5 practice beers before having my actual first beer”
"I like to have at least 5 practice beers before I have my actual beer" (or "I like to have at least 5 practice beers before having my actual first beer") is a jocular beer…
“I like to have at least 5 practice beers before I have my actual beer”
"I like to have at least 5 practice beers before I have my actual beer" (or "I like to have at least 5 practice beers before having my actual first beer") is a jocular beer…
“I like to paint peas in a cage. I’m a trapped peas artist”
"Trapeze" sounds like "trapped peas." "I used to be in the Circus. I was a Trapped Peas Artist" was posted on Twitter by IG:lil.eddie.turdle on June 7, 2011. "My…
“I like to party. And by party I mean drink coffee with no pants on”
"I like to party. And by party I mean drink coffee with no pants on" is a jocular coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "I like to party. And by party I mean lounge in…
“I like to put coriander on my blended tomatoes. It’s soup herb”
"It's soup herb" sounds like "it's superb." "Just figured out the ultimate recipe to wellness. It's Soup + Herb" was posted on X/Twitter by Kaner on…
“I like to put German wine in my cooking on an add hock basis”
"Hock" is a British term for German white wine. Some puns have "add hock" instead of "ad hoc." "I didn’t have set people to specifically calculate how much…
“I like to stop the microwave with 1 second to go. Makes me feel like a bomb defusal expert”
Many people stop the microwave with one second left and take their food out; this makes them feel like a bomb defusal/disposal expert. "I like to stop the microwave when it gets to one second.…
“I like to surround myself with people who share in my inappropriate comments, random shenanigans, and solid love of coffee”
"I like to surround myself with people who share in my inappropriate comments, random shenanigans, and solid love of coffee" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I like…
“I listen to the voices in my coffee”
"I listen to the voices in my coffee" is a jocular coffee saying that has been printed on many images. A crazy person might "listen to the voices inside the head." "I…
“I live for dried grapes. They’re my raisin d’être”
"Raison d'être" ( French for "reason for being") has nothing to do with raisins, but there are jokes. "I absolutely live for small dried fruits. They're my…
“I live for small dried fruits. They’re my raisin d’être”
"Raison d'être" ( French for "reason for being") has nothing to do with raisins, but there are jokes. "I absolutely live for small dried fruits. They're my…
“I look fat. Please say something nice.”/“You have perfect eyesight.”
A fat joke is: WIFE (looking in the mirror): I look fat. Please give me a compliment.HUSBAND: You have perfect eyesight. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2003 and has been printed on…
“I lost my Tic Tacs today. Now, I’m looking for replacemints”
"Lost my Tic-Tacs yesterday... Now Im looking for some replace mints" was posted on Twitter by David Easaw on January 8, 2013. "I lost my Tic Tacs today.... Now, I'm looking for…
“I love Basmati rice. I could eat it Tilda cows come home”
Tilda (a brand name since 1970) makes basmati rice that is the top-selling rice in the United Kingdom. "Tilda" sounds like "till the," and there are jokes about this "till…
“I love board games. My favorite one is where people put meat and cheese on a board. Maybe some fruit and crackers. I’m so good at that one”
A charcuterie board is not a board game, but there is a joke. This was posted on Instagram by justdoingmybest on December 18, 2024, and received over 120,000 likes: "I love board games. My…
“I love coffee, I love tea” (“Java Jive”)
"I love coffee, I love tea" (also "I like coffee, I like tea") is best known today as the first line of the song "Java Jive" (1940, with words by Milton Drake, music…
“I love cooking children and dogs. But hate using commas”
"I love cooking children and dogs but I hate punctuating my sentences" is a jocular line that was posted on Twitter on April 3, 2011. "I love cooking children and dogs but I hate…
“I love cooking with wine—sometimes I even put it in the food”
"I love cooking with wine -- sometimes I even put it in the food." This popular quote has been attributed to French chef Julia Child (1912-2004) and to the film comedian (and lover of the…
“I love drinking with fat people. They just start frying chicken out of nowhere like damn when you thaw that out?”
There's a saying that it's good to get drunk (or to get high) with fat people -- they'll start frying chicken out of nowhere. "I love smoking around fat people cause when they…