“What do you call a pirate who skips class?”/“Captain Hooky.”
A pirate riddle is: Q: What do you call a pirate who skips class?A: Captain Hooky. "Captain Hooky" is a blend of "Captain Hook" and "hooky." The joke has been cited in…
“What do you call a teacher who doesn’t fart in public?”/“A private tooter.”
There's a joke about private tutors: Q: What do you call a teacher who doesn't fart in public?A: A private tootor. The pun began as a musical joke. "WHEN is an educational instructor…
“What do you call a temporary teacher fart?”/“A substitoot.”
"Substitute" is often jocularly spelled "substitoot." A musical riddle was cited in print in 1882: Q: What should a man be called who takes the place of another in a brass…
“What do you call a tube with a college degree?”/“A graduated cylinder.”
The term "graduated cylinder" is the subject of an obvious joke: Q: What do you call a tube with a college degree?A: A graduated cylinder. The joke has been cited in print since at least…
“What do you call an acid with an attitude?”/“A-mean-oh acid.”
A science riddle has been printed on several images: Q: What do you call an acid with an attitude?A: A-mean-oh acid. The joke was posted on Twitter by Luciana on November 12, 2011. Wikipedia: Amino…
“What do you call an ant who skips school?”/“A truant.”
An ant riddle is: Q: What do you call an ant who skips school?A: A truant. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2004. Civilization Fanatics CenterWhat do you call an ant that skips…
“What do you call medical students who graduated online?”/“Google Docs.”
Google Docs ("docs" is short for "documents") has nothing to do with "doctors," but there are jokes. "What do you call physicians who work at Google? Google…
“What do you call the head of a school of fish?”/“A Sardean.”
A school riddle is: Q: What do you call the head of a school of fish? A: A Sardean. "Sardean" is not a "dean," but a pun on "sardine." Forms of the "Sardean"…
“What do you call the study of feminism?”/“Trigonometry.”
Several jokes have it that feminists study "trigonometry" or "triggernometry" (trigger + trigonometry). "If a tumblr feminist majors in Women's rights, what do they…
“What do you feed a baby parabola?”/“Quadratic formula.”
A math pun on the word "formula" has been printed on several images: Q: What do you feed a baby parabola?A: Quadratic formula. "What does a baby parabola drink? Quadratic…
“What do you get when you cross a teacher with a vampire?”/“Lots of blood tests.”
A vampire riddle is: Q: What do you get when you cross a teacher with a vampire?A: Lots of blood tests. The popular Halloween joke has been cited in print since at least 1986. Google Books696 Silly…
“What do you say to comfort an English teacher?”/“They’re, there, their.”
An English riddle was posted on Twitter by Tricia L on April 30, 2012: Q: How do you comfort a grammar nazi??A: Pat them on the back while saying, "There, their, they're..." An…
“What does a fat cow give you?”/“Homework!”
Are elementary school teachers fat? A popular joke goes: Teacher: If a chicken gives you meat and a pig gives you bacon, what does a fat cow give you?Stuident: Homework! The joke was cited on…
“What does gum and gun have in common?”/“Pull it out in class and everyone wants to be your friend”
"The similarity between a pack of gum and a gun is that people want to be your friend when you pull it out" was posted on Reddit -- Showerthoughts on February 8, 2020. "What do gum…
“What does illiteracy even mean?”
"What does illiteracy even mean??" was posted on Twitter by Captain Geech on August 17, 2010. The joke is that an illiterate person wouldn't know what it means. "What does…
“What happened to the Easter Bunny when he misbehaved at school?”/“He was eggspelled.”
An Easter riddle is: Q: What happened to the Easter Bunny when he misbehaved at school?A. He was eggspelled! "What happened when Humpty Dumpty skipped class?"/"He was…
“What happened to the plant in math class?”/“It grew square roots.”
A math riddle has been printed on several images: Q: What happened to the plant in math class?A: It grew square roots. The "square roots" joke has been cited in print since at least 1961.…
“What happens if the average number of bullies at a school goes up?”/“The mean increases.”
A riddle about school bullying was posted on Reddit -- Dad Jokes on September 7, 2018: Q: What happens if the average number of bullies at a school goes up?A: The mean increases. The joke also…
“What happens if the average number of bullies at a school goes up?”/“The mean increases.”
"What happens if the average number of bullies at a school goes up? The mean increases" was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on September 7, 2018. The word "mean" means…
“What has 4 letters, sometimes has 9 letters, and never has 5 letters”
"What has 4 letters, sometimes has 9 letters, and never has 5 letters" is a riddle -- until it's figured out that it is a statement. The word "what" has four letters, the…