“What did the acorn say when it grew up?” (math joke)
It's one of the oldest math jokes, told by teachers and students every year: Question: What did the acorn say when he grew up? Answer: Geometry (Gee, I'm a tree). The corny joke has been…
“What did the Asian parents tell their child? ‘You’re an A-sian, not a B-sian’”
Many Asian students feel pressure from their parents to perform well academically. "You're an A-sian, not a B-sian" (or "You're an Asian, not a Bsian") is a saying…
“What did the Asian parents tell their child? ‘You’re an Asian, not a Bsian’”
Many Asian students feel pressure from their parents to perform well academically. "You're an A-sian, not a B-sian" (or "You're an Asian, not a Bsian") is a saying…
“What did the book tell the highlighter?”/“Mark my words!”
"Mark my words" is an expression meaning that one should remember what the speak is saying. "Mark my words" usually does not involve literally marking words, but there are…
“What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?”/“Bison!”
Parents say "goodbye" when their children are sent off to school, prompting a silly joke: Q: What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?A: Bison! (Bye, son!) "What did…
“What did the college football player get on his SATs?”/“Drool”
The SAT is an examination used for college admissions. A popular SAT joke is: Q: What did the musician/athlete get on his SATs?A: Drool. The SAT joke appears to have started with musicians…
“What did the complementary angle say to the isosceles triangle?”/“Nice legs.”
A "complementary angle" is not necessarily "complimentary," but there are jokes. A math riddle is: Q: What did the complementary angle say to the isosceles triangle?A: Nice…
“What did the dog get when he graduated from school?”/“A pedigree.”
A dog riddle is: Q: What did the dog get when he graduated from school?A: A pedigree. The joke was posted on the newsgroup alt.humor.puns on November 16, 2004. The portmanteau word…
“What did the gangster’s son tell his dad when he failed his exams?” (joke)
There's a difference between a school examination and a criminal examination, but there's a joke: Q: What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his exams?A: "Dad,…
“What did the ghost teacher say to her class?”/“Watch the board and I’ll go through it again!”
A popular Halloween riddle about a ghost teacher is: Q: What did the ghost teacher say to her class?A: "Watch the board and I'll go through it again!" The riddle has been cited in…
“What did the paper say to the pencil?”/“Right on!”
A pencil riddle was printed in the Philadelphia (PA) Inquirer on October 16, 1940: Q: What did the paper say to the pencil?A: "I'm beginning to see the point." A different riddle…
“What did the paper say to the pencil?”/“Write on!”
A pencil riddle was printed in the Philadelphia (PA) Inquirer on October 16, 1940: Q: What did the paper say to the pencil?A: "I'm beginning to see the point." A different riddle…
“What did the paper say to the pencil?”/“You’ve got a good point.”
A pencil riddle was printed in the Philadelphia (PA) Inquirer on October 16, 1940: Q: What did the paper say to the pencil?A: "I'm beginning to see the point." A different riddle…
“What did the suicide bomber teacher say to his students?”/“I’m only going to show this once.”
Teachers often say, "Pay attention! I'm only going to do this once!" But what if the teacher is instructing suicide bombers? A joke was posted on the newsgroup soc.culture.israel on…
“What did the triangle say to the circle?”/“You’re pointless!”
A circle riddle is: Q: What did the triangle say to the circle?A: You’re pointless! The riddle has been cited in print since at least 2005. “Why was the circle depressed?"/"She…
“What do dogs do after they finish obedience school?”/“They get their masters.”
There is a difference between "master's" (a degree) and "masters." A dog riddle was posted on Twitter on April 15, 2013: "Stupid joke of the day: What do dogs do after…
“What do elves do after school?”/“Gnomework.”
A Christmas riddle is: Q: What do elves do after school?A: Gnomework. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 1984. Google BooksThe Zaniest Riddle Book in the WorldBy Joseph Rosenbloom…
“What do history teachers make when they want to get together?”/“Dates.”
A history teacher riddle is: Q: What do history teachers make when they want to get together?A: Dates. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1986. Google Books696 Silly School Jokes &…
“What do math teachers call retirement?”/“The ‘aftermath.’”
A joke about math teachers is: Q: What do math teachers call retirement?A: The aftermath. The joke has been cited in print in 1968 and 1999. Google BooksFaculty Conference; Papers and…
“What do math teachers do on Thanksgiving?”/“Count their blessings”
A Thanksgiving riddle about arithmetic/math teachers is: Q: What do math teachers do on Thanksgiving?A: Count their blessings. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 2006. Brownielocks…