“A group of kids is called a migraine”
Do kids give parents and teachers migraine headaches? "A group of kids is called a migraine" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "A flock of kids is called a…
“A Jewish fetus is not considered viable until it graduates from medical school”
American Jewish families have valued education. Brooklyn-born comedian, actress and television host Joan Rivers (1933-2014) was quoted in a Washington (DC) Post profile on June 11, 1986: "When…
“A library is a hospital for the mind”
"A library is a hospital for the mind" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The library of the tomb complex of Ramses II (1279-1213 BC) at Thebes, Egypt, was inscribed with…
“A mugger says to a university student, ‘Your money or your life!’” (joke)
"'Your money or your life!' 'Haha! Joke's on you, I don't have either of those things'" is a joke about an attempted robbery that was posted on Twitter on…
“A new school, For a new century, In a new neighborhood” (Claremont Prep)
Claremont Prep is located near the New York Stock Exchange, a seemingly strange place for a grade school. http://www.claremontprep.org/home.html A new schoolFor a new centuryIn a new neighborhood.…
“A parking ticket officer is simply a hall monitor who reached full potential”
School hall monitors are not held in high esteem by students, and parking ticket officers aren't held in high esteem by drivers. Anjeanette Carter posted on Twitter on October 12, 2011:…
“A pencil is an acoustic pen”
Is a pencil just an acoustic pen? “’@Korpsay: pencils are acoustic pens’ deep” was posted on Twitter by hannah on February 8, 2014. "True but as @Nega_Max knowledgeably once told us…
“A person with a liberal arts degree walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A liberal arts graduate version is: "A person with an art degree walks into a bar.…
“A professor is one who talks in someone else’s sleep”
"A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep" is a jocular quotation that has been attributed to the poet W. H. Auden (1907-1973) since at least 1940. The quotation has…
“A professor must have a theory, as a dog must have fleas”
Newspaper columnist and author H. L. Mencken (1880-1956) disliked The New Criticism: A Lecture Delivered at Columbia University, March 9, 1910 (1911) by Joel Elias Spingarn (1876-1939). Mencken…
“A rubber band was confiscated during algebra because it was a weapon of math disruption”
A pun on "weapon of mass destruction" is "weapon of math disruption," as in a popular joke: "A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon…
“A science teacher had his students observe and report on the condensation…” (joke)
"Due" shouldn't be confused with "dew," but there are jokes. This was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on May 21, 2022: "A science teacher had his students observe and…
“A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student”
"A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student" is an old line of unknown authorship. "He (Charles Haddon Spurgeon -- ed.) is a self-taught man, and contrary to…
“A sports bra implies the existence of an academic bra”
There are sports bras, but is there an academic bra? "Burn the academic bra!" was posted on Twitter by Paige on March 22, 2017. "A sports bra implies the existence of an academic…
“A teacher takes a hand, opens a mind and touches a heart”
"A teacher takes a hand, opens a mind and touches a heart" has been printed on many gift items, such as posters, mugs, hats and T-shirts. "A teacher takes a hand, opens a mind,…
“A truly special teacher is very wise, and sees tomorrow in every child’s eyes”
"A truly special teacher is very wise, and sees tomorrow in every child's eyes" is a popular quotation that has been printed on many images. The quotation has been cited in print…
“A university is a city in outer space”
The word "university" sounds like "universe city." A pun was posted on the website Pun of the Day by Joseph Leff of Brooklyn, New York, on November 9, 2017: "A university…
“A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in the students”
American poet John Ciardi (1916-1986) wrote in the Saturday Review on May 21, 1966: "A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students." Ciardi's…
“A wise person knows that there is something to be learned from everyone”
"A wise person knows that there is something to be learned from everyone" is a saying that has been printed on posters. The saying has been cited in print since at least 2006 and is of…
“Academia is like a pie-eating contest where the reward is more pie”
“Making partner (in a law firm) is like a pie-eating contest where the prize is more pie” is a popular law saying that might date to the 1970s. "As one editor aptly put it, 'Life at…