“The gift that keeps on giving” (an interest-bearing savings account)
"The gift that keeps on giving" is a gift that serves the user for longer than just one day (such as a birthday or holiday). "A Gift That Keeps on Giving" was printed in an…
“The gold and other items of value placed in Egyptian tombs was the very first cryptocurrency”
"Cryptocurrency usually doesn't involve any ancient Egyptian crypts, but there have been several jokes. "I refuse to jump on the cryptocurrency bandwagon and instead will only pay in…
“The greatest bear is a sold out bull” (Wall Street adage)
Once an investor has sold a stock, it's satisfying if the stock then goes down (providing evidence that the sale was at the correct time). If the stock goes up after a sale, the investor…
“The investor’s advocate” (Securities and Exchange Commission slogan)
The U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) was created by the Securities and Exchange Act of 1934. William O. Douglas (1898-1980). SEC chairman from 1937-1939 and later an Associate Justice…
“The invisible hand of the free market is fisting me”
Scottish economist and philosopher Adam Smith (1723-1790) wrote in his book The Wealth of Nations (1776) about an "invisible hand" in a free market that directs wealth and resources to…
“The invisible hand of the market is fisting us at night”
Scottish economist and philosopher Adam Smith (1723-1790) wrote in his book The Wealth of Nations (1776) about an "invisible hand" in a free market that directs wealth and resources to…
“The itsy-bitsy paycheck just post to my account. Down came the bills and wiped the money out”
"The itsy-bitsy paycheck just post/posted to my account. Down came the bills and wiped the money out" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "The Itsy Bitsy…
“The large print giveth and the small print taketh away”
"The large print giveth and the small print taketh away" (or, "The large print gives and the small print takes away") is a saying frequently attributed to Archbishop Fulton J.…
“The longer the party, the bigger the hangover”
"The bigger the party, the bigger the hangover" has been cited in print since at least 1962. However, the saying is now most often used in finance, referring to a hangover after an…
“The lottery is essentially crowd funding for a random person to become a multi-millionaire”
The lottery has been compared to crowdfunding. "If you think about it, the lottery is just a form of crowdfunding. You're just funding some random person hoping it'll going to be…
“The magician said to take a card, any card. So I took his credit card”
"The magician said to take a card, any card. So I took his credit card" is a joke that has been printed on many images. "RT @FunnyJoker: A street magician came up to me at the…
“The main purpose of the stock market is to make fools of as many men as possible”
American financier Bernard Baruch (1870-1965) is usually given credit for the phrase: "The main purpose of the stock market is to make fools of as many men as possible." Contemporary…
“The man who butts his head against the stock market soon learns why it’s called Wall Street”
Wall Street. the financial center of the United States, originally had a wall, but it was removed by 1700. A joke about the name "Wall Street" circulated in newspapers in April 1924:…
“The man who dies rich dies disgraced”
Andrew Carnegie (1835-1919) was a Scottish-American industrialist who was also one of the biggest philanthropists of the late 19th century. On a visit to Scotland in July 1887, Carnegie said…
“The market can stay irrational longer than you can stay solvent” (Keynes?)
"The market can stay irrational longer than you can stay solvent" (or, "The market can remain irrational longer than you can remain solvent") is a statement often attributed to…
“The market is always here” (Wall Street phrase)
"The market is always here" is a Wall Street phrase that dates back to at least 1891; it was possibly coined by financier Russell Sage (1816-1906). The phrase means that, in good times or…
“The meek shall inherit the earth, but not the mineral rights”
The Bible includes the sayings "The meek shall inherit the earth" (Psalms 37:11) and "Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth" (Matthew 5:5). "The meek shall…
“The money in your bank account is one ‘state of emergency’ away from being the government’s money”
Money in banks can be frozen and confiscated whenever a government declares an "emergency." This was posted on Twitter by Coin Bureau (guy.eth) on February 15, 2022: "Know this: The…
“The money is a nice bonus, but the real joy in robbing banks is watching the tellers move quickly”
Do bank tellers move slowly? One joke is: "The money is a nice bonus, but the real joy in robbing banks is watching the tellers move quickly for once." The one-liner was posted by John…
“The money is always greener in the other guy’s wallet”
"The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence" is an old proverb meaning that everyone's situation in life is seemingly (if not actually) more desirable than one's…