"Recently my Dad's been suffering from seizures. So far they've taken his car, his house and his boat" was posted on Twitter by Gary Delaney on February 8, 2017. The joke is…
"My debit card is starting to feel more like a gift card.... 'not sure how much is on this but we'll give it a try'" is a saying that has been printed on many images.…
The letters "IOU" ("I owe you") are hinted at in this joke that was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on August 1, 2019: "My dyslexic French friend said he owed me some…
"My Facebook account is for laughing. For crying, I have my bank account!" (shown on an image) was posted on Facebook by Koroit Bakehouse on March 14, 2021. It's not known who posted…
"My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "What is your favorite childhood memory? Not paying bills"…
"My financial status: I just rinsed off a paper plate" is a joke that has been printed on many images. Paper plates are usually thrown away after use. "You don't know poor until…
A "get-well card" is usually a card to encourage someone to "get well" after an illness. It's not a card encouraging someone to get a water well, but there are jokes.…
People sometimes swallow coins, and it's one of the oldest of American puns: "My friend swallowed some coins and was taken to the hospital. I asked the nurse about his condition, but she…
Australian-born actor Errol Flynn (1909-1959) was one of Hollywood's highest-paid stars in the 1940s; in the 1950s, however, he faced financial disaster. A Flynn quote was published in many…
Student loan debt forgiveness became an issue at the first Democratic Party 2020 presidential debate on June 26, 2022. Joe Biden, who participated in the debates, was elected president. "FACT…
"My new credit card has this awesome theft protection where it just says 'declined' whenever you use it" is a jocular line that was cited on Twitter on May 13, 2012. "My…
"To Do: 1. Get my finances in order 2. Get finances" was posted on X/Twitter by Gary (Mystic Mac)🍀on November 30, 2023. The joke is that the speaker has not much money to get into…
"My paycheck says I have a good job. My bills say I need to do better" is a saying that means the speaker's paycheck is not covering the bills. The saying has been popular since…
"I'm a millennial, so my retirement plan is societal collapse" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Many millennials cannot afford a retirement plan. "RT…
Many people put money in a swear jar after they swear. "My swear jar could finance the fucking space program" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "My swear jar…
"My wife's credit card was stolen, but I'm not going to report it," a husband says in this old joke. "Whoever stole it spends less than she does." The joke was cited…
"My word is my bond" (Dictum Meum Pactum in Latin) became the motto of the London Stock Exchange in 1923 and the Security Traders Association in 1934. "My word is my bond" is an…
"I cannot be friends with money anymore. We both leaving the house same time but is only me coming back home" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I cannot be…
An insurance saying -- sometimes jocularly attributed to Confucius -- that has been printed on many images is: "Confucius Say: Needing insurance is like needing a parachute. If it isn't…
"Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut" is an old business proverb that has been printed on many gift items, such as T-shirts and bumper stickers. The barber is in the…