“If money can’t buy you love, then why do dating websites charge?”
The Beatles sang that "money can't buy me love" in the song "Can't Buy Me Love" (1964). "RT @Farrali: If money can't buy love, why do dating websites charge…
“If money doesn’t grow on trees, why do banks have branches?”
"Money doesn't grow on trees" is a popular financial proverb from at least the early 19th century. "If money doesn't grow on trees, why do banks have so many…
“If money grew on trees, girls would date monkeys”
"If money grew on trees, girls would date monkeys" (or "If money grew on trees, girls wouldn't mind dating monkeys") is a saying that has been printed on many images.…
“If money grew on trees, girls wouldn’t mind dating monkeys”
"If money grew on trees, girls would date monkeys" (or "If money grew on trees, girls wouldn't mind dating monkeys") is a saying that has been printed on many images.…
“If money is the root of all evil, why do churches beg for it?”
"If money is the root of all evil, why do churches beg for it?" is a popular bumper sticker saying. "For the love of money is the root of all evil" is from the New Testament (1…
“If money really did grow on trees, everyone’s favorite season would be fall”
"Money doesn't grow on trees" is an old American proverb. American humorist Robert Orben wrote a variation in his book 2400 Jokes to Brighten Your Speeches (1984): "Lazy? If…
“If money talks, then mine must have a speech impediment”
"Money talks” (meaning that money has influence) is an old financial saying, cited in print in various forms from before 1700. "Money talks" was printed in several American…
“If money talks, they why do we need bank tellers?”
"Money talks” (meaning that money has influence) is an old financial saying, cited in print in various forms from before 1700. "Money talks" was printed in several American…
“If my calculations are correct, I have absolutely no money”
"If my calculations are correct, I have no money" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The joke is that the speaker probably knew about the lack of money and didn't have…
“If my calculations are correct, I have no money”
"If my calculations are correct, I have no money" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The joke is that the speaker probably knew about the lack of money and didn't have…
“If past history is all there was to the game, the richest people would be librarians”
"If past history is all there was to the game, the richest people would be librarians" is one of the sayings of American investor Warren Buffett. It's another way of stating the…
“If printing money would end poverty, printing diplomas would end stupidity”
"Pensar que imprimiendo billetes se acaba con la pobreza es como pensar que imprimiendo diplomas se acaba con la ignorancia" ("Thinking that printing banknotes ends poverty is like…
“If Santa Claus should fail to call, bears may come to Broad & Wall” (Santa Claus Rally)
A "Santa Claus Rally" is a stock rally at the end of the year, at Christmas and New Year's Day. Yale Hirsch first described the rally in his Stock Trader's Almanac. By 1972,…
“If someone steals my identity, I really hope they pay off my debt”
"If someone steals my identity, I really hope they pay off my debt" is a jocular saying that has been printed on an ecard. "Although, if someone steals my identity, they have to pay…
“If something cannot go on forever, it will stop” (Stein’s Law)
Economist Herbert Stein (1916-1999) wrote in 1986: "But if it can't go on forever it will stop. And if we never do anything that we can't go on doing forever we will never do very…
“If something sounds too good to be true, it probably is”
"If it sounds too good to be true, it usually is" was a catchphrase used by the Better Business Bureau to alert the public to shady business practices. The phrase was used since at least…
“If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency…”
Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826) is sometimes quoted for having said: "If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation, then by…
“If time is money, then an ATM is A Time Machine”
"Time is money" is a proverb that was popularized by Benjamin Franklin (1705-1790). "ATM" stands for "automated teller machine," but there's a joke: "If time…
“If you are more fortunate than others, it’s better to build a longer table than a taller fence”
"If you are more fortunate than others, it’s better to build a longer table than a taller fence" is a saying that has been printed on posters. The saying was cited on Twitter on June 3,…
“If you can’t bill it, kill it” (“If you can’t bill it, it’s a hobby”)
"If you can't bill it, kill it" means that if it a project won't return paying customers, it's not worth doing. The phrase has been popular in the internet and…