“If a hot girl DMs you about crypto, block him”
"If a hot girl DMs/messages/texts you about crypto, block him" is a jocular saying. That is, it's a scam--and the person sending the message is not a hot girl, but a man. "If a…
“If a hot girl messages you about crypto, block him”
"If a hot girl DMs/messages/texts you about crypto, block him" is a jocular saying. That is, it's a scam--and the person sending the message is not a hot girl, but a man. "If a…
“If a hot girl texts you about crypto, block him”
"If a hot girl DMs/messages/texts you about crypto, block him" is a jocular saying. That is, it's a scam--and the person sending the message is not a hot girl, but a man. "If a…
“If a woman puts me in the friend zone, I immediately borrow money from her”
Do true friend let you borrow money and never pay it back. Jay posted this joke on Twitter on September 27, 2013: "When a woman puts me in the friend zone the first thing I do is borrow money…
“If all economists were laid end to end, they’d never reach a conclusion”
"If economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion" is a quip usually attributed to George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950), but there is no evidence that he said it. In May…
“If COVID-19 had originated in Sweden, would we be calling it the kronavirus?”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic has nothing to do with the Danish krone, Icelandic króna, Norwegian krone or Swedish krona, but there are jokes. "Maybe it was Norwegian #KronaVirus"…
“If everyone goes cashless, how do we tip strippers?”
"If everyone goes cashless, how do we tip strippers?" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. Strippers are often tipped by customers putting dollar bills in a bra or…
“If I ever win the lottery, nobody around me will be poor. I will move to a rich neighborhood”
Some lottery winners share their riches, and some don't. A joke was posted on Sickipedia on September 20, 2021: "If I ever win the lottery, rest assured, nobody around me will be poor. I…
“If I had $1,000,000, I’d donate a quarter of it to charity. Then I’ll have $999,999.75”
A joke about the meaning of "a quarter" has been printed on several images. The joke originated on the Sickipedia website and was posted on Twitter on November 7, 2011: "I won $2…
“If I had a dollar for every existential crisis I’ve ever had…does money even matter?”
"If I had a dollar for every existential crisis I’ve ever had, does money really even matter?" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by CM Cuck@TimRossComedy on November 27, 2012.…
“If I had a dollar for every gender, I’d have two dollars and a lot of counterfeits”
How many genders are there? If you had a dollar for every gender, how many dollars would you have? "If I had a dollar for every gender there was, I'd have 2 dollars" was posted on…
“If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on…” (joke)
"If I had a dollar for every time i didn't know what was going on, I'd be a millionaire" was posted on Twitter by Neale Gilbert on February 21, 2011. This is a typical answer…
“If I had a dollar for every time I got suspicious, I’d wonder who was paying me and why”
"If I had a dollar for every time I got suspicious, I'd wonder who was paying me and why" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. "If I had a dollar for…
“If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you”
"If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "If I had a penny for…
“If I had a dollar for every time I was told I was unattractive, I would be attractive”
A saying about the attractiveness of money is: "If I had a dollar for every time I was told I was unattractive to women, I'd be attractive to women." "If I had a dollar for…
“If I had a dollar for every time someone over 40 told me my generation sucks…” (joke)
"If I had a dollar for every time someone over 40 told me my generation sucks, then I could afford a house in the economy they ruined" is a saying that has been printed on many images.…
“If I had a dollar for every time someone said I was racist…” (joke)
A politically incorrect joke is: "If I had a dollar for every time someone said I was racist, a black guy would rob me." "If I had a dollar for every time someone called me a racist…
“If I spend 100 minutes with Geico, will I get free car insurance?”
A famous tagline for GEICO insurance ads is: "15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance." If you spend more than 15 minutes, could you save more money? "If I spend 100…
“If in doubt, do half” (investment adage)
"If in doubt, do half" is an investment adage that urges reducing risk. "Whilst on the subject of Cottle, one of his catch phrases is 'If in doubt, do half' i.e. close or…
“If it doesn’t make dollars, it doesn’t make sense”
"If it doesn't make dollars/money, it doesn't make sense" means that if something doesn't make money, then it doesn't make sense (a pun on the word "cents")…