“How does a southerner ask for money from a bank?”/“With drawl.”
"Withdrawal" shouldn't be confused with "with drawl," but there are jokes. "How do southerner's request money from their bank accounts? WITH DRAWL" was…
“How does gold get your attention?”/“It shouts Au!”
The chemical symbol of symbol of gold -- Au -- sounds like "Hey, you!" A riddle was posted on Twitter by John Mayernaise on September 4, 2012: Q: How does Silver get Gold's…
“How is credit like cocaine?”/“Everyone needs just one more line.”
A credit riddle is: Q: How is credit like cocaine?A: Everyone needs just one more line. The joke was posted on Reddit on July 11, 2016. redditHow is credit like cocaine?submitted July 11, 2016 by…
“How to make a small fortune on Wall Street” (start with a large one)
Question: How do you make a small fortune on Wall Street?Answer; Start with a large one! This old joke is of unknown origin, but it dates at least to the 1950s. While it's been used to refer…
“I accept CASH APOLOGIES ONLY. That’s why its called ACCOUNTABILITY…it goes into my ACCOUNT”
"I accept apologies in cash" was posted on Twitter by Luke Sparke on June 3, 2009. "I accept apologies in cash, cheesecake or chocolate" was posted on Twitter by Abhi Gupta on…
“I ain’t rich but I get off my ass everyday to make sure I ain’t broke”
"I ain't rich but I get off my ass everyday to make sure I ain't broke" (or "I ain't rich but I get off my ass everyday to make sure I'm not broke") is a…
“I ain’t rich but I get off my ass everyday to make sure I’m not broke”
"I ain't rich but I get off my ass everyday to make sure I ain't broke" (or "I ain't rich but I get off my ass everyday to make sure I'm not broke") is a…
“I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikiquote: LuckI am a great believer in luck. The harder I work, the more of it I seem to have. . Coleman Cox, in Listen to this (1922). Unsourced variant: The harder I…
“I am transfinancial. I’m a rich man trapped in a poor man’s body”
An explanation of the term "transfinancial" (transsexual + financial) has been printed on several images. "Let me introduce myself. I'm transfinancial, I'm a rich man…
“I asked the banker to check my balance, so she pushed me!”
A popular and obvious pun on "bank balance" was cited in print by at least 2006: "Went to the cash machine yesterday - an old and confused lady asked me to help check her balance -…
“I bought a Jewish sports car. It not only stops on a dime, it picks it up”
American singer, songwriter and novelist Kinky Friedman joked on the Jewish reputation for being tight with money. "Y'know the definition of a Jewish Cadillac? It stops on a dime and…
“I called my stockbroker today and asked him, ‘What are you buying?’ He said, ‘Canned goods’”
"Called my stockbroker this morning and asked him what I should be buying? He said, "Canned goods and ammunition'" is a saying that has been printed on several images. That is,…
“I can hold a note as long as the Chase Manhattan Bank” (singer Ethel Merman)
The actress Ethel Merman (1908-1984) in the musical play Girl Crazy (1930) sang the song "I Got Rhythm" (music by George Gershwin, lyrics by Ira Gershwin) and became an instant star.…
“I can’t wait until I’m financially able to afford who I really am”
"I can't wait till/until I'm financially able/stable to afford who I really am" is a financial saying that has been printed on many images. "I can’t wait until I’m…
“I can’t wait until I’m financially stable to afford who I really am”
"I can't wait till/until I'm financially able/stable to afford who I really am" is a financial saying that has been printed on many images. "I can’t wait until I’m…
“I cannot be friends with money anymore. We both leaving the house same time but is only me coming back home”
"I cannot be friends with money anymore. We both leaving the house same time but is only me coming back home" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I cannot be…
“I cried because I had no shoes until I saw a man who had no feet” (aphorism)
"I cried because I had no shoes until I saw a man who had no feet" means that, while one can despair about one's wealth or situation, there is always someone poorer or less…
“I don’t have a bank account because I can’t remember my mother’s maiden name”
Bank accounts sometimes require the account holder's mother's maiden name for security purposes. The comedienne Paula Poundstone said in the HBO comedy special Women of the Night (1988):…
“I don’t understand why banks get upset when you can’t repay a loan…” (joke)
"I don't understand why banks get upset when you can't repay a loan. You already knew I had no money when I came to borrow it" is a jocular saying that has been printed on…
“I don’t even know how to use my own credit card anymore. Tap it? Swipe it? Bop it? Twist it?”
Credit cards and debit cards used to be swiped, but now can also be inserted or tapped. It can be confusing. "First they tell me to swipe it, then to stick it, and now to tap it? Credit cards…