“Whoever said money can’t buy happiness never paid for a divorce before”
"Money can't buy happiness" is a proverb that has been cited in English since at least 1821. There have been many jocular variations of the proverb. "Whoever said money…
“Whoever said money can’t buy you happiness has clearly never been bonded out of jail before”
A proverbial saying is that "money can't buy happiness." "Whoever said money can't buy you happiness has (clearly) never been bonded out of jail before" is a saying…
“Whoever said money can’t buy you happiness has never been bonded out of jail before”
A proverbial saying is that "money can't buy happiness." "Whoever said money can't buy you happiness has (clearly) never been bonded out of jail before" is a saying…
“Whoever thinks money doesn’t bring happiness, transfer it to my account”
"Money can't buy happiness" is a proverb that has been cited in English since at least 1821. There have been many jocular additions to the proverb. "Whoever thinks money…
“Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun?”/“Because they’re always a little short.”
A popular St. Patrick's Day joke is: Q: Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun?A: Because they're always a little short. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1996.…
“Why couldn’t the fish go shopping?”/“It didn’t have anemone.”
"Anemone" sounds like "any money," prompting the joke: Q: Why couldn't the clownfish afford a house?A: Because he didn't have anemone. The joke was cited on Twitter on…
“Why couldn’t the pig pay his bill?”/“He was a little shoat.”
A pig riddle is: Q: Why couldn't the pig pay his bill?A: He was a little shoat (short). The "shoat"/"short" joke has been cited in print since at least 2007. Klosi Jokes…
“Why did the bank robber take a bath?”/“So he could make a clean getaway.”
A robbery riddle is: Q: Why did the bank robber take a bath?A: So he could make a clean getaway. "A Boston robber who shaved and dressed up to loot a residence must have wanted to make a clean…
“Why did the boy eat his cash?”/“Because it was his dinner money.”
"Dinner money" is money to buy dinner. The money itself is not dinner, but a popular riddle is: Q: Why did the boy eat his cash?A: Because it was his dinner money. The joke has been cited…
“Why did the economist stop selling herbs?”/“Because you can’t thyme the market.”
Many people try to "time the (stock) market" by buying low and selling high. This has nothing to do with herbs, but "thyme the market" is a joke. "Why did the economist…
“Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?”/“Because he wanted rich milk.”
A riddle abut "rich milk" was print in a newspaper in 1972: Q: Why did the farmer feed money to his cow? A: He wanted rich milk. The riddle was worded differently in 1997: Q: Why did the…
“Why did the pirate ask for a loan with 3.142 percent interest?”/“He wanted the pi-rate!”
A pirate riddle is: Q: Why did the pirate ask to get a mortgage with 3.142 percent interest?A: He wanted the pi-rate! The joke was posted on PirateJokes.net on February 21, 2015. "Why did the…
“Why did the vampire subscribe to the Wall Street Journal?”/“He heard it had great circulation.”
The Wall Street Journal has the largest circulation of any United States newspaper. A popular Halloween riddle is: Q: Why did the vampire subscribe to The Wall Street Journal?A: He heard it had…
“Why do bankers make great lovers?”/“They know the penalty for early withdrawal.”
A sex riddle about bankers is: Q: Why do men who are bankers make better lovers?A: Because they know that there is a substantial penalty for early withdrawal. The joke has been cited in print since…
“Why do I keep paying the bills? It just encourages them to send more”
Paying bills seems, for many people, to be an endless cycle. "No, I never pay bills. It only encourages them to send more" was posted on Twitter on May 8, 2011. "Why do I keep paying…
“Why do leprechauns have pots o’gold?”/“They like to ‘go’ first class!”
A riddle about a leprechaun's pot -- or "potty" -- of gold is: Q: Why do leprechauns have pots o' gold?A: They like to "go" first class! The joke has been cited in…
“Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?”
"Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?" is a question (cited in print since at least April 1994) that has made many lists of humorous questions. The answer is…
“Why does NY have so many bankers and NJ so many toxic waste dumps?” (banker joke)
A popular old lawyer joke is: Q: "Why does California have the most lawyers and New Jersey the most toxic waste dumps?"A: New Jersey had first choice. The joke has been cited in print…
“Why does Scrooge love Rudolph?”/“Because every buck is dear to him.”
A popular Christmas riddle based on the Cherles Dickens story A Christmas Carol> is: Q: Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?A: Because every buck is dear to him. The joke has…
“Why does Superman hate trading Bitcoin after 7 p.m.?”/“Because it’s Crypto-night.”
The fictional comic superhero Superman has a weakness regarding Kryptonite; Bitcoin is a cryptocurrency. "Bitcoin is cryptonite superman!" was posted on Twitter on August 18, 2014.…