“Whenever I go running, I meet new people…like paramedics”
"Whenever I go running, I meet new people...like paramedics" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "EVERY TIME I JOG, I MEET NEW PEOPLE. OF COURSE, THEY'RE…
New York of India (Mumbai nickname)
“Whenever I have to fill out a form that asks ‘who to call in case of an emergency,’ I always put ‘ambulance’...”
Many forms ask who to call in case of an emergency. "Employment application blanks always ask who is to be called in case of an emergency. I think you should write, 'An…
“Whenever I hear the phrase ‘Power of Attorney’ I always imagine someone being bitten by…”
"Whenever I hear the phrase 'Power of Attorney' I always imagine someone being bitten by a radioactive lawyer" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by JerryThomas on June 24,…
“Whenever I say the word ‘exercise’ I wash my mouth out with chocolate”
"Whenever I say the word 'exercise' I wash my mouth out with chocolate" (or "Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise' I wash my mouth out with chocolate"…
“Whenever I see a bottle, jar or tube with Aloe Vera on it, I will say ‘Allo Vera! in a stupid cockney accent”
"Aloe vera" (a plant species) can sound like "Hello, Vera" (or "Allo, Vera"), and there are jokes. "hehehe... english speaking people saying Aloë Vera... sounds…
“Whenever I see a commercial with a woman in a tub with two cucumber slices on her eyes…”
"Whenever I see a commercial with a woman looking fully relaxed in a tub with cucumber slices on her eyes, I wonder where the rest of it is" is a jocular saying that was posted on Twitter…
“Whenever I see a sign that says ‘keep off the grass,‘I wonder how it got there”
A joke about "keep off the grass" signs is: "Whenever I see a sign saying 'keep off the grass', I often wonder how it got there." That is, someone must have walked on…
“Whenever I see an iPad at a cash register, I know that I’m about to tip for something I never had to tip for before”
Many people go to a drive-thru at a place like Starbucks and are confronted with an iPad, and the question of what amount they want to tip. This was posted on X/Twitter by Bobby C on April 1, 2022,…
“Whenever I see other people pour a glass of wine and only fill it halfway, I’m like okay…”
"I always see adults pour a glass of wine and only fill it halfway and I’m like okay one of us is doing it wrong and I think it’s you" and "Sometimes I see people pour a glass of…
“Whenever I want a Klondike bar, I just pay for it”
A Klondike bar is an ice cream bar coated with a thin layer of chocolate. "What would you do for a Klondike bar?" is a memorable ad jingle that began in 1982. "When I want a Klondike…
“Whenever I’m feeling fat, I try not to stress about it and just keep my chins up”
"Keep your chin up!" means to stay hopeful during difficult times. Fat people often have double chins. "Whenever I'm feeling fat, I try not to stress about it and just keep my…
“Whenever my wife packs me salad for lunch, all I wanna know is what I did wrong”
"Whenever my wife packs me salad for lunch, all I wanna know is what I did wrong" is a jocular line from someone who wants something more filling than salad. The saying was posted on…
“Whenever there’s a fire drill at IKEA everyone has to assemble outside”
IKEA sells furniture that usually requires assembly. "Whenever there’s a fire drill at IKEA everyone has to assemble outside" was posted on X/Twitter by Moose Allain Ꙭ on November 7,…
“Whenever you don’t know who the loser is in a transaction, then the loser is you”
"If you're at a poker table and you don't see a sucker, it's you." This gambling saying dates to at least 1982 and was possibly coined by Amarillo Slim Preston, a…
“Whenever you give the government the power to disarm the mentally ill, you give the government…”
Many people argue that the mentally ill shouldn't own guns, so gun owners should submit to psychological examination. This was posted on Twitter by Libertarian Party on March 28, 2023:…
“Whenever you see a successful business, someone once made a courageous decision”
"Whenever you see a successful business, someone once made a courageous decision," American management consultant Peter Drucker (1909-2005) said in 1962. The quotation has been cited in…
“Whenever you see the words ‘fat-free’ or ‘low-fat,’ think of the words ‘chemical shit storm’”
"Whenever you see the words 'fat-free' or 'low-fat,' think of the words 'chemical shit storm'" is a saying that has been printed on many images.…
“Where America Greets the World” (JFK Airport)
"Where America Greets the World" is the new slogan for JFK Airport. The slogan was made for JFK's 50th anniversary in 1998. Wikipedia: John F. Kennedy International AirportJohn F.…
“Where are average things built?”/“In the satisfactory.”
A pun about the words "factory" and "satisfactory" is: Q: Where are average things built?A: In the satisfactory. "Where are average things manufactured? The…
“Where are dead computer hackers buried?”/“In decrypt.”
A computer riddle was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on June 21, 2020: Q: Where are dead computer hackers buried?A: In decrypt. "Decrypt" is a pun on "the crypt" and…