“How can you tell good cops from bad cops?”/“Easy. Good cops carry a Goodge.”
"Badge" does not mean that there is a "goodge," but there are jokes. "It's not a badge; it's a goodge" was posted on Twitter by Sidyom H on December 13,…
Texas (Lone Star State Dictionary)
“How can you tell if a fish is a Swedish fish?”/“It only has Finns on one side.”
Swedish Fish is a fish-shaped, chewy candy. Sweden is a country next to Finland. "A Swedish Fish is that which has no Finns" was posted on Twitter by Tony Bowman on March 11, 2019.…
“How can you tell if a guy singing karaoke is a plumber?”/“By how he uses his fauceto.”
"Falsetto" has nothing to do with a faucet, but there are some jokes. "Plumbers sing in a faucetto" was posted on Twitter by Mike H on May 3, 2011. "2nd #PUN FOR THE DAY:…
“How can you tell if a rice cake is stale?”
Many people think that a rice cake tastes like styrofoam. "Eating a stale rice cake... or is it? How can you tell?" was posted on Twitter by Travis Spencer on March 19, 2008. "How,…
“How can you tell if a violin is out of tune?”/“The bow is moving.”
A riddle about a string instrument (such as a violin or a viola) is: Q: How can you tell if a violin is out of tune?A: The bow is moving. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1992.…
“How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time?”/“He’s Dublin over with laughter!”
A popular St. Patrick's Day riddle is: Q: How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time?A: He's Dublin (doubling) over with laughter! The joke has been cited in print since at…
“How can you tell it’s fall in Florida? When the color of license plates begin to change”
"You know it's fall in Florida when the license plate colors begin to change" is a joke that has been printed on many images. The saying means that "snowbirds" are driving…
“How can you tell it’s a dogwood tree?”/“By the bark.”
Dogs bark. Trees have bark. An old joke is told about the flowering dogwood tree. "Dog-wood, says the New York Star, may readily be distinguished by its peculiar bark" was printed in the…
“How can you tell the truth is being told? Facebook blocks it, Twitter deletes it…”
"How can you tell the truth is being told? Well, when Facebook blocks it, Twitter deletes it, Google hides it, Youtube bans it, The Media censor it, And your Government forbids it" (or…
“How can you tell time if clocks don’t have ears?”
When you "tell time" you're not speaking to time, but there are jokes. "How do I tell time when clocks have no ears?" was posted on Reddit -- Shittyaskscience on March 7,…
“How can you tell when a lawyer is well hung” (lawyer joke)
A popular women's joke about men is: Q: How can you tell when a man is well-hung?A: When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose. The joke has been cited in…
“How can you tell when a politician is lying? His lips are moving!”
"How can you tell when a politician is lying?" is the start of an old joke. The answer: "His lips are moving." "How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?" is the most…
“How can you tell when a tenor is really stupid?”/“When the other tenors notice.”
A tenor riddle is: Q: How can you tell when a tenor is really stupid?A: When the other tenors notice. The tenor joke was posted on the newsgroup rec.music.classical on May 5, 1993. Wikipedia:…
“How can you tell when an engineer is an extrovert?”/“He stares at YOUR shoes when he talks to you.”
A popular joke told about engineers (and actuaries and probably many other professions) is: Q: How can you tell when an engineer is an extrovert?A: He stares at your shoes when he talks to you. The…
“How can you tell which one of your friends got a good Black Friday deal?” (joke)
One shopping aspect about "Black Friday" is people constantly talking about the deals that they found. A riddle is: Q: How can you tell which one of your friends got a good Black Friday…
“How can you tell who owns bitcoin at a party?”/“Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.”
“How do you know if someone is a vegan?"/"Don’t worry, they’ll tell you" is a classic joke. There is a version for bitcoin. "How do you know when someone is a Bitcoin…
“How come ‘you’re a peach’ is a compliment but ‘you’re bananas’ is an insult?”
"How come 'you're a peach' is a compliment but 'you're bananas' is an insult?" That's a good question. Peaches are soft and fuzzy. A woman might have a…
“How come 8 hours at home take 20 mins, but 8 hours at work take 6 days”
"How come 8 hours at home take 20 minutes, but 8 hours at work take 6 days?" was posted on Twitter by JR🏋🏾♂️😈💪🏾 on March 12, 2020. "How come 8 hours at home…
“How come alcohol never kills brain cells that make me want to drink?”
“How come if alcohol kills millions of brain cells, it never killed the ones that made me want to drink?” ~Anonymous" has been cited in print since at least September 2007 and has been…
“How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?”
"How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. American humorist Erma Bombeck (1927-1996) asked the question in her…