“If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?”
"If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?" This play on words has been used since at least 1915, when the joke appeared in the Philadelphia (PA) Public Ledger. A…
Texas (Lone Star State Dictionary)
“If a woman puts me in the friend zone, I immediately borrow money from her”
Do true friend let you borrow money and never pay it back. Jay posted this joke on Twitter on September 27, 2013: "When a woman puts me in the friend zone the first thing I do is borrow money…
“If abortion is murder, then are condoms kidnapping?”
"If abortion is murder, then are condoms kidnapping?" is a one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "If abortion is murder then condoms are weapons of mass…
“If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you pure?”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: Harry ShearerHarry Julius Shearer (born December 23, 1943) is an American actor, comedian, writer, voice actor, musician, author, radio host, director and…
“If action speaks louder than words, how come we learnt English instead of Kung Fu?”
"Actions speak louder than words" is an old proverb. "If actions speak louder than words, why do we learn English instead of Kung Fu?" is a jocular saying that has been printed…
“If actions are louder than words, then why are we learning English instead of Kung Fu?”
"Actions speak louder than words" is an old proverb. "If actions speak louder than words, why do we learn English instead of Kung Fu?" is a jocular saying that has been printed…
“If actions speak louder than words, why do we learn English instead of Kung Fu?”
"Actions speak louder than words" is an old proverb. "If actions speak louder than words, why do we learn English instead of Kung Fu?" is a jocular saying that has been printed…
“If actors are having fun, the audience will have fun, too” (theatre adage)
"If actors are having fun, the audience will have fun, too" is a theatre and film adage of uncertain origin. "The actors are having fun playing their parts and because of their…
“If advertisers were smart, they’d make a silent, slow-motion commercial”
Many people tape programs and fast forward through the advertisements. James Breakwell wrote on Twitter on March 20, 2013: "If advertisers were smart, they’d make a silent, slow-motion…
“If alcohol can damage your short term memory, just think what alcohol can do”
"If alcohol can damage your short term memory, just think what alcohol can do" -- "alcohol" is repeated because the speaker has had too much to drink -- is a jocular saying.…
“If alcohol is a crutch, Jack Daniel’s is a wheelchair”
"If alcohol is a crutch, Jack Daniel's is a wheelchair" was said by American actor and comedian Robin Williams at least by August 1990, when the joke was recorded in a newspaper. The…
“If alcohol is liquid courage, is caffeine liquid anxiety?”
Alcohol has frequently been called "liquid courage." Caffeine has sometimes been called "liquid anxiety." "Consuming large amounts of caffeinated drinks is like drinking…
“If alcohol is liquid courage, then coffee is liquid enthusiasm”
Alcohol has frequently been called “liquid courage.” "If alcohol is liquid courage, is caffeine liquid anxiety?" was posted on Reddit -- Showerthoughts on August 9, 2017. "If…
“If alcohol is liquid courage, then coffee is liquid optimism”
Alcohol has frequently been called “liquid courage.” "If alcohol is liquid courage, is caffeine liquid anxiety?" was posted on Reddit -- Showerthoughts on August 9, 2017. "If…
“If alcohol is liquid courage, then coffee is liquid productivity”
Alcohol has frequently been called “liquid courage.” "If alcohol is liquid courage, is caffeine liquid anxiety?" was posted on Reddit -- Showerthoughts on August 9, 2017. "If…
“If alcohol is liquid courage, then coffee must be liquid motivation”
Alcohol has frequently been called “liquid courage.” "If alcohol is liquid courage, is caffeine liquid anxiety?" was posted on Reddit -- Showerthoughts on August 9, 2017. "If…
“If all economists were laid end to end, they’d never reach a conclusion”
"If economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion" is a quip usually attributed to George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950), but there is no evidence that he said it. In May…
“If all is not lost, where is it?”
"If all is not lost, (then) where is it?" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many gift items, such as posters, buttons and T-shirts. The saying has been cited in print…
“If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end it would be Sunday afternoon”
"If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end it would probably be the Labor Day weekend" is a jocular traffic saying that has been printed on many images. American…
“If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end it would be the Fourth of July”
"If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end it would probably be the Labor Day weekend" is a jocular traffic saying that has been printed on many images. American…