“You’re telling me a whore made these derves?”
"Hors d'oeuvres" is difficult for many Americans to spell. The term has nothing to do with whores, but there are jokes. "First the simple whore derves" was printed in The…
New York City
“You’re the apple to my pie”
The "apple of my eye" is an old idiom. "You're the apple to my pie" is another apple saying that has been printed on many images. "You’re the apple in my pie"…
“You’re the cheese to my macaroni”
Macaroni and cheese is a popular food combination. The movie Juno (2007), written by Diabo Cody (who won an Academy Award for her original screenplay), contained this line: "Juno MacGuff: As…
“You’re the jelly to my burger, the knife to my soup, the glitter to my sushi…worthless”
"You're the Cream in My Coffee" (1928) is a popular song, but not all food combinations work. "You're the jelly to my burger, the knife to my soup, the glitter to my sushi,…
“You’re too blessed to be stressed”
(I'm/You're) Too blessed to be stressed" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Too Blessed to be Stressed" has been cited in print since at least 1993. 25…
“You’re too old to try and ride that skateboard!”/Me—“Hold my Ensure.”
"You're too old to try and ride that skateboard!"/Me -- "Hold my Ensure" is a joke that has been printed on several images. Ensure is a brand of nutritional supplements and…
“You’re wondering about the floor in my building where we go to tell jokes? Funny story…”
A funny "story" ("storey" in the UK) has nothing to do with the floor of abuilding, but there are jokes. "You're wondering about the floor in my building where we go…
“You’ve got to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat”
People sometimes forget to eat, but comedienne Marsha Warfield (who was plus size) said in February 1987, "I hate skinny people. They forget to eat. Now, what kind of stupid is that?" In…
“You’ve got to hand it to relay runners”
Relay runners hand each other a baton. "You've got to hand it to Relay Teams #win100" is a pun that was posted on Twitter by Alan Machnik on November 1, 2010. Machnik also posted the…
“You’ve got to make contacts to make contracts”
"You've got to make contacts to make contracts" is a one-line saying that has been credited to Cavett Robert (1907-1997), co-founder of the National Speakers Association. "It…
“You’ve Tried the Rest, Now Try the Best”
"You've Tried the Rest, Now Try the Best" has been on pizza boxes for about forty or fifty years. The saying is over 100 years old. I found it first used by a New York City…
“You’d think the bathrooms at Bed Bath, & Beyond would be much nicer”
The store Bed Bath & Beyond has bathrooms (restrooms). "FYI: The bathrooms at Bed Bath & Beyond are not as nice as you'd expect..." was posted on Twitter on May 13, 2010.…
“You’d think the self-checkout lanes would have more mirrors”
Many stores have "self-checkout" lines, but they're not to check out one's self. A joke was posted on Twitter by Cameron on May 2, 2012: "You would think the self checkout…
“You’ll never get rich working at a rubber dog shit factory, but you’ll make doo”
"Make do" shouldn't be confused with "make doo," but there are jokes. "I bet if you worked at a rubber dog poop factory, you'd never get rich.... .....but…
“You’re legally allowed to park in a handicap spot if you get back with your ex more than twice”
"You’re legally allowed to park in a handicap spot if you get back with your ex more than twice" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The joke is that this is proof…
“You’re more likely to divorce than to switch bank accounts”
"You’re more likely to divorce than to switch bank accounts" is a popular saying in the United Kingdom. "People are more likely to divorce than move their account to another…
“Your $10 meal will arrive in 30 minutes for $57.86. Thanks for using DoorDash”
Delivery cost (such as DoorDash or SkipTheDishes) can add significantly to the cost of food. "Your $10 meal will arrive in 30 minutes for $53.89. Thanks for using door dash" was posted on…
“Your $10 meal will arrive in 30 minutes for $58.75. Thanks for using SkipTheDishes”
Delivery cost (such as DoorDash or SkipTheDishes) can add significantly to the cost of food. "Your $10 meal will arrive in 30 minutes for $53.89. Thanks for using door dash" was posted on…
“Your ass must get jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth”
"Your ass must be/get jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth" is a put-down that has been printed on several ecards. "Sometimes I wonder, yur Arse must be jealous of…
“Your bank account can be overdrawn, but it can never be overfilled”
"Your bank account can be overdrawn, but it can never be overfilled" is a saying that has been printed on several images. The bank saying was posted on Twitter by Cool Funny Quotes on…