"I crossed the road, walked into a bar, and changed a light bulb. Then I realized that my life was a joke" is a joke that combine three popular memes. "Has changed a lightbulb,…
People often cry when they cut up onions, but not when they cut up carrots or other vegetables. "I purposely cry while cutting carrots so onions don't think they're ugly or…
"With great power comes great responsibility" is a popular line from Spider-Man in Marvel Comics. "With grate power comes grate responsibility" is a cheese grater pun.…
"I Dance Country at the Broken Spoke, Austin, Texas" is a popular slogan of The Broken Spoke, billed as "the best honky-tonk in Texas" and "Texas' most definitive…
The song “Come from the Heart” (1987) by Susanna Clark and Richard Leigh contains the lyrics: “Sing like no one is listening. Love like you’ve never been hurt. Dance like nobody’s…
The song "Come from the Heart" (1987) by Susanna Clark and Richard Leigh contains the lyrics: "Sing like no one is listening.Love like you’ve never been hurt.Dance like nobody’s…
Molly Ivins (1944-2007) often poked fun at Texas ways, but she dearly loved the state. "I dearly love the state of Texas, but I consider that a harmless perversion on my part, and discuss it…
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. One version is: "I decided to cross the road, not because…
"Good morning, Warren, and congratulations on once again not dying in your sleep…" is a jocular version of "good morning" that was posted on Twitter by Munsi on January 3,…
One disadvantage of speeding -- besides potentially getting a speeding ticket -- is that the driver might arrive at a destination too early. "I definitely learned my lesson about speeding…
"I've deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo" is a saying meaning that the speaker changes thoughts so often, something permanent (a tattoo on the…
"I've deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo" is a saying meaning that the speaker changes thoughts so often, something permanent (a tattoo on the…
A joke about a website's home page is: "I designed a website for orphans. There isn't a home page." The joke was posted on Twitter on April 15, 2015 and was originally posted on…
Many people believe that McDonald's (an American multinational fast food chain) is best for hamburgers, and not its fish sandwich. "I did a lot of dumb stuff but I never got a fish filet…
"I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words" os a jocular saying that has been printed on an ecard. The saying was on Twitter on February 24, 2011. Similar jokes…
"I did not hear the question, but the answer is definitely coffee" is a coffee saying that has been printed on several images. "I didn't really hear the question but I know the…
"I did not see that cumin" -- like the saying "I did not see that coming" -- is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "As a result of the oregano post, we…
Pilates (a type of mind-body exercise) shouldn't be confused with Roman governor Pontius Pilate, but there are jokes. "Pilates must be pretty tough exercise if they killed Jesus" was…
A "C" is a letter grade. "C" is a Roman numeral for 100. "Thank you sweet baby jesus i got a C on my roman history test :D" was posted on Twitter by Amanda Kramer on…
A classic failed pickup line -- and snarky response -- is: Man: Do you want to dance? Woman: No! Man: I think you misheard me. I said you look fat in those pants. The joke has been cited in print…