“If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?”
"If you run/jog backwards, will you gain weight?" is a jocular question that has been included on many lists on one-line sayings. "If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?"…
Exercise/Running/Health Clubs
“If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will believe that it is stupid”
A popular quote, attributed to German-born physicist Albert Einstein (1879-1955), is: "Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole…
“If you keep a baseball bat in your car, also keep a glove. Your lawyer will thank you”
"If you keep a baseball bat in your car, also keep a glove. Your lawyer will thank you" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Many people have a baseball bat in their…
“If you keep a beer in each hand, you can’t accidentally touch your face”
During the 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic, people tried to avoid accidentally touching their face. "You know, if you keep a pie in each hand, you can’t accidentally touch your face" was…
“If you keep a drink in each hand, you can’t accidentally touch your face”
During the 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic, people tried to avoid accidentally touching their face. "You know, if you keep a pie in each hand, you can’t accidentally touch your face" was…
“If you keep a glass of wine in each hand, you can’t accidentally touch your face”
During the 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic, people tried to avoid accidentally touching their face. "You know, if you keep a pie in each hand, you can’t accidentally touch your face" was…
“If you keep a pie in each hand, you can’t accidentally touch your face”
During the 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic, people tried to avoid accidentally touching their face. "You know, if you keep a pie in each hand, you can’t accidentally touch your face" was…
“If you keep a sword in one hand and the decapitated head of an enemy in the other…”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused people to avoid touching their faces. "If you keep a sword in one hand and the decapitated head of your enemy in the other, you won't touch your…
“If you kick me when I’m down, you better pray I don’t get up”
"If you kick me when I'm down, you better pray I don't get up" (or "Never kick me when I'm down, because when I get back up...you're fucked") is a saying…
“If you know beans about chili, you know that chili has no beans” (1976)
"If you know beans about chili, you know that chili has no beans" is a 1976 song by Ken Finlay, owner of the Cheatham Street Warehouse in San Marcos, Texas. The song has been sung at many…
“If you know how many calories are in your cinnamon bun, you’re eating it wrong”
Some people believe that the correct way to eat a cinnamon bun is not to think about the calories. This was posted on X/Twitter by bubble girl on March 13, 2015: "If you know how many calories…
“If you know how to cheat, start now”
When pitcher Ross Grimsley was with the Baltimore Orioles (1974-77), he had a very bad outing. Either Orioles Manager Earl Weaver (1930-2013) or Orioles Pitching Coach George Bamberger (1923-2004)…
“If you know someone who is effortlessly happy in the morning, that is a demon. You’re friends with a demon”
Many people are not morning people. "If you know someone who is effortlessly happy in the morning, that is a demon. You're friends with a demon" is a jocular saying that has been…
“If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and go out, it could spell disaster”
Can cooking alphabet soup spell trouble? "If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and go out, it could spell disaster. (Pun of the Day)" was posted on the newsgroup Google Groups:…
“If you leave an alcoholic drink for Santa this year, it must be accompanied by a substantial meal”
The 2020 COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic closed many bars and restaurants. Some bars were allowed to serve drinks, but only if the establishment also served a "substantial meal."…
“If you leave your children a world where you never stood up, they’ll get one where they can’t”
"If you leave your children a world where you never stood up, they’ll inherit a world where they can’t" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "parents, IF YOU LEAVE…
“If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it”
"If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it" is a popular joke, meaning that the $20 (that is not paid back) is a small sum to be rid of an…
“If you let a grilled cheese get cold, it becomes chilled grease”
"Grilled cheese" has a spoonerism in "chilled grease." "JUST before Sunday supper, a Des Moines man asked his daughter if she would like a chilled grease sandwich" was…
“If you let politicians break the law in an emergency, they will create an emergency…”
Government often has "emergency" exceptions to laws. "If you let the government break the law because of an 'emergency', they will always create an 'emergency' to…
“If you let social media get to you, I can imagine what real life be doing to your ass”
Many people take social media much too seriously. "If you let social media get to you i can only imagine what real life does to you" was posted on Twitter by Shiloh_ on August 9, 2017.…