A popular redneck joke is: "You might be a redneck if......you consider a six-pack and a bug zapper to be quality entertainment." American stand-up comedian Jeff Foxworthy wrote a book of…
An old joke tells of a person who is so dumb (or stupid) that he or she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican phone company. "And if you believe that, you probably also think Taco Bell is a Mexican…
A "yo mama" joke was posted on the newsgroup alt.tasteless.jokes on July 19, 1999: "Yo momma so ugly your Grandma threw her on the street and was charged for littering." This…
The Chinese restaurant dish of "chicken fried rice" is fried rice with chicken; it is not rice that is fried by a chicken. "There's no way in hell a chicken fried this…
"You're telling me a crab ran this goon?" (or "So you're telling me a crab ran this goon?") is a joke on "crab rangoon" that has been printed on many images.…
"Hors d'oeuvres" is difficult for many Americans to spell. The term has nothing to do with whores, but there are jokes. "First the simple whore derves" was printed in The…
The "apple of my eye" is an old idiom. "You're the apple to my pie" is another apple saying that has been printed on many images. "You’re the apple in my pie"…
Macaroni and cheese is a popular food combination. The movie Juno (2007), written by Diabo Cody (who won an Academy Award for her original screenplay), contained this line: "Juno MacGuff: As…
"You're the Cream in My Coffee" (1928) is a popular song, but not all food combinations work. "You're the jelly to my burger, the knife to my soup, the glitter to my sushi,…
(I'm/You're) Too blessed to be stressed" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Too Blessed to be Stressed" has been cited in print since at least 1993. 25…
"You're too old to try and ride that skateboard!"/Me -- "Hold my Ensure" is a joke that has been printed on several images. Ensure is a brand of nutritional supplements and…
A funny "story" ("storey" in the UK) has nothing to do with the floor of abuilding, but there are jokes. "You're wondering about the floor in my building where we go…
People sometimes forget to eat, but comedienne Marsha Warfield (who was plus size) said in February 1987, "I hate skinny people. They forget to eat. Now, what kind of stupid is that?" In…
Relay runners hand each other a baton. "You've got to hand it to Relay Teams #win100" is a pun that was posted on Twitter by Alan Machnik on November 1, 2010. Machnik also posted the…
"You've got to make contacts to make contracts" is a one-line saying that has been credited to Cavett Robert (1907-1997), co-founder of the National Speakers Association. "It…
Burger King fast food restaurants hand out a lot of cheap paper crowns. This was posted on X/Twitter by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF on May 6, 2023: "You've got to question the legitimacy of…
Runners sometimes get a "runner's high" (a transient state of euphoria). Walkers sometimes get something similar, but in a milder form. "runners high -- walkers low" was…
"You've Tried the Rest, Now Try the Best" has been on pizza boxes for about forty or fifty years. The saying is over 100 years old. I found it first used by a New York City…
The store Bed Bath & Beyond has bathrooms (restrooms). "FYI: The bathrooms at Bed Bath & Beyond are not as nice as you'd expect..." was posted on Twitter on May 13, 2010.…
Many stores have "self-checkout" lines, but they're not to check out one's self. A joke was posted on Twitter by Cameron on May 2, 2012: "You would think the self checkout…