“When I eat at a restaurant, the waiter tips me”
"When [X] eats at a restaurant, the waiter/waitress tips him" is a joke said about several powerful people, including American martial artist and actor Chuck Norris and Dos Equis beer…
Nicknames/Slogans
“When I eat at a restaurant, the waitress tips me”
"When [X] eats at a restaurant, the waiter/waitress tips him" is a joke said about several powerful people, including American martial artist and actor Chuck Norris and Dos Equis beer…
“When I finish eating something I have to show my hands to the dog, like I’m a blackjack dealer”
"When I finish eating something I have to show my hands to the dog, like I'm a blackjack dealer" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The dog is looking the some food.…
“When I found out my microwave wasn’t waterproof, I was shocked”
A jocular one-liner about a microwave oven is: "When I found out my microwave wasn't waterproof, I was shocked." The "shocking" pun was cited on Twitter on May 21, 2012.…
“When I found out my new toaster wasn’t waterproof, I was shocked”
"When I found out my new toaster wasn't waterproof, I was shocked" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by sickipediabot on June 23, 2010. The joke probably originated on the…
“When I get my tax money, I’m cooking my ramen noodles in Fiji water”
"When I get my tax money, I'm cooking my ramen noodles in Fiji water" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Ramen noodles are what a poor person eats, while Fiji…
“When I get my taxes, I’m boiling my ramen noodles in Fiji water”
"When I get my tax money, I'm cooking my ramen noodles in Fiji water" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Ramen noodles are what a poor person eats, while Fiji…
“When I get younger, I’m going to be a time traveller”
"When I get younger i'm going to be a Time Traveller :)" was posted on Twitter by Tony547uk (and others) on October 13, 2011. Authorship of the joke is uncertain. "When I get…
“When I go to someone’s house & they tell me to make myself at home, the first thing I do is throw them out because I don’t like visitors”
"When I go to someone's house & they tell me to make myself at home, the first thing I do is throw them out because I don't like visitors" is a jocular saying that has been…
“When I grow up, I’d like to be a retired lottery winner”
"When I grow up, I'd like to be a retired lottery winner" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. "When I grow up I'd like to be a 'Retired…
“When I have to fill out a form asking who to call in case of an emergency, I always write an ambulance…”
Many forms ask who to call in case of an emergency. "Employment application blanks always ask who is to be called in case of an emergency. I think you should write, 'An…
“When I hear somebody sigh that ‘Life is hard,’ I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?’”
"When I hear somebody sigh that 'Life is hard,' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?'" is a jocular line about life's troubles that has been printed on…
“When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water”
"When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask(s) for water" is a jocular saying that has been printed on man yimages. Many people play favorite songs over and over,…
“When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and asks for water”
"When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask(s) for water" is a jocular saying that has been printed on man yimages. Many people play favorite songs over and over,…
“When I moved into my new igloo, my friends threw me a housewarming party and now I’m homeless”
A "housewarming party" no longer involves making a house warm, but there are jokes. "When I moved into my new igloo my friends threw me a surprise house-warming party. Now I'm…
“When I needed a hand I found your paw…that’s why you’re so precious to me”
"When I needed a hand, I found your paw" (or "When I needed a hand, I found a paw") is a pet saying that has been printed on many images. Photos of dogs and cats often accompany…
“When I needed a hand, I found a paw”
"When I needed a hand, I found your paw" (or "When I needed a hand, I found a paw") is a pet saying that has been printed on many images. Photos of dogs and cats often accompany…
“When I needed a hand, I found your paw”
"When I needed a hand, I found your paw" (or "When I needed a hand, I found a paw") is a pet saying that has been printed on many images. Photos of dogs and cats often accompany…
“When I open my first business, I’m only hiring trans women. Men’s strength, Women’s wages”
"When I open my first business, I'm only hiring trans women. Men's strength, Women's wages" is a joke that has been printed on many images. Authorship of the meme is…
“When I order Amazon chicken pellets, I get an email a few days later asking for their feed back!”
"Feedback" should not be confused with "feed back," but there are puns. This joke was posted on Sickipedia on August 15, 2019: "I've had it with Amazon. Every time I…