“Please understand I am only taking new friend requests from dogs”
"Please understand I am only taking new friend requests from dogs" is a social media saying that has been printed on many images. "Just fyi, I'm only accepting facebook friend…
Nicknames/Slogans
“Please wait here until you realize your government is brainwashing you” (floor sticker)
The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in social distancing, and many businesses placed small circles on the floor at cash registers where people could stand in line at the proper distance.…
“Please, spare me the lane bowling jokes”
Several bowling puns use the expression "spare me." "Want to hear a joke about bowling? Spare me" was posted on Facebook by Jim Abbas on February 28, 2012. "Please, spare…
“Pleaseburger, cheese” (restaurant order, a spoonerism for “Cheeseburger, please”)
At a fast food restaurant's drive thru, a person might want to say "Cheeseburger, please," but it might come out as "Pleaseburger, cheese" (or "Please burger,…
“Pledging allegiance to a flag is like reciting a love poem to a sock”
"Pledging allegiance to a flag is like reciting a love poem to a sock" is a saying that has been printed on several images. "Pledging allegiance to a flag is like reciting a love…
“Plumbers sing in a faucetto”
"Falsetto" has nothing to do with a faucet, but there are some jokes. "Plumbers sing in a faucetto" was posted on Twitter by Mike H on May 3, 2011. "2nd #PUN FOR THE DAY:…
“Poetry is proof that rhyme doesn’t pay”
"Why are poets poor? Because rhyme doesn't pay," an old joke has it, punning on "crime doesn't pay." "Afterthought: Who said rhyme doesn't pay?" was…
“Poisoned coffee, n: Grounds for divorce”
A pun has it that "poisoned coffee is grounds for divorce." The joke has been cited in print since at least 1968. "Poisoned coffee, n.: Grounds for divorce" has been cited since…
“Pole vaulting is just reverse limbo”
Pole vaulting is sometimes said to be the opposite or the reverse of limbo. A pole vault is for one to get over a bar, while limbo is for one to get under a bar. "another kristenism:…
“Pole vaulting is the opposite of limbo”
Pole vaulting is sometimes said to be the opposite or the reverse of limbo. A pole vault is for one to get over a bar, while limbo is for one to get under a bar. "another kristenism:…
“Police are a fraternity, fire personnel are a brotherhood, and EMTs are family”
A 2015 newspaper story mentioned "an old saying in the EMT business is that police are a fraternity, fire personnel are a brotherhood and EMTs are family." It's not known how…
“Police are hunting a knitting needle murderer. They think he’s following some sort of pattern”
Many serial murders follow a "pattern" -- but usually not a knitting pattern. "Police huntin the knitting needle murderer, he stabbed 6 people in the arse in a month, they believe he…
“Police are like a box of chocolates. They’ll kill your dog”
“Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get" is a famous line from the movie Forrest Gump (1994). Many people love chocolate, but it can kill…
“Police cars should play ice cream truck music when they’re pulling you over for something minor”
A police stop of someone's car can be very intimidating, causing anxiety. However, the stop might simply be to tell the driver that a headlight or a taillight is out. "police cars should…
“Police have arrested the world tongue-twister champion. I imagine he’ll be given a tough sentence”
Criminals are given a "sentence." "Did you hear about the Tongue Twister Champion who was arrested last week? He's expecting a tough sentence" is a pun that was posted on…
“Police jokes just aren’t funny. Give it arrest”
Entry in progress -- BP Reddit -- 3amjokesPosted by u/honolulu_oahu_mod January 6, 2021Hey /r/3amjokes, police related jokes just aren’t funny!!So give it arrest...COMMENTSNathanielleSThat's…
“Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest”
"Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest" (a pun on "resisting arrest") is a popular joke that has been cited in print since at least 2005. A…
“Police: My job is to protect your ass, not kiss it”
"Police: My job is to protect your ass, not kiss it" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Saw a shirt yesterday that said: 'Police Officer: My job is to protect…
“Policy follows the money”
"There's an old saying in Washington that the policy follows the money," a 2011 Fox News story about the defunding of the national healthcare law began. "In other words, if…
“Polish by blood. American by birth. Patriot by choice”
"American by birth. Patriot by choice" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "American by birth, patriot by choice!" was printed in the Albany (OR) Democrat-Herald…