“Every time I hear the dirty word ‘exercise’ I wash my mouth out with chocolate”
"Whenever I say the word 'exercise' I wash my mouth out with chocolate" (or "Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise' I wash my mouth out with chocolate"…
"Whenever I say the word 'exercise' I wash my mouth out with chocolate" (or "Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise' I wash my mouth out with chocolate"…
"Whenever I go running, I meet new people...like paramedics" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "EVERY TIME I JOG, I MEET NEW PEOPLE. OF COURSE, THEY'RE…
"Me & my paycheck trying to figure out when the government worked half of my shift" -- that is, the government took taxes from the paycheck -- is a saying that has been printed on…
"Every time I lose some weight, I find it again in the refrigerator" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on August 19,…
"Whenever I go running, I meet new people...like paramedics" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "EVERY TIME I JOG, I MEET NEW PEOPLE. OF COURSE, THEY'RE…
Many people use self-checkout because it's faster -- only to be behind a slow person. The following observation was posted on Twitter by jordan on April 15, 2021: "Every time I use…
Pastrami on rye, with mustard, is a classic New York Jewish deli dish. A popular joke has a non-Jew entering a deli and ordering a pastrami sandwich -- on white bread, with mayonnaise. "He…
"Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings" is a famous line at the end of the film It's a Wondeful Life (1946). "Every time a/the Taco Bell rings, an angel gets…
"An accountant complains that every time the government shifts to the left, the decimal points in the national debt move to the right," is cited in print since at least 1950. The saying…
"Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings" is a famous line at the end of the film It's a Wondeful Life (1946). "Every time a/the Taco Bell rings, an angel gets…
"Every time you are able to find some humor in a difficult situation, you win" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. "Every time you're able to find…
Kids often enjoy fast food; for adults, it's an admission that they can't (or won't) cook. "Every time you have McDonald's as a kid, it's a victory. Every time you…
"Every time you make a typo, the errorists win" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many gift items, such as posters, coffee mugs and T-shirts. "The errorists win" is a…
The word "vinegar" is sometimes said to have the "n-word" in it, so white people can't properly say it. "@dallasblack comedian just said he's not comfortable…
"'Every triangle is a love triangle if you love triangles' - Pythagoras. @JamesAcaster brilliant this evening" was posted on Twitter on February 12, 2014. Pythagoras was an…
"Every twenty minute job is one broken bolt away from becoming a three day ordeal" is a saying that has been printed on many images. This plaque (listed on Etsy) either coined or…
"Every office/workplace should have an emergency puppy for petting just in case you're having a bad day" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Every workplace…
"Santa" has the same letters as "Satan," and, of course, there are jokes. This was posted on Twitter by patrickswayze’spatrickgravy on December 3, 2015: "Every year for…
New Year's glasses are novelty eyeglasses in the numerical shape of the coming year. They are usually worn just at New Year's Eve parties. The glasses most properly fit for the years…
"Every year Santa delivers presents to kids based on what their parents income is" is a Christmas joke that was posted on Twitter by 51 Shades of Paul on December 10, 2020. The joke was…