“A comic says funny things; a comedian says things funny”
"A comic says funny things; a comedian says things funny" is an entertainment adage. "A good comedian can say things funny and other guys just say funny things" was credited in…
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“A committee is a body that keeps minutes and wastes hours”
"A committee is a body that keeps minutes and wastes hours" is an old joke that plays upon the word "minutes" (a written record and a unit of time). The joke first appeared in…
“A committee is a group of the unwilling, chosen from the unfit, to do the unnecessary”
“A committee is a group of the unwilling, appointed by the unfit, to do the unnecessary" is a joke about committees that has been cited in print since at least 1952. The words…
“A committee is a life form with six or more legs and no brain”
American science-fiction writer Robert A. Heinlein wrote in Time Enough for Love: The Lives of Lazarus Long (1973): "A committee is a life form with six or more legs and no brain." The…
“A committee is twelve people doing the work of one”
Arthur Bloch's Murphy's Law Book Three: Wrong Reasons Why Things Go More! (1982) included: "Kennedy's Comment on CommitteesA committee is twelve people doing the work of…
“A community bound by books” (BookPeople slogan)
BookPeople is an independently owned bookstore that opened in Austin in 1970. BookPeople claims to be the largest bookstore in Texas, but takes pride in serving the community. "A community…
“A compliment is verbal sunshine”
"A compliment is verbal sunshine" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been credited to American professional comedy writer Robert Orben since at least 1988,…
“A compromise is a deal in which two people get what neither of them wanted”
"A compromise is a deal in which two people get what neither of them wanted" is a jocular statement showing that a compromise makes neither party totally happy. "A compromise is an…
“A computer keyboard is a word piano”
A computer keyboard has been compared to piano. "RT @mamasanta computer keyboard my word piano" was posted on Twitter by Kathy Uyen Nguyen on October 28, 2009. "A computer keyboard…
“A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing”
"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing" is a jocular one-line saying about chess that has been printed on many images. Philips told the joke in Emo…
“A conference is just an admission that you want somebody to join you in your troubles”
American cowboy, humorist and actor Will Rogers (1879-1935) wrote in his newspaper column published on July 21, 1932: "A conference is just an admission that you want somebody to join you in…
“A conscience is like a boat or a car. If you feel you need one, rent it” (J.R. on Dallas tv series)
J. R. Ewing (played by actor Larry Hagman) gave some memorable lines in the television series Dallas, such as: "A conscience is like a boat or a car. If you feel you need one, rent it."…
“A conservative is a man who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run”
"A conservative is a man who is too cowardly to fight, and too fat to run" is a witticism from Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915), writing in his magazine, The Philistine, in 1903. The quip has…
“A conservative is a man who worships a dead radical”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Google BooksBulletinVolume 8, Issues 11-181926Pg. 266: "A conservative is a man who worships a dead radical." — John Simpson, president of the Farmers'…
“A conservative is someone who believes in reform. But not now”
Comedian and social satirist Mort Sahl said in 1958 that a conservative Republican is one "who doesn't believe anything should be tried for the first time," and a liberal Republican…
“A conservative is someone who makes no changes and consults his grandmother when in doubt”
"A conservative is someone who makes no changes and consults his grandmother when in doubt" is often credited to U.S. President Woodrow Wilson (1856-1924), but there is no evidence that…
“A conservative man is a man who just sits and thinks, mostly sits”
"A conservative man is a man who just sits and thinks, mostly sits" is a saying that has been attributed to Woodrow Wilson and that has been printed on many images. Woodrow Wilson…
“A conspiracy theorist is just someone who fact-checks professional liars”
"A CONSPIRACY THEORIST IS JUST SOMEONE WHO FACT-CHECKS PROFESSIONAL LIARS" (shown on an image) was posted on Facebook by Truth Theory on August 21, 2024. "A CONSPIRACY THEORIST IS…
“A conspiracy theorist walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A conspiracy theorist version is: "A conspiracy theorist walks into a bar... Or so the…
“A conspiracy theory is a truth, attacked by a chorus of liars”
"A conspiracy theory is a truth, attacked by a chorus of liars" is a saying that has been printed on several images. That is, the conspirators are the chorus of liars. "A conspiracy…