“American by birth. Patriot by choice”
"American by birth. Patriot by choice" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "American by birth, patriot by choice!" was printed in the Albany (OR) Democrat-Herald…
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“American cheese is just regular cheese that’s not afraid to fight for freedom!”
A jocular description of American cheese was posted on Twitter by Jamie Woodham on November 14, 2013: "American cheese is just regular cheese that's not afraid to fight for freedom! Also,…
“American chess players be like, ‘That’s a checkbro’”
"Checkmate" is a chess term meaning that a king is threatened and cannot move away, so the game is over. Some people have suggested changing "mate" (a term popular in Australia)…
“American conservatives are pretty homophobic for people so proud of their four fathers”
"Forefathers" shouldn't be confused with "four fathers," but there are jokes. "If gay marriage is wrong, then why did we have four fathers?" was posted on Twitter…
“American Idol can count 130 million votes during a commercial break. No excuse for this”
The 2020 U.S. presidential election -- held during the coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic -- had early voting and mail-in ballots, and final results were delayed by days. The American Idol television…
“American Idol can count 130 million votes in a commercial break. This is annoying”
The 2020 U.S. presidential election -- held during the coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic -- had early voting and mail-in ballots, and final results were delayed by days. The American Idol television…
“American politics are played between the 40-yard lines”
"There's an old saying that politics in America is played between the 40-yard lines," wrote Fred Barnes (see 1988 citation below). "What this means, for those unfamiliar with…
“American wasabi is just really spicy horseradish dyed green”
Horseradish is often compared to wasabi. Wasabi was called "Japanese horseradish" in 1903 by American botanist and plant explorer David Fairchild (1869-1954). "An Expert Describes…
“Americans are getting stringer. 20 years ago, it took two adults to carry $50 worth of groceries”
A popular inflation joke has needed inflated numbers, from $10 to $100. "A friend of this column thinks Americans are getting stronger as the years go by. As proof, he points out that back in…
“Americans are getting stronger. 20 years ago, it took two people to carry $100 in groceries”
A popular inflation joke has needed inflated numbers, from $10 to $100. "A friend of this column thinks Americans are getting stronger as the years go by. As proof, he points out that back in…
“Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago it took 2 people to carry $10 worth of groceries”
A popular inflation joke has needed inflated numbers, from $10 to $100. "A friend of this column thinks Americans are getting stronger as the years go by. As proof, he points out that back in…
“Americans have more food to eat than any other people and more diets to keep them from eating it”
America has much food and many diets. ""Americans have more food to eat than any other people and more diets to keep them from eating it" is a quip that has appeared in newspapers…
“Americans pay for gym memberships and for people to mow their lawns”
Mowing a lawn is exercise, so who needs a gym membership? "Who needs a gym membership? Just get out & creatively push mow your yd! Jog, lunge, on ur toes.. Smells great & good 4…
“Americans pay for gym memberships and for people to mow their lawns”
Mowing a lawn is exercise, so who needs a gym membership? "Who needs a gym membership? Just get out & creatively push mow your yd! Jog, lunge, on ur toes.. Smells great & good 4…
“Americans prefer houses with basements. They’re best cellars”
Houses with cellars are "best sellers," according to the pun. "I once read a book on how to remodel my basement. I expected a good read since it made the Best Cellars list" was…
“Americans talk dry, but drink sweet” (wine adage)
"Americans talk dry, but drink sweet" is an old saying about the taste that many Americans have in wines. Americans say that they want a dry wine, but ending up drinking a sweet wine.…
“Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn’t block traffic”
"Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic" is a saying that has been printed on many images. American journalist Dan Rather has been credited with the…
“Amtrak implies the existence of Aretrak and Istrak”
Amtrak (from the words "America" and "track") is the national passenger railroad company of the United States. There is no "Aretrak" or "Istrak," but there…
“An accountant is a man hired to explain that you didn’t make the money you did”
"An accountant is a man hired to explain that you didn't make the money you did" is a jocular definition of an accountant. "Accountant: A man hired to explain that you…
“An accountant is someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had”
"An accountant is someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had in a way you don’t understand" is a popular accounting joke. "A genius is a guy who solves a problem you…