“A man tried to sell me a coffin today. I told him that’s the last thing I need”
The expression "that's the last thing I'll need" usually means that the person has no need for that thing. Jokes about a coffin take the "last thing" literally.…
1930s: Jazzing the Big Apple
“A man using Apple maps walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." An Apple Maps version is: "A man using the new Apple maps walks into a bar... or maybe…
“A man walks into a bar and asks for a Corona and two Hurricanes…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." The year 2020 brought many problems, such as the coronavirus pandemic, and in late August…
“A man walks into a bar and asks the quickest way into town…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A popular joke involves someone who asks a local person about the quickest route (to New…
“A man walks into a bar and hears a voice say, ‘Nice tie!’” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A classic joke involves a man who walks into a bar, and he hears a voice say, "Nice…
“A man walks into a bar and says, ‘Give me a beer before problems start!’” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A popular version has a man walk into a bar and shout, "Give me a beer before problems…
“A man walks into a bar and sees a fat girl dancing on a table…” (bar joke)
According to one popular bar joke, a man enters a bar and sees a fat girl dancing on a table. "Nice legs!" he says. "Do you really think so?" she asks him. "Definitely.…
“A man walks into a bar and sees a gorgeous woman…” (bar joke)
A popular lawyer joke has a man go into a bar, where he sees a smartly dressed woman. The woman looks at him and says, "Listen! I'll screw anybody, any time, anywhere, your place, my…
“A man walks into a bar and sees a smartly dressed woman…” (lawyer joke)
A popular lawyer joke has a man go into a bar, where he sees a smartly dressed woman. The woman looks at him and says, "Listen! I'll screw anybody, any time, anywhere, your place, my…
“A man walks into a bar carrying an octopus…” (bagpipes joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." "A guy walks into a bar with an octopus..." is a popular off-color bar joke that…
“A man walks into a bar in New Orleans…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." The year 2020 brought many problems, such as the coronavirus pandemic, and in late August…
“A man walks into a bar wearing a tie fastener…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A tie fastener version is: "A man walks into a bar wearing a tie fastener. The barman…
“A man walks into a bar with a gun…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A popular sex joke version is: A guy walks into a bar with a gun, looks around, and shouts,…
“A man walks into a bar with a newt…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A newt version is: A man walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder. The barman says,…
“A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm…” (bar joke)
"One for the road" usually means that a person wants a drink at the bar before commencing on a long journey (such as on a train or an airplane, or a car that he or she is not driving). A…
“A man walks into a bar. His alcoholism problem is destroying his family” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." An anti-joke of the bar joke is: "A man walks into a bar. His alcoholism problem is…
“A man walks into a bar… and stays there my entire childhood” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." One version -- an anti-joke -- is: "A man walked into a bar...and stayed there for the…
“A man walks into a bar…” (bar jokes)
Bar jokes have existed probably as long as bars have existed. In the 1950s, the jokes began with animals (such as a dog or a kangaroo) coming into a bar and asking for a drink. By the 1970s, the…
“A man walks into a bar…lucky bastard” (bar joke, told during COVID-19 bar closures)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." However, during the 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic, most bars were closed. The joke was:…
“A man walks into a library and asks if there are any books on poor eyesight…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." Sometimes the bar joke is mixed with a library joke. "A man walks into a library and…